Dude Smack Down: Slater v. Armstrong
by Jen See on Dec 3, 2008 2:05 PM EST
in Cafe Happy Hour!
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Kelly Slater
Bra... Bend at the knees, not at the waist.
How do the two Dudes match up? Smack Down on the Flip!
Slater Photo, Copyright Gavia. Please don't steal it.
Armstrong Photo, Copyright AP. If they want it back, I'll give it to them. But only if they fix their captions.
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You know it's the off-season
when people start making surfer/cyclist comparisons :) Very entertaining though, Lance dating those sticks, who call themselves humans(Olson twins) still freaks me out.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
well that's my point
in the off-season there is nothing going on, so there is time for these posts, which are very good because they make this time of year more entertaining. But if you would try to write this post in April, we would yell at you for even mentioning a surfer when we are focused on Flanders and P-R.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
It might be a bad thing on a cycling blog
you know, I heard there were some fairly important events in April, but if you find a surfing blog, well then Slater can be around any time :)
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
In defense of Lance, he did publicly denied dating either Olsen Twin.
He did say they were friends. From what I read it looked like it was all a media gossip fantasy frenzy. The pics I saw of them were clearly photoshopped. But only they know for sure.
Another reason I’d rather be an anonymous face in the crowd.
Isn't publicly denying something in the celebrity world
the same thing as admitting to something in the so called “real” world? Not a big issue, just creepy because they still look like they are 15 or something.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
I thought
Bra was the new Bro? My kids aren’t old enough to translate yet, so my info is sketchy.
CQRanking.com, you complete me.
by Chris Fontecchio on Dec 3, 2008 6:19 PM EST up reply actions
"Bra"..as in "yah bra stoked ya?"
the word not the garment has been surfer speak for bro for a long time.. Has roots on the islands, ya bra? I think bro has always been boarder speak.. and they just wish they were surfers.
by Christopher See on Dec 3, 2008 7:24 PM EST up reply actions
Oh the Bra boys look get too,
But very very bad boys….
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
hold on for a minute while I
whistle up my Aussie translator.. one of them has to be making snow right now…. I know it looks like English
;^)
by Christopher See on Dec 4, 2008 9:03 AM EST up reply actions
Yeah sorry.. that was after the third glass of wine
I meant the Bra Boys look good too, But very very bad boys :-)
Hope this helps
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
You mean you guys are going to have a contest
with who has the best sunset photo. I so can’t wait! (LOL!!!)
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
so you're sayin'
i need to do some stalkin’? ;-)
as a side note, i’m pretty sure that gravity took a hand in that armstrong photo and he face-planted.
Gav - this one rocks!
And the side by sides are great. Reef vs Road rash. I think we could use a few more pictures posted here though of Mr. Slater so we can better agree upon that hotness number he has. :-p~
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
Oh crap! Time for me to get out of this post
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Forgive me, I know zilch about surfing...
…I assumed Kelly Slater was a girl, then got all confused. Such an awful confession I know!
2006 SI Hot Man of the Year... nice. :-)
The caption:
US weekly Sports Illustrated published the rating of world’s most handsome male athletes in 2006. The results are quite predictable. Kelly Slater comes first. When he doesn’t surf, he poses for photographs.
Source: SI.com
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
And one in the water...
Source: Lat34.com
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
And of course - to help keep the guys reading...
One of his girls….
Source: SurfersPath.com from this article.
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
Who is...
ah, never mind.
CQRanking.com, you complete me.
by Chris Fontecchio on Dec 3, 2008 6:20 PM EST up reply actions
awriiiight
but cycle dude clothes beat surfer dude clothes (on men anyways) hands down. Except surfer dudes can wear white surfer trunks without penalty.
Sometimes I wonder...why is that Frisbee getting bigger?...and then it hits me.
More Dude Smackdowns!
In fact, I might ask to borrow the template.
CQRanking.com, you complete me.
by Chris Fontecchio on Dec 3, 2008 6:20 PM EST reply actions
think the kids at sports base could get us some photoshop?
it would make the dude smackdowns so much easier to produce.
lol, but uh, sure, more dude smackdowns. {gav pulls out crumpled list, pencil, adds “dude smack downs”}
Hm,
We do buy some photos, in the big sports. Could arrange something.
CQRanking.com, you complete me.
by Chris Fontecchio on Dec 3, 2008 8:11 PM EST up reply actions
we could have a lot of fun
with things like this with graphic toolz. i did this using a word processor and a screen capture. primitive. difficult to control size, can’t put more than a screen’s worth of stuff in it.
more would be funner.
Who won this smackdown anyway?
I’m going with Slater because of the girlfriends, he even dated Pam Anderson once, and somehow managed not to have a secret porn tape of theirs released.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
lol
My own personal opinion is that hottitude should count quintuple. Also, Sl8r has 9 wins. Armstrong only has 7.
I’m going with Slater. But perhaps we should vote. Huh. Maybe this will be a future feature of the Dude Smack Down, voting.
Yeah, you should put up a poll on this post
make it a real competition.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
You know, I'm prepared to be educated in this surfing lark...
I think I’d rather he had hair though.
that was awesome
can you clue in on how to clean up my not so shiny new mac…?? Slater hands down, hotter women, and I don’t care how freaking hard Alp D’Huez is, dropping into double and triple overhead takes a real pair. When it goes wrong, you don’t just climb off you fight to survive.
I think it takes some balls going down a mountain at 100km per
if you fall there than you don’t just climb off either. I agree with you Slater wins this, just defending the size of the non-dopers(we all know what doping does to that area) balls.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
si...
I ran out of space – otherwise there would have been a descending mountains versus dropping into gi-normous pipeline. both a tad challenging, and certainly not for the faint of heart.
I vote for surfing
as the gnarlier of the two sports. Two reasons… 1) mountain roads do not move while you are descending them, and 2) I cannot surf…
How many deaths have there been in pro surfing?
just curious, seems there would have been a few
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
in "normal" competition?
I can’t think of any, actually. There are usually lots of people around – and during contests they have jet skis in the water. So, like Sunset yesterday was crazy, but they did have the skis out. And by the time these guys are at that level? They’ve logged a lot of hours in lots of heavy conditions, and they know their limits.
In big wave surfing – where they tow in with jet skis – things get gnarly quicklike. And there’ve been some fatalitiies at Mavericks in NorCali and Waimea in Hawaii.
the best most notable by far was
Mark Foo at Mavericks in 94. I’m sure there have been more, but they tend to be somewhat lees publicized then say Casartelli or Kivilev, since more people in the world ride bike in their day to day lives then ride waves. Also cycling deaths seem to occur in very public locales whereas surfers tend to move on in remote exotic places far from the public eye.
by Christopher See on Dec 3, 2008 8:18 PM EST up reply actions
A guy died at Mavericks
several years ago. Not sure if the big wave contest was on at the time, but I think not. Besides that, I’ve never heard of a pro surfing death. I think most people who die surfing are either alone, or get hit by another surfer. Both of those are unlikely in a surf contest. And the surfing I’m thinking of as being “gnarlier” is the big wave stuff. Those guys are out of their freaking minds…
Ok, thanks all
I wasn’t trying to compare it to cycling btw, I was just curious, good to know that there haven’t been that many on the pro level.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
I wasn't intentionally comparing the two
Those were just the references that popped into my head as I typed.
by Christopher See on Dec 3, 2008 8:32 PM EST up reply actions
It's all good
I’m just amazed that there haven’t been more pro surfer deaths. When I was living in Cali I remember there were reports of amateur surfers dying several times, and I wasn’t even living in SoCal
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
ja
Generally, it’s dudes surfing alone in remote areas. Or, paddling out drunk/stoned/high in over-sized surf. Definitely not happening during contests. And generally the pro guys are so surrounded by entourage and whathaveyou, that they are unlikely to get in trouble.
There have been a couple chomping incidents in Mex lately. But even that’s pretty rare.
I’m leaning toward cycling as the more dangerous, really.
agreed
Even guys who will talk about Foo in 94 will say it was a freak thing……
by Christopher See on Dec 3, 2008 8:31 PM EST up reply actions
Is there an equal to "schlecked" in surfing?
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
lol, not that i know of
But dudes get “Slater’d” all the time: they fall off their boards trying to surf against him. has a knack for the mental games. watching his heats is always interesting that way.
There might not be one in surfing
but there sure is one in skateboarding
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
viddy porn
Here’s some viddy. Trestles, Cali. If it doesn’t come up directly, flip through to slide number 8 (usually the linkies work, but just in case.)
Yes!!!!!!
the poll is up, thanks Gav
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Oh man... that line is priceless today.
“twit him he’s getting slater’d”
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
You know, Kelly Slater is basically the HNWNBM or surfing don't you?
The guy was basically one of the first surfers who really focused on competing and made that his entire focus for a lot of years.
I remember way back now that he got a lot of heat with regards to this single focus from the purists who think of surfing as a lifestyle and not a sport at all which was very similar to the crap HNWNBM is dished.
I find the irony in this smack down amusing.
Oh really?
He was a known gifted talent at a very young age. Just like HNWNBM.
He consistently would destroy his competition using both physical and psychological means. Just like HNWNBM.
He would slut himself out to make a bunch of money doing things like being on Baywatch. Just like HNWNBM has popped up in movies.
He has lifetime sponsors like Quicksilver. Just like HNWNBM has with Nike.
He dated skanky actresses like Pamela Anderson. Just like HNWNBM.
He retired, but then came back again to compete. Just like HNWNBM.
Shall I go on?
What is the break down of HNWNBM???
I know the HWMNBN (he who must not be named) but can’t figure the one above out.
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
Yadda, yadda . . .
Sorry about that.
I thought it was rather His Name Will Not Be Mentioned.
I’ll just stick with using the dudes’ name from now on.
Wasn't trying to be a pain
but I was stuck and couldn’t figure out what words were making it up. And we know I am pretty damn slow with all the shortcuts we have. LOL! Carry on…
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
Ok since i'm aussie and he beach is my second playgound, it's about time i showed some Hottitude surfing shots...
http://www.nyfilmvideo.com/2008/ny-feb/presrelease/kelly_slater.jpg
Bra Boy Koby Abberton
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
Did you ask him if you could wax his board?
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
Women surfers
don’t all wear string bikinis? I’m so disillusioned. I bet you all have stopped listening to the Beach Boys too, right?
CQRanking.com, you complete me.
by Chris Fontecchio on Dec 4, 2008 1:16 PM EST up reply actions
Not being familiar with Mr. Slater
I looked him up on Wikipedia, and find that not only did he have a recurring role on Baywatch, but he appeared all three Young Guns movies. All three.
I’m sorry. That’s worse than dating any number of Olsens.
Young Guns?
Not the Young Guns you’re thinking of. There’s a series of surf viddy (porn) sponsored by QuickSilver. And yes, he’s in all three.
The Baywatch thing, well, is there anything good about that?
Are those up for the video swap we have going on too?
I can see it now…. Biking to the Giro and quick switches to check the surf. ":-)
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
Funny
where we go snowshoeing, power lines aren’t much of a hazard.
CQRanking.com, you complete me.
by Chris Fontecchio on Dec 4, 2008 6:20 PM EST up reply actions
hmmmm are we going to do the smackdown for the hottest team??
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
I actually spent a few hours yesterday rounding up evidence for a few teams
Hey. It was Friday, and we were having a new furnace installed. It’s not like I could concentrate.
Did some work on Lotto, Quick Step, and Liquigas. But I doubt I’ll have the motivation to do them all. What were some of the others under consideration?
Plus she can't sleep 'cause it's too warm
by her so she gets my nomination to start the nominations thread. ha ha!!!
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
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