Dear NBC: An Open Letter
by Jen See on Dec 15, 2008 9:42 PM EST
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Dear NBC,
It has come to our attention that you have been chatting with Signor Zomegnan about bringing next year's Giro d'Italia to America. This is very exciting news. However, are you certain you are adequately prepared for this challenge? You see, we Giro fans are extremely passionate, and easily offended by such gaffes as mis-identifying riders, failing to understand team tactics, and ignorance of cycling basics. You will need to do your homework, if you're serious about this Giro plan.
And this is where we can help. You see, we are steeped in the knowledge of who's who and who matters in professional cycling. We know an echelon from an Escalade, a Cima from a chimney. You really do need our help, if you want to make it through this Giro. Lyne, she's a master of the interview. Gav, she actually knows Italian. Imagine that. Between us, we got this cycling thing so down.
So here's what we suggest. You chat with Signor Zomegnan and buy yourself some Giro rights. Then, you hire us as on the scene correspondants to help out. We'll sort out the teams. We'll have riders past results ready and waiting, even the most obscure-might-make-it-into-the-break-only-his-mom-knows-his-name neo pro. We got your Giro history all cued up. Did you know Fausto Coppi won the Cuneo-Pinerolo stage in 1949? We do. We'll hang out at the Processo alla Tappa and get all the good Gossip, because that's where the real Giro news is. Bet you didn't know that did you?
See, you really need us. You want your Giro coverage to be good, right? You don't want a bunch of bloggers to be slamming you day after day for making silly mistakes, do you? No, you really don't, because bloggers, well, they're mercilous. So do consider our proposal. You can reach us here at the Cafe, if you have any further questions.
Sincerely,
Lyne and Gav
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But if they hire you
than there won’t be Jimmy Roberts extremely sad pieces, right in the middle of an exciting, “feel good” event. Now who could possibly survive that? Oh, right, I COULD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh oops. still venting over NBC here.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Do you girls need anyone to help drive you around or carry lugggage?
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
I'm so there for you girls.
I’ll even get a european card for my garmin so we don’t get lost. :-)
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
I'll drive, you can so navigate.
The girls can chill out and prepare in the back from stop to stop. This is all so perfect. When do we go?
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
you will need photographer no doubt.
and yes I will schlepp too.
by Christopher See on Dec 16, 2008 12:04 AM EST up reply actions
But has one ever been as fun as this one?!?
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
Please Santa!
Please!
Could you imagine our Dynamic Duo? The would KICK Trautwig and Bobke’s collective butts!
That would be awesome. I could say I knew them when…
Racing for Victory and Free Beer!
Guarantee
I can get time off in May, if the price is right (transport and a hotel).
CQRanking.com, you complete me.
by Chris Fontecchio on Dec 15, 2008 11:18 PM EST reply actions
Seeing as I am the future VN Tech Editor and all
You would be silly not to include me on the squad! I could do all of those “I’m standing here with Damiano Cunego’s bike and what makes this bike special is the shape of the tubes”, except it would be Lance’s bike probably, or some other ’merican’s bike, and I could go all nuts on the bottom bracket, or the handlebar tape, or something else that is new…
Oh an we also have Cyclegirl and Albertina
That have skills in tracking down the riders and getting time chatting to them and photographs….
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
PS: if we get the job, can you pay for airfares. hehehehe
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
Yes, we are the masters (or mistresses) of the charm offensive.
I am also willing to do the fashion reporting. That, after all, is intrinsic to the experience of the Giro.
" We know............... a Cima from a chimney"
Bernie, is that you?
Carlos Sastre - Tour de France winner - Born From Jets
You left out Tifosa.
She has been following the Giro and riding the course for a while now. She even got one of the years best pictures when she had a PdC press credential and caught Bettini giving his daughter a ride on the handle bars. :-)
Speed on the descent can easily be lost when you slam into a tree.
also left out the Traut!
him and Tim Dagget are gonna be plenty mad! seriously though, nice work! ;)
by plinytheelder on Dec 16, 2008 11:37 AM EST up reply actions
PdC press credential... Damn it
We should have got one for the TDU, I would have gladly done it for you.. Oh well looks like Astana is getting my stories now ..haha Only joking, you guys will get the naughty version… :-))
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
Uhh... can I do the motorcycle work?
You know… like ferrying the podium girls from stage to stage like providing in-race coverage of the testa de la corso?
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.
Jimbo
I’m sure you’re really a nice guy and all, but I’m thinking that Dan didn’t exactly have your arms wrapped around him in mind when he was imaging this.
I have heard rumor that there are in fact pictures of Jimbo
when he was podiumgirl in the 1987 Tour de West Virginia. For 50$ perhaps someone will post them online?
Carlos Sastre - Tour de France winner - Born From Jets
OK this ain't Italy
but if you ferret round in the ToC or USA Cycling websites long enough you will probably find some request for motorbike riders to do stewarding/marshalling duties. I saw something similar on the British Cyling board earlier this year. And request is probably an understatement, begging letter would be fairer. It sounded pretty much like if you have a bike of yor own you’re in.
I think you have to be certified (maybe wrong word) but I think
there is more to it than just signing up. Although Dan has some time (I’m sure) he could squeeze it in and then he could be Lyne’s moto during the race and the podium girls escort after. :-)
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
This was already discussed...
… apparently you just volunteer to do it for local crits and and stuff to get a reputation and then you can start moving up the ranks. But as Lyne suggests above (below?) there is some sort of certification that needs to be done… I think it’s press credentials.
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.
Hey, if one can muster up being an official, surely you can muster up being a moto! :-)
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
no, not press credentials
any vehicle driver (car, motorcycle) in a caravan for a UCI race must have UCI credentials
What is a UCI "credential"?
Does it involve standing on one foot and doing the special handshake while peeing on the ASO logo?
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.
Cash will do nicely
No, wait. Hein Verbruggen is no longer at the UCI.
Carlos Sastre - Tour de France winner - Born From Jets
Oh you Yanks
you’re just far too professional about this. I suspect that if you have your own yellow jacket you can pretty much name your spot at our races.
I'll just settle for the race
I think that’s about as much as anyone can expect. Riders names? We can figure that out on our own. But, I may not need coverage anyways as I’ll be in Europe during the Giro, Tour, Vuelta. Not to rub it in. I may just may be able to make it to one of the GTs next year.
If I just had one more gear, I...
Yeah
I’d be a little disappointed if you haven’t already mapquested the distance from your future home to Mayrhofen.
CQRanking.com, you complete me.
by Chris Fontecchio on Dec 16, 2008 3:43 PM EST up reply actions
And please NBC -
Give us more than an hour or half hour wrap up on Sundays. Make your mark. Be bold. Live daily coverage is what we need and lots of replays – even if it is on msnbc or one of those other many, many networks you carried olympic coverage on. We don’t care which. Even Oxygen will do. (Girl like cyclists cycling.)
So.. When everbody is gone..
I will defend the fortress.. Somebody has to talk the blogs full..
Some say the best things in life, are one the inside.
I'll help frinking. European travel is not on my itinerary anytime soon.
Too busy paying the bills and raising children. Sigh.
by ZoeRochelle on Dec 17, 2008 11:50 AM EST up reply actions
Oh I've been missing all the fun!
I want to go too!!!
I’m sure you’ll need an artist/art director at some point! ;-)
That does it...
Let’s take up a collection and just buy the rights ourselves. Obviously we have a full team here ready to go… Shit, let’s just buy NBC! We can toss everything except 30 Rock.
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.
I will gladly do the local food reports
it’s a tough job, I would have to sample the best food from all the stage finishes and starts, it’s grueling but I’m man enough to take it. If you ask yourself why we would need food reports, just remember this is an American broadcast, the fattest country in the World! It would help ratings, I guarantee you.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
And you could have riders on as quests.
And once we take over NBC, during the off season you could make and sample their favorite dishes. With a live audience of course. :-)
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
Good idea
can my co-host be the fat Lampre fan, he seems capable of handling this rigorous job.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Ok, here you go
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Ha. I'll take that pic over the nasty ones that CrashDan has burned our eyes with.
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
Secretly, Jimbo is disappointed...
by Lard Lad’s embrace of Birkenstocks instead of Crocs.
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.
What!, we were surpassed
those damn Aussies! How dare they get fatter than the country that created the fried twinky!
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Come to Indiana.
We have Deep-Fried Pepsi. Mix some Pepsi syrup into your dough, form into balls and dip into funnel cake batter that is also enriched with Pepsi. Deep fry, then drizzle with more Pepsi syrup. Because that isn’t sweet enough, finish by sprinkling with powdered sugar.
Boy howdy! We know how to eat in the heartland.
Google is my domestique.
I need bypass surgery just from reading that post
Carlos Sastre - Tour de France winner - Born From Jets
I really don't want to eat pepsi flavored balls
call me crazy. but that’s not exactly my type of food. But now that I saw that I am even more curious of how the Aussies beat us, the must be deep frying their kangaroo meat by now.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
uh....
I hesitate to slam anyone’s local cuisine, but uh… that sounds unbelieveably disgusting.
Yech.
and if any expats
are missing such monstrosities, you can get one of those @ Eamon’s in Alexandria, VA.
LOL
No, It’s because there all lazy and can’t cook for themselves, don’t get of their Ass and eat crap takeaway all the time.. and would rather the goverment pay for them to stay home instead of gtting a job, ohhh ok i’ll stop now..
Also they use your BMI scale, which has it’s on problems as well, as you know, most bodybuilders are Obese using the BMI scale..
And Phil, Eeewwwwwww Kangaroo meat Yuk, I’ll never eat anything that is on our National Emblem… LOL
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
You can say the same thing about many Americans
and the food in some areas of this country is pure fat, or seems like it. But you tell all those Aussies to stop eating so much, so the US can be number one again. We’re number 1, we’re number1 dammit!
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
In all seriousness, there is no way to get reliable data of this kind.
Most countries do not keep this data and using the US BMI is a poor way to do it. First world countries are the fattest though because we can be. In many cultures fat=healthy.
Because I am a so-called fat person (based on the BMI index) who exercises, and eats about the same as everyone else who isn’t fat I can say the current BMI scale is ridiculous and so is the msm’s shameless reporting of results from research studies funded by the diet and bariatric surgery industry. Shaming people does not change their genetic make-up or their mentality towards food.
I am actually happy that the economy tanked so that msm now has something else to report other than how fat people are. Did you know that new (real) research is showing that fat people live longer than thin people? Much of the past common wisdom and research is being debunked by new studies.
In case there is a few of you who are interested here is an excellent highly-regarded site by a nutritionist . http://www.junkfoodscience.blogspot.com/
/soapbox speech
Did you also know....
fat people are harder to kidnap.
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
My girlfriend has that on a bumper sticker/magnet on her car.
I cracked up the first time I saw it. I’ll stop from sharing the other magnet she has.
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
Fat people live longer than thin people?
alright, suck on that thin people. Ok I’m not huge but a little overweight so this is good news.When it comes to the BMI, I never liked that thing anyway. People can decide for themselves if they are happy with their body and weight or not. If they are obese on the scale but happy with themselves then they should just say f**k the scale. If they want to lose weight then they can go for it. Either way, only you should decide how much you want to weigh and how you want to look.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Yep, the BMI thingy is ridiculous. Or I like to think so anyway.
It says I’m slightly overweight, but I don’t eat much, and I don’t sit on the sofa all week, and I take a fairly small clothes size. I’m told you can tell more about your health and potential for later lack of it from waist to hip ratio, though I’m no expert. Anyway, if Danny Cipriani is overweight, I’m happy to be!
Dito with that Phil
If your happy then so be it!!!
I just passed my fitness test at work about an hour ago, so the BMI can take it and shove it…
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
I am world class when it comes to running up and down stairs
carrying armfuls of priceless books though. Perhaps this should be an Olympic event?
My favorite library event
was finding mis-shelved books in the stacks. It’s like a logic puzzle, only in reverse—you have to figure out how careless people think.
Google is my domestique.
ugh
I hated when people mis-shelved books I was looking for. Grrrr. It made me cranky. Book is in library. Book is not on shelf. I likelihood that I knew the misplacer increased my irkedness.
+1000
Nothing more annoying as a student. And now I have to face the wrath of library users who can’t find their book and expect me to be able to find it for them. Usually they’re being silly and looking in the wrong place…sometimes the book genuinely has walked (books more defo have legs) and I’m left stuttering “but but but I don’t work in collection management! I do databases, not books!” Working life is such a trial….
Well done. That is to be commended.
Some people seem to think we hide them on purpose. Today I had a protracted ‘argument’ with an elderly gentleman doctor who was utterly convinced that when we get journals in, we leave them gathering dust in the office for a month before processing them. He just wouldn’t believe me when I tried to explain that they don’t appear on their publication date because they physically have to be shipped from the US. I mean, we can’t teleport them now can we? Sheesh!
There's also the strength discipline:
how many rolling stacks can you move at once? Our health and safety guy would have a fit if he saw saw me moving my customary 6.
Lazy bastard..
Now he thinks he have to walk once in stead of twice?
Some say the best things in life, are one the inside.
My grandmother tried to get me to do that.
So did the girl scouts.
In the 70’s. In L.A.
Seriously, WTF?
Carrying books on my head
is one of the pointless things I’m amazingly good at. The other used to be knotting my hair at the back of my neck so that it would stay without the use of bobby pins, but then I got a haircut so you’ll just have to take my word for it.
Yes, I did ask for more useful super powers.
Google is my domestique.
I can do the knotting hair without pins thing,
and frequently do! It’s so not pointless. I have the sort of curly and quite strong hair that stays where it’s put.
Well, okay.
It’s not pointless to us curly-haired types. But for some reason, other people tend to not find it terribly impressive.
Google is my domestique.
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