Welcome to Podium Cafe Profanity-Laced Tirade Day

That was very rerfeshing.

Chris, this reminds me of the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode when they hired a Chef with Tourettes to run their new restaurant. Ever see that one?

%&x%x^$##@!##$x%x(%%~!!!!

Riccardo ricco is a giant fucking moron, and I’m just as big a moron for thinking a guy who bursts away uphill and openly idolizes a human crack vial could be clean. The Podium Cafe isn’t threatening to go anywhere, but this sport will be a hell of a lot less fun if everyone is on this new delayed-acting drug. godfuckingdammityoustupidmotherfuckers!!!!!!!

Whew.

I wrote that about Ricco, the stupid little twerp. Fuck him. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his junk.

Horrible question, but has to be asked. Also, why has no one tested positive in any other race this year? Are there even tests going on?

Are you fucking shitting me? What a dumb fuck. God DAMN it! What the fuck do you have to do to get through to these motherfuckers?

I am really pissed. More than I have been over the past two years. These guys behave like junkies.

shit.

sorry. It’s the Boston in me.

Now he can join the ranks of Zero, just like his idol – Pantani- the other junkie Italian.
Go somewhere and crawl in a hole.
High hematocrit level, you know why now.
Watch out lil Prince, they are coming for you.

RR, he looked like a dickhead anyway.

I’m hearing there’s no test for this particular EPO and riders of teams of a certain nationality isn’t getting tested. Of course.

but I actually did a fist-pumping Happy Dance this morning at 7:30am, when VS came on the screen. I have been hoping since Super Besse that I’d wake up one morning and hear that they caught that little fucker.

OK, now back to normal, lady-like Ruthann….. The person I feel worst for, of course, is Frank Schleck. Beaten by two SDS, and out of yellow by 1 second. You can’t say that he would be in yellow right now if Ricco and his ilk had not been there, but still…

And I am hoping that Scott Cycles is plenty pissed at this, too.

I’m glad it’s Ricco and not someone I actually like.

Freaking hilarious
Take a Hike

Why do we (collectively, it seems) get the doper vibe from Ricco, but not Cav? Both have youth, success, arrogance, and incredible displays of talent. With Ricco, my doper antenna said “incredible, indeed”. Cav? Not really.

Strange, no?

Here’s what Ricco’s night is going to be like...

has me wondering about the girlfriend cyclocrosser (Vania Rossi) – she could easily dump him for the good of her career so as to not be seen as associated with a doper. disgrace in the cycling world and likely suspension, possible jail time in France, other losses as well potentially … why do they do it?

As Ricco’s #1 fan on this board and a huge admirer, I have just inserted my cycling shoe clear up my ass. Fuck that asshole. I have been on vacation all week and have spread the gospel of cycling, and Ricco to my non-cycling family. They actually took interest in the TDF, and my mancrush on Ricco was explained to them almost nightly over beers and BBQ.

I even had my dad going to the stranger’s house on the lake to watch yesterday’s stage on the internet. All the while, I professed my love of Ricco to the fam, knowing that it would be easier for them to get behind a personality than a team or “admired” rider.

Then, driving home this morning I hear on the news that Ricco has been busted. My mancrush. Fuck him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Riccardo Ricco, you are a world class crotch goblin and have made me look like a world class prick for actually thinking you were just talented. I apologize to all on this board who have had to put up with my Ricco love since the Giro. I will appear on the town square aat 11pm tonight for the public stoning. Spunout, you have first crack at me.

And on a final note. Fuck you Riccardo Ricco. I’m an eternal optimist, and you have just punched me in the cock.

punch at Ricco.

Well, okay. At least in the top 10, though.

... with all their bikes… and a mechanic sitting on the ground at the back of the truck with his head in his hands, crying. As bad as it is for us today… that poor bastard has it worse. If anyone gets ahold of him, let him know that 300 or so PdC members will buy him dinner and beer each night for a year.

... and we’ve got it on video...

I think every cycling fan in the world gets one good bitch slap to Ricco as punishment. Ricco walks into the Aldi, picks up an orange and ‘BAM’ some guy in a Primal Wear jersey knocks him upside the head with a kumquat.

If I’m remembering the story subject correctly. It almost seems like that story was planted to lure the dopers out and into thinking they were untouchable. Interesting.

From Sweden, but not with love.

... I found no redeeming quality in a guy that mouthed off that bad and pissed off his team to the point where they wouldn’t even work for you.

Then it seemed like you learned, like you matured, like you were starting to be a real stand up team mate. Then you showed spectacular stuff here at the Tour… seemed like you had really arrived as a contender… you made me start to like you.

Now, you fuck, you pompous, stuck up, snot-nosed, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dick-head, asshole… now you’re exposed as a fucking CHEAT. You’re the little bitch that stole marbles from me in elementary school… you’re the little bitch that drank my last beer without asking… you’re the little bitch that keyed the gas tank on my Triumph… you’re the little bitch that stole the radio out of my Bug… you’re the little bitch that gave me pneumonia… you’re the little bitch that took my presentation on technical support technologies and presented it to the entire company as you’re own.

You’re a little bitch.

Fuck off. For every guy that you’ve just fucked over, for every rider that didn’t get a contract because you took up budget space, for every guy that couldn’t get a ride in a race because you took their place on the team, for everyone whose paycheck will now be unfairly spanked because you don’t have any HONOR... Fuck you.

Fuck you swinging. Fuck you and the Scott you rode in on. Fuck you sideways. Fuck your noise. Fuck your skinny pasty white chest. Fuck your white sunglasses. Fuck that ugly ass suit you wore to the Giro presentation. Fuck your attitude.

I hope you never know another moment of professional success in your life.

And this guy sitting on the ground…

... who you probably joked with while he adjusted your seat or replaced your wheel… he hates you know. And you deserve it.

And oh yeah… I fucked your girlfriend… three times… during the stage to Super Besse. Three times, Ricco. She said you never went three times… Ricco.

Moments after his teammates returned from sign-in, Ricco climbed out of his team truck and joined police in a Saunier Duval car for a trip to a local police station for further questioning. The news had spread fast and both vehicles were surrounded by scores of reporters and fans, the latter of which began hissing and booing as the rider made his way to the car.

He’s lucky no one threw anything at him.

Is that Ricco the fucking snake was doped to the fucking gills and still couldn’t pull of a decent fucking time trial. Every time I see a dead snake on the side of the road I will think of this whiny pasty scrawny bitch of a cyclist lying forever in the ditch as this wonderful sport continues on past him. Perhaps the peleton can stop on their way past and have a nature break on this disgrace of a cyclist.

but the threats of violence and the sexual taunts, and calling the guy a ‘cocksucker’ is kind of offensive on a whole other level that has nothing to do with Ricco or with doping. I know it is not intended by anyone here to be offensive in that way, but it is. At least to me. Not trying to be a concern troll, or to be anyone’s mom, or pick on anyone in particular, but I would hope that we could retain some sense of decorum in that regard. Just something to consider.

If you’re entering a rant, hit preview first. This way, you get the catharsis from lashing out at another stupid day for the beautiful sport of Cycling… and a chance to see if there’s anything in it you might wish you hadn’t said.

When I was added to the team
I asked my teammates what lies ahead?
Can we ride cleanly, and still win a race?
Here’s what my teammates said.

Take CERA, CERA,
That shit gets you up the hill
If you don’t use it, your rivals will
Take CERA, CERA
And go in for the kill.

When I was training for the Tour
I asked my doctor, "Hey, should I dope?
Will I get tested, will I get caught?"
He smiled and just said "Nope."

Take CERA, CERA,
Invisible in the test
They’ll all think that you’re the best
Take CERA, CERA
When you line up at Brest.

Now I am thrown out on my ass
My team’s disbanded, what did I do?
Will I be employed ever again?
Will all my sponsors sue?

Blame CERA, CERA,
The Cobra they once adored
Won’t be racing anymore
Blame CERA, CERA
All done at twenty-four.

—Marlys Pearson

... because as I struggled, mightly, and ultimately failed, to maintain some sort of focus at the gym this morning, I thought to myself “once the initial stabbing pain of this passes, there’s gonna be a verbal hangover of mammoth proportions over at the Cafe” and sure enough… here it is.

Given the option to repost, I would remove the last bit… a snarky quote from the movie “The Ref”, which is an R rated movie and is, upon further review, over the top.. and maybe pare down the Otto quote from “A Fish Called Wanda” bit. I would like to rescind those statements, not because I don’t feel surprisingly angry at this, but because it would pain me to think that I’d made any of you, faithful readers of PdC, look squinty eyed at me and wrinkle your nose. I honestly apologize for that… I want to be angry… but not hurtful.

I’d also like to repost something that I put over in the “Boonen Coke” thread…

We have ALL, every one of us, made a mistake of similar relative magnitude (not necessarily the same act) at some point in our lives, and how you act when your mistake is held up to the light of day, determines your character.

I am, and will always be, a person willing and determined to give someone a second chance.

I am, and will always be, a person willing and determined to give someone a third chance, even AND ESPECIALLY when they don’t deserve it.

I still believe that and live that… every word of it. If Ricco makes the honest effort now and acts with honor, I will be waiting to be his fan.

Further… not that any “up and coming rider” will ever read this comment, but, for every up and coming rider that is out there… that thinks doing it all naturally, giving it everything and LOSING, isn’t worth the effort, I would like to quote Theodore Roosevelt from his speech to the Sorbonne on April 23, 1910…

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Still, I blame Ricco for stealing my marbles.

I just got back from a recovery ride.
The wind was still warm, the ocean breeze was still salty, there were still too many pricks in SUVs, still a nice rhythm of spinning legs and clicking gears; when I got back, I was still sweaty…just like yesterday and the day before. I’m still stoked about doing some racing with my teammates this weekend…
As much as this really pisses me off and is an embarrassment, Ricco isn’t the sport…we are.

Maybe we should start a PdC betting pool for time until the next dope bust. I’ll put $20 down for “within 72 hours”...

No more “pointy arrow in the groinal region” kit for the rest of le Tour

Maybe there have just been so many positives over the last few years.

I’m not a Ricco fan or a Ricco hater. He brought some color to the race. So it’s not about him really.

I’m sadden for the sport.

My local paper for the first week of the Tour had it’s coverage in the Sports Roundup section. It told who won and who was in yellow. That’s it.

When the first positive came down the coverage moved to the front page of the sport section. – “Spanish Rider Test Positive for EPO” and followed with a big story. The sport has no one to blame but itself.

... TOTALLY trying to avoid the doping controls :)

His favorite cyclist evah was Marco Pantani. In my opinion, Pantani’s legacy has been saved by the fact that there was no EPO test in the 90s. They might have actually found traces of blood in his EPO system. Pantani had climbs that were not to be believed.

I’ve heard rumors of L.A.’s motorcycles with chilled panniers… at some point you’ve gotta clean the whole slate.

I think the ASO would do us all a HUGE favor by re-staging the awards presentations for Ricco’s wins. Shoot, Pereiro should get a big ole presentation, maybe at the end of this Tour. PR is the entire reason for the race. sheesh.

when this news broke. But tonight I smile with all of your who have said it so much better. I share this…

My sweet little Amber both Thursday and Friday night’s asked me if we could “watch bikes.” (She’s 3 so it was flat out cute and proof I recruit fans young!.) So for her last 15-20 minutes of chill out before bed (after reading like 10 books of course) we would turn on the VS replay and she would ask if the guy on tv was my friend. She picked up quickly the shots of the American riders were key to cheer for. When they would pop on screen she would ask – is that him? I would smile and I would say, yep. :-) She would sit with me and we’d cheer them on. So adorable. I’m so proud to be able to offer her amazing guys to believe in. Being a friendly fan of both C’s and Will’s this tour and those two nights will be remembered forever as simply inspiring and treasured. There’s nothing that someone like Ricco could ever do to come close to that.