Linus is the new Simeoni!

by DemonCats on Nov 10, 2008 5:32 PM EST

Just when we thought that HWMNBN was over the bile that caused him to chase down that minor irritant Simeoni and make him his bitch for the day, word comes that the bile is rising anew and this time it's name is Linus.

It all stems from Gerdemann's statements regarding HWMNBN return to the peloton- "This is not positive for the credibility of cycling," said Gerdemann, "But there's nothing anyone can do about it."

In response, the Team Astana has gone after the German "Great White Hope" with abandon.

HWMNBN's German disciple, Andreas Kloden, was most direct when he said that his 26 year-old countryman has "a small profile neurosis" which makes him force his way into the media, presenting himself as "Mr. Clean and the saviour of German cycling," while not showing enough respect to Armstrong."

He continued, "Linus will do all he can to get press. I don't have to go up to every camera and present myself as the saviour of cycling. Linus should keep calm and show respect" for Armstrong.

HWMNBN was quoted as saying "He's right, I am older. I raced with Sean Kelly, Stephen Roche, Miguel Indurain and Greg Lemond of all people. I have been around a long time and I don't know who the hell Linus Gerdemann is, but I know that when I rolled up in 1992, I started winning races. And when I roll up in 2009, I am gonna be winning races. He better hope he doesn't get in a breakaway with me because I can still ride hard," said the Texan.

Klöden reminded the young German that he would need "friends in the peloton," and that Armstrong would not be one of them;

"Lance was angry."

Will someone make sure that nice young lad gets sent to the Giro?

I've always wondered what it looked like to have a giant snake swallow a man alive!!!

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Oy

This is just trash talk. Somehow I can’t believe Lance would really carry around a grudge like this, right? Doesn’t he have better grudges?

CQRanking.com, you complete me.

by Chris... on Nov 10, 2008 6:34 PM EST 0 recs

My favorite Eric B and Rakim line?

I hold the microphone like a grudge…

Grudge. Nah. Vendetta? Because of such insolence? For sure!

I remember the Chicken (~:>) mentioning once that if you attacked HWMNBN on the bike, he’d come back and attack you twice as hard.

Gerdemann will be taught the lesson before long.

Racing for Victory and Free Beer!

by DemonCats on Nov 10, 2008 7:22 PM EST 0 recs

LA is "thinking of a master plan"

So that he can be “paid in full”

If you don't have time to do it right the first time, when are you going to have time to do it again?

by CannonDowell on Nov 11, 2008 9:43 AM EST up 0 recs

Poor Linus.

I think HE needs a bodyguard!

by Albertina on Nov 11, 2008 10:16 AM EST up 0 recs

i volunteer :)

by nickel17 on Nov 11, 2008 9:16 PM EST up 0 recs

Same Here, I think he looks sweet

I could eat him :-)

by CycleGirl on Nov 12, 2008 7:08 AM EST up 0 recs

Count me in too.

He will be surrounded by a formidable wall of defence. Just watch Lance try and get past us! Ha!

by Albertina on Nov 12, 2008 8:45 AM EST up 0 recs

and we could also do his hair

while we are keeping him safe :)

by amarone on Nov 12, 2008 8:52 AM EST up 0 recs

There's already a young blond in my life I'm dedicated to keeping safe.

And I do his hair. But, like, he’s my son. So you came up with just the combination to creep me out a little.

by majope on Nov 12, 2008 8:59 AM EST up 0 recs

sorry

Note to self: stay away from the young blonds…

… concentrate on the olders ones instead ;)

by amarone on Nov 12, 2008 9:12 AM EST up 0 recs

ladies, please calm yourselves!

i actually meant in the literal rather than the, er, libidinous sense, although i’d be willing to cooperate in a hair correction coup…

by nickel17 on Nov 12, 2008 11:05 AM EST up 0 recs

Oh absolutely!

If he doesn’t consent to this I shall attack him from behind with a pair of scissors which will be secreted about my person.

by Albertina on Nov 12, 2008 9:02 AM EST up 0 recs

Yeah, the blah, blah blondy pups are cute in a little brother sort of way only.

by Katiek on Nov 12, 2008 9:49 AM EST up 0 recs

Paid In Full, 2008

Thinkin’ of a master plan
Cuz ain’t nuthin’ but sweat inside my band
So I dig into my jersey, all my money is spent
So I dig deeper but still comin’ up with lint
So I start my mission- leave my residence
Thinkin how could I get some dead presidents

I need money, I used to be a Postal kid
So I think of all the devious things I did
I used to roll up, this is my call up, ain’t nuttin’ funny
Stop smiling, be still, no one move up in fronta me

But now I learned to play like I’m righteous
I feel great! so maybe I might just
Search for a brand new team, if I dream
Then maybe I won’t get creamed

So I roll up the Champs whistlin this
Feelin out of place cos, man, do I miss
A ticker taper, a lion, a tape of
Me and JB, and a nice big plate of
win, which is my favorite sin
But without no dopin’ it’s still a wish

Cos I don’t like to dream about gettin paid
So I dig into the books of the crimes that I made
To now test to see if I got pull
Hit the ASO, cos I’m paid in full

(For the culturally disadvantaged)

by Sui Juris on Nov 11, 2008 10:37 AM EST up 0 recs

Fresh for 2008... You Suckas!

That’s what I’m talkin’ about right there!
.
.
.
.
Peace out.

by Ryan_Liles on Nov 11, 2008 11:53 AM EST up 0 recs

Dang!

I have been served. Nice..

If you don't have time to do it right the first time, when are you going to have time to do it again?

by CannonDowell on Nov 11, 2008 5:25 PM EST up 0 recs

thank you

tho’ I totally blew the fish/dish/wish bit. Sigh. The white man’s burden is a hard thing to carry.

by Sui Juris on Nov 11, 2008 10:45 PM EST up 0 recs

Respeck!

It’s in such short supply, ya can’t even find it in the dictionary anymore.

Racing for Victory and Free Beer!

by DemonCats on Nov 13, 2008 10:13 PM EST up 0 recs

It turns out

that Lance never went after Simeoni at all.

"First off, I did not chase Simeoni down," Armstrong said. "I was simply following his wheel. That is the truth of the matter. I never bridged across to Simeoni. He was in front of me, people were attacking, he accelerated, and I stayed on the wheel. We have footage of the race that will back that up. There was never more than bike length between us. There was no gap closed. There’s a big difference between following wheels and closing a gap."

Armstrong said he’d naturally expected the peloton to follow, and was surprised to see that the pair had opened a gap when they reached the day’s breakaway a few kilometers later.

Well, that’s his story, anyway.

by Mark T1979 on Nov 11, 2008 12:35 PM EST 0 recs

I read that

I personally feel it’s the dumbest thing he’s ever said. OK if it’s aimed at the ESPN-“never seen a bikerace in my life”-crowd, but to think that anyone who follows cycling will change his/her opinion on the event based on that statement is moronic.

Carlos Sastre - Tour de France winner - Born From Jets

by Jens on Nov 11, 2008 2:49 PM EST up 0 recs

Yes, he's dug a little hole for himself there.

How could a man who boasts continuously about how he focuses on every single detail of a race, meticulously leaving nothing to chance, “not notice” that he’d ridden across to a breakaway one minute up the road?

And that doesn’t even come close to explaining why it was Simeoni, and not just Armstrong, that had to drop back.

It’s pretty shabby that he’s coming up with such a transparently false explanation, instead of just owning up – ‘we had a grudge, etc…’

Not great.

by Mark T1979 on Nov 11, 2008 3:37 PM EST up 0 recs

Oh dear. Look, let’s get some facts clear here. First off, this is the same line he’s been trotting out since this incident happened. He followed a wheel, he didn’t chase, he didn’t bridge across to Simeoni. Simeoni brought him up to the break, 40 or 50 seconds up the road. Cause he was following Simeoni. Not chasing him. It’s simple semantics. Lying, cheating, junking cyclists have been using simple semantics for decades. Not that that should be taken to mean that I think LA is just another a lying, cheating, junking cyclist …

According to Bruyneel mind you, it was personal, to do with the past, not a racing incident. Maybe LA needs to listen to JB sometime.

pounding along in three ratios like a sonata
like a Ritter with pommelled scrotum atra cura on the step
Botticelli from the fork down pestling the transmission
tires bleeding voiding zeep the highway

by fmk on Nov 11, 2008 3:50 PM EST up 0 recs

Was that in Bruyneel's book?

If so , perhaps Lance should have read it a bit more closely before trotting out the same story.

Whoops!

by Mark T1979 on Nov 11, 2008 3:53 PM EST 0 recs

Question?

Is there really a pic of LA doing the “zip the lips” thingy? That would pretty much end this conversation in my mind. Not that I have doubts of his intentions on that day.

If you don't have time to do it right the first time, when are you going to have time to do it again?

by CannonDowell on Nov 11, 2008 5:30 PM EST 0 recs

Oh don't worry - Lance has got an "explanation" for that too

And what about the infamous images of Armstrong flashing Simeoni the international "zip the lips" gesture? Armstrong said that had nothing to do with Simeoni’s comments about Armstrong’s relationship with Ferrari, and everything to do with the Italian rider’s loud protests in the breakaway group. "People will say that was all about the omerta, the code of silence," Armstrong said. "That’s nonsense. It’s because Simeoni was yelling at everybody, about everything. We joined the breakaway, and everyone was working except him. He was sitting on. I was working with guys in the group. He would not pull, but he was yelling about everything."

Sure, that makes sense. Simeoni busts a gut to get across to a breakaway, so he can have a good yell while sitting at the back.

The guy must be mad! I mean, fancy making such a fuss! What on earth could he have been worrying about?

by Mark T1979 on Nov 11, 2008 7:39 PM EST up 0 recs

Well that’s changed a bit in the last few years. But he is riding teh Giro next year. Here’s what he told one of his pet poodles in 2005:

He was yelling, not working, because they were pissed at him. That’s what happened. If you watch the film, you’ll see that. He did not work at all. He was whining, like some Italians do

Spot the bit that’s changed?

pounding along in three ratios like a sonata
like a Ritter with pommelled scrotum atra cura on the step
Botticelli from the fork down pestling the transmission
tires bleeding voiding zeep the highway

by fmk on Nov 12, 2008 4:54 AM EST up 0 recs

Broad generalizations about the Italians, rather than the French?

by JFS_PGH on Nov 12, 2008 10:33 AM EST up 0 recs

Notice also

that HWMNBN’s current version of events is directly contradicted by what he said at the time, namely

Armstrong… suggested that many of the riders in the peloton were on his side. “Simeoni is not a rider that the peloton wants to see in the front group. All he does is attack cycling and say bad things about the riders and the group in general,” said Armstrong. “When I came back to the peloton, I had a lot of people patting me on the back.”

So in 2004, it was a deliberate act, for the sake of the peloton.

In 2008, it was something that happened by accident.

by Mark T1979 on Nov 11, 2008 7:44 PM EST 0 recs

Lance Alert! Lance Alert! MAJOR Breaking News!

Lance Armstrong, the legendary seven-time Tour de France winner and saviour of our cancer-ridden souls will not – NOT!!! – be riding the Wellington Cycle Classic. OMG!!! Say it isn’t so Joe!!!

Organisers of the NZ stage race have been unable to scrape together the small change to make up the USD500,000 appearance fee required to make the streets of Wellington a serene and welcoming place for our lord and saviour.

Further, according to RadioSport.nz, “Christchurch’s Festival of Cycling also had a crack at securing Armstrong but were told it is not about the bike, it is about the money.”

pounding along in three ratios like a sonata
like a Ritter with pommelled scrotum atra cura on the step
Botticelli from the fork down pestling the transmission
tires bleeding voiding zeep the highway

by fmk on Nov 12, 2008 6:17 AM EST 0 recs

well, that and the podium sheep

by Sui Juris on Nov 12, 2008 8:42 AM EST up 0 recs

True, but I do think that Lance’s demand that the podium sheep had to look like his mommy was a bit unnecessary.

pounding along in three ratios like a sonata
like a Ritter with pommelled scrotum atra cura on the step
Botticelli from the fork down pestling the transmission
tires bleeding voiding zeep the highway

by fmk on Nov 12, 2008 8:45 AM EST up 0 recs

Ah, well played, sir Sui.

by The Team Chef on Nov 12, 2008 8:47 AM EST up 0 recs

Streets of Wellington=very steep.

Do they not have the steepest road in the world or something there? That would be a fun little climb.

by Albertina on Nov 12, 2008 8:47 AM EST up 0 recs

what a bunch of horseshit.

Is he seriously not going to ride because they won’t give him a half mil? This guy’s arrogance knows no bounds. Way to promote cycling, spread your message, not look for profit, etc etc etc.

Maybe I’m missing something here. I realize that what I’m saying isn’t very nuanced. So if I’m wrong someone tell me and I’ll recant.

But as it stands now, come on. Can anyone say this guy gives a f*** about cycling?

by plinytheelder on Nov 12, 2008 9:10 PM EST up 0 recs

I think there is a lot missing to this story.

I find it pretty shady that some race promoter is even publicizing something like this.
Why would he do that? Um, to get press about a nice, but pointless race in Oz?

Maybe it is just me, but I think what LA is really suffering from is the PR machine tailwind sports had that really managed all these little things that seem to now be popping up.

Who wants to make a bet that he’ll pull a ‘Tom Cruise’ between now and July?

by Ryan_Liles on Nov 12, 2008 11:49 PM EST up 0 recs

I'd like to just have 500k at any time of my life

it’s not like Lance is getting asked to ride in Baghdad, why does he even need to be paid to go to a beautiful place like Wellington. I think he thinks that he is a NBA or MLB star, who can only do something when he is fed a ton of money.

"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt

by Phil H. on Nov 12, 2008 11:14 PM EST up 0 recs

I do think some here are being a little unkind to our lord and saviour. Come on, let’s face facts. Not only does he need but he also deserves a serene and respectful atmosphere in which to ride his bike. Now asking a promoter to cobble together $500,000 loose change …. well I’m sorry, but if the promoter can’t manage a simple little task like that they how can they be trusted to have the San Pellegrino chilled to the right temperature, make sure all the blue M&Ms are removed from the candy jar and ensure that LA’s pillows are fluffed to the correct consistency each night? and don’t forget, NZ is the opposite side of the world. Think of LA’s roaming charges as he Twitters his way around the antipodes – that’s going to be massive. Or imagine the stress he’ll have to endure worrying over whether he remembered to turn off all the taps in the Texas ranch this time cause he doesn’t want to face yet another massive water bill when he gets him.

pounding along in three ratios like a sonata
like a Ritter with pommelled scrotum atra cura on the step
Botticelli from the fork down pestling the transmission
tires bleeding voiding zeep the highway

by fmk on Nov 13, 2008 8:25 AM EST up 0 recs

Help me out here.

I keep poring over the UCI calendar for next year, and I can’t find the Wellington Cycle Classic anywhere. Do you have last year’s start list? I’m curious as to how many of the pro peloton showed up in a quest to add it to their palmares.

Actually, never mind—given the 83 hits Google gives me when I search “Wellington Cycle Classic” -Armstrong, I should be able to find out everything I need to know about the race pretty quickly.

Looks an awful lot like the organizers wanted a celebrity appearance to boost visibility. That’s something you pay for—especially when you expect someone like Lance to take time out from training for races that do count to do it.

by majope on Nov 13, 2008 8:57 AM EST up 0 recs

Simeoni appeals to Armstrong, over at CN:

“We are rivals on the bike, but we can be friends in charity works,” he said. “He is dedicated to the fight against cancer, and I am dedicated to [Italian blood donation association] AVIS. These are two solidarity projects that could be united in one important event for the world of sport and society. I would like to ride with Armstrong side by side to promote our projects for a good cause.”

Erm, not sure that’s going to happen.

by Albertina on Nov 13, 2008 7:53 AM EST 0 recs

i said a hip hop a hippie to the hippie
to the hip hip hop, you dont stop
a rockin to the bang bang boogy say upchuck the boogy,
to the rhythm of the boogity beat.

Racing for Victory and Free Beer!

by DemonCats on Nov 13, 2008 10:41 AM EST 0 recs