FanPost

Boxing day Crit down under

The day started off Ok...not too bad a Christmas hangover, tyres on the Madone in good nick, fave lycra fresh and clean.  Then i realise I'm faffin around like an old moll and obviously in need of my testosterone.  Too late, take it now and I'm riding on oestrogen and progesterone so we'll just have to make do. Decided to ride the 20km to the start and timed it to perfection with time for a 30 minute stretch and a recon round the course.  Tight course with two U turns and some fast corners on about a 1km circuit.  Some guy in the check in line up whingeing about the delay so i suggested he calm down before having a hearty which he didn't take too well.....wanker!!  Lost my wheel magnet on the warm up lap so not a clue about speed or distance, 35 minute race.

The pace was on from the start.  Then I noticed my Dad in the hands of the first-aiders but he was talking to them so there was nothing I could do. (My dad has rapidly progressing dementia and this may have been the last race he ever watches me do). Mind back on the race, two guys off the front so i chased them down and we opened up a gap and then backed off so it was all together again. 20 minutes in and the pace is on again and i'm third wheel when i whoopsied on a 45km/hr left hander, then over corrected and hit the road hard.  Everyone avoided me so i got up, straightened the bars, put the chain back on, tucked my rude bits back in, fought off the first aiders and got back on and chased (forgot I could have had a lap out).  HR was doing 165 (I AM 48!!) but I got back on to the pack at about 30 mins.  Then the same two guys go off the front so i had to drain the reserves to get their wheel.  Another guy came with me and four of us hit the two laps to go sign (they did that just for me....isn't that nice?).  Still three with two corners to go and the whinger guy opens a gap which i tried to bridge but meant I slightly overcooked the last corner and lost his wheel.  I was closing but couldn't get him before the line so second......behind a wanker!!  I'd post a picture of the rash if I knew how....it's lovely.

Damage to the Madone....bar tape, pedal rash and bent rear deraillieur.  Pearl izumi shoes shredded, fave lycra now has 'character'.  Chance of sleeping tonight....minimal.

I now have 250mg of testosterone in my bum muscle and can wave pre-menstrual goodbye and look forward to puberty tomorrow. 

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