Ricco's Lament
by majope on Jul 17, 2008 2:29 PM EDT
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PrintRicco's Lament (sung to the tune of "Que Sera, Sera")
When I was added to the team
I asked my teammates what lies ahead?
Can we ride cleanly, and still win a race?
Here’s what my teammates said.
Take CERA, CERA,
That shit gets you up the hill
If you don’t use it, your rivals will
Take CERA, CERA
And go in for the kill.
When I was training for the Tour
I asked my doctor, "Hey, should I dope?
Will I get tested, will I get caught?"
He smiled and just said "Nope."
Take CERA, CERA,
Invisible in the test
They’ll all think that you’re the best
Take CERA, CERA
When you line up at Brest.
Now I am thrown out on my ass
My team’s disbanded, what did I do?
Will I be employed ever again?
Will all my sponsors sue?
Blame CERA, CERA,
The Cobra they once adored
Won’t be racing anymore
Blame CERA, CERA
All done at twenty-four.
—Marlys Pearson (if you like it, feel free to pass it on--just credit me, please)
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Cera
The exclusion of Astana was unjust, and the ASO’s smugness about the matter and thinking they were going to have a better Tour with less scandal pised me off even more. Now here we are with Ricco. I couldn’t stand the cocky shit so I’m glad I can hate him and feel justified about it. I’m just glad he was busted before ruining the stage to Alpe du Huez. I’m also glad to see that the Tour isn’t being protected from scandal and that WADA is doing a great job. Fuck the dopers.
Good point
I’m really glad he won’t be riding L’Alpe D’Huez now…
one point
At least the exclusion of Astana, is not just a punishment against a rider, at least try to blame one group of people. Those riders always are the victims, and where are the doctors, coaches that estimulate the rider to use? If they begin discarded this people, it’s already a good start.
by semprenaroda on Jul 17, 2008 9:50 PM EDT up reply actions
Brilliant rendition
Better than the original if you ask me.
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
With inspiration for the activity from Majpope above...
The Santé Prison Blues – Johnny Cash…
I hear that train a comin’, it’s rollin’ round the bend
And I ain’t seen the sunshine, since, I don’t know when
I’m stuck in Santé prison, and time keeps… draggin’ on
But that leadout train keeps rollin’, on down to Le Bourgogne
When I was just a baby, my Momma gave me hugs
Said “Always be a good boy, don’t ever take those drugs”
Well I shot my ass with EPO, just so I could climb
When I see those sprinters movin’, I hang my head and cry
I know there’s unknowns racing like Ivan Rodriguez
He’s probably out descending or climbing Alpe d’Huez
Well I know I had it comin’, I know I can’t be free
But those riders keep on racin’, and that’s what tortures me
Well if they freed me from this prison, if that peloton was mine
I bet I’d move it on a little cleaner down the line
Far from Santé Prison, there’s where I want to stay
And I’d let that lonesome crosswind, blow my blues away
Ricco stole my marbles.
by crashdan on Jul 17, 2008 3:34 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Yes - we'll break these back out
at ToC 2009 sponsored by the Podium Cafe.
That might be my favorite Johnny Cash song. It’s either that or Cocaine Blues (yeah I know – the irony. Still, it’s a kick ass song. Especially live from Folsom Prison. Wow – more irony).
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
"Down there by the Train" for me
Johnny Cash singing Tom Waits. That was as good as he got to me.
You should here Johnny's version
of Springsteen’s “I’m on fire”. Wow.
by Peter Fontecchio on Jul 17, 2008 9:45 PM EDT up reply actions
Raising the bar
I really wish I didn’t have any work to do…
"If writing too much about the Classics is wrong, I don't want to be right."
by Chris Fontecchio on Jul 17, 2008 4:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Swap jobs for a week with Dan
You’ll be cranking out new posts 5 at a time :-)
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
I get extra VDS points...
... for finding a way to rhyme “Alpe d’Huez” right?
Ricco stole my marbles.
(openly laughing)
I love my new nickname btw
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
I have it tattoo'd now, are you personallizing your knuckles too?
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed."
I particlarly liked that part
and the Ivan Rodriguez part is very clever.. I will never be able to think his name again without using my Johnny Cash voice
Que CERA
Brilliant. I passed it on. Very soon you will be famous, or perhaps not.
+1
"I won! I won! I don't have to go to school anymore." -- Eddy Merckx, after winning his first bike race
Hey - Fonzie is here!
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
I'd tune in for that
mid 1970’s Pinky – not today’s.
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
Forwarded and credited...
with no backlash from the usual Eurosport bashing folks here at work. Truly inspired lyricism there Marlys :)
Ricco stole my marbles.
Ricco's last words, after being shot in the gut (by himself)
Here’s a classic movie line (#73 on American Film Institute list of famous film quotes) that applies today to Ricco (aka Rico). It’s from the 1931 gangster movie – Little Caesar: “Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?” – Edward G. Robinson as “Rico” Bandello saying his final words.
Larry from Albuquerque
Way Back Machine
I don’t need a “way back” machine. I was there, well almost.
Ricco: Still synonymous with racketeering
Of course the Tony Sopranos of the world are worried about RICO (Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act).
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