You know you've watched too much of the Tour when...
You know you've been watching too much of the Tour de France when...
...you raise your hand and look behind you when you want food passed to you at the dinner table.
...you draft behind other shopping carts at the grocery store.
...you shave your legs and walk around the neighborhood in spandex.
...you begin referring to your family doctor as a "soigneur."
...you pass cars going up a hill and look back at the other drivers to see if they're "in the red."
...you raise your hands in triumph when you beat your wife to the TV remote.
...after being the first one in the family to reach your house from the garage you instinctively urinate in a small vial.
...you begin wearing a polka dot shirt.
...you start wearing polka dot pants to go with your polka dot shirt.
...your kids unexpectedly walk in your room and you desperately try to flush your Tylenol down the toilet while screaming, "It's not mine! Some Italian just brought it in here!"
...you pull to the side of the road and urinate without leaving the car. Then, when your kids ask what you're doing, you tell them you're just taking care of a little "besoin naturel." You ignore your kids when they ask why the grass on the side where you stopped has died and is giving off smoke.
...during dinner, when you finish a drink, you nonchalantly throw your glass into the next room.
...you scream "Six points! Kaching!" every time you drive under a green light.
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...during dinner, when you finish a drink, you nonchalantly throw your glass into the next room
This one I have to try…
"If writing too much about the Classics is wrong, I don't want to be right."
by Chris Fontecchio on Jul 18, 2008 2:29 PM EDT reply actions
I always raise my hands in triumph
when I beat my wife to the remote.
by australopithecine on Jul 18, 2008 3:40 PM EDT reply actions
I don't draft in the supermarket . . .
but I do when I’m driving for any distance during July.
Added benefit: the guy pulling should be the one caught for speeding, not me (the protected rider).
OK racers (speaking of driving)
How many of you have driven home after a race using tactics that, um, don’t entirely translate to interstate highway traffic? To be clear, I’ve never Dood-smak’d a car when hitting a gap for the open left lane. If everyone drove like I did, we’d be as efficient as the peloton. But of course, there’s always the guy with the hairy legs…
"If writing too much about the Classics is wrong, I don't want to be right."
by Chris Fontecchio on Jul 18, 2008 5:48 PM EDT up reply actions
My wife is
always trying to convince me to let her drive home after a race. This never happens and we usually end up in an argument :-)
Good Times!
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
I would add
how many of you racers yell at other cars for letting gaps open between themselves and a faster car?
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
In honor of Ricco...
... you fail the SAT and then say it wasn’t your fault but that the test was flawed.
... you forget to flush, but when confronted by your wife, you maintain that it’s “someone else’s urine sample” in there…
you grab a snack out of your purse
and throw the purse out the car window at a stranger forgetting its not a musette
You can not only identify all the riders and DS's
but you can identify some of the fans by the side of the road (other than the Devil)
You paint your name on the carpet three times...
... outside of your office at work.
Ricco stole my marbles.
You can make a post about things how are often see during the Tour
Some say the best things in life, are one the inside.
You felt like yelling "DID YOU HEAR ABOUT RICCO" ...
... to any person in Spandex you saw over the last 48 hours
Ricco stole my marbles.
You have nightly nightmares that you are on a road side in France...
...and you missed the peloton ride by because you were in the port-a-potty
You're watching the premier of Burn Notice
which is sponsored by SAAB and start screaming when the “for the perfect balance of performance and efficiency” comes on.















![This is funny on so many levels. [Html should open bigger]](http://cdn3.sbnation.com/fan_shot_images/239959/flagged_small.jpg)


