Yellow Lab Coats... or How To Save The Tour

Dear Tour de France organizers,

I have an idea to end the doping culture in professional cycling. I believe it may save the sport.

In the wake of Floyd Landis' fall from grace in 2006, the Rasmussen, Mayo, Vinokourov debacle of 2007, and the continued EPO/CERA problems this year, please consider the following as a means to restore public trust and to assure that everyone is racing by the same set of rules.

Since many results in recent years have been achieved through the hard work of shady doctors and dubious labs, I suggest we bring them out of the shadows. When the Tour begins next year, instead of cyclists, invite the doctors themselves to take the starting line. Since they are largely responsible for who wins, get rid of those disruptive middle men on the bikes. Who needs them anyway? We want to see the real competitors go at it.

Instead of jerseys, though, our racing doctors would of course wear lab coats. And they could find sponsorships in the pharmaceutical world. Think about it! No more hypocrisy: "Dopage obligatoire!"

I have heard an unconfirmed report that next year's favorite, Dr. Ferrari, may have already signed with Team Pfizer.

Sincerely,
Un ami du Tour

P.S. for more on the history of doping in the Tour, click here (apologies for the self promotion--but it is relevant...).