New Year's Resolution Time
by Jen See on Jan 8, 2009 6:52 PM EST
in Cafe Happy Hour!
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PrintHow about some silliness for a Thursday afternoon? I got a full espresso, an internet connection, and nothing to do.
Write a New Year's resolution for your favorite cyclist. If you do not have a favorite cyclist, one will be provided for you. If you are your favorite cyclist, purchase several mirrors so as to gaze often on your awesome-ness. Then, seek help.
A few to get started.
• Signor Basso resolves not to mix blood cells with his blood cells. (Eh, cheap shot, I know. I'll try harder on the next one.)
• Daniele Bennati resolves to travel to California to meet his crazed, but harmless, American tifosi. No hottitude will be harmed in this expedition. (Another easy one. You're slacking Gav, you're slacking.)
• Gilberto Simoni resolves not to call Damiano Cunego any names. At least, not in public. This prohibition does not extend to robots or extraterrestrials, however. (Better?)
• Thomas Dekker will go Green this year. In an effort to conserve precious resources, he will use less oil in future photo shoots.
Yours?
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Cadel Evans
resolves to not let the stress get to him,so he will start meditating and always travel with his favorite stuffed animal to help ease his anxieties…. (hey it’s not as easy as it looks)
leenoos
will smile more in photos this year. And will not change teams again until uh, well, next year.
Cyclingnews resolves to become more like Velonews
I just read this beauty on a Milram feature on CN
Ralf Grabsch rode professionally from 1996 to 20008
Back to the future I guess
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Yes although CN also plans to have
a different look coming, so pez is a little behind….so far though CN looks exactly the same.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
And the news is now colored purple
although personally I don’t mind the layout of cn, I think it is pretty easy to navigate and find dtuff on there.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
I said easy to find stuff(well actually I said dtuff but that was typo)
I didn’t say their design was updated
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Apparently they will be adding a new improved search function.
About time. Finally we might be able to locate the Benna photos we crave without having to jump through several hoops via Google!
After being named on the worst dressed list, Fabian Cancellera burned his white damask suit and resolves to always
contact the PdC fashion experts before making any decisions for an awards ceremony
My Theory?
She bought the suit, and he was under the thumb and had to wear it. or he wasn’t getting lucky again.
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
I've only ever seen his wife wear white
In every photo.
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
I'm not so sure...
that there is a dress code for deities.
[I was watching ’07 TdF stg3 last night… it still gives me goosebumps…]
F. Schleck resolves not to
obtain training recommendations from gynecologists, just coaches. (Overpriced training recommendations at that.)
One that will never come true
cycling.tv resolves to fix all of their technical problems after finally realizing that we are now in the 21st century.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Well it's actually the 8th already
and I’m sure most peoples resolutions have already been broken by now.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
These resolutions are fun
one has already come true, that would be ….Team Columbia resolves to continue to spread their anti-doping message by changing their jerseys to look as close to the Saunier-Duval’s old jersey’s……….umm I don’t know exactly how that works but I’m sure Stapelton does.
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
very good
They do look oddly alike, don’t they? Another theory: Hincapie Sportswear had just got the contract to make Saunier Duval’s team kit, and ended up stuck with a lot of custom fabric. “C’mon guys—yellow and black rocks!”
Google is my domestique.
and as a side note...
gianetti’s new team is blue. so like columbia and gianetti totally traded. uh, can i get a refund?
I just puked a little
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
actually, that's slightly better than I feared
More black and white on the sides, not mostly gray and yellow. Not beautiful, no. But usefully distinctive.
That doesn't look so bad...
… it will go good with all the little golden fur Lions Cav will be holding come July :)
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.
Not hating it as much now that I see thw black back but still withholding 100% of judgement
until we see it in all its glory, which would of course be on George’s body.
But one good point – the “important” exposure areas are black so someone over there has been paying attention to our please.
Anyone know if black also figures on the back of the jersey?
Kinda silly, for hot days in summer…
Maybe it’ll look like this:
http://somethingscrawlinginmyhair.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/ichneumon2unprocessed.jpg
Whoa! I just noticed that lead bike has fenders!!!
I bet their high-tech carbon fiber and cost waay more than any cycling gear I own, too.
You're kidding about the zip-ties aren't you?
A ten grand bike held together with bits of string?
Found on the beach in Hawaii, on a scrap of yellow stationery
I resolve to:
Crush everyone and everything standing between me and an 8th Tour win—yeah, Bertie, that means you
Team up with Basso in the Giro and grind those young punks into powder—then leave B. broken and crying by the side of the road from the power of my final acceleration
Support whomever is the strongest rider on my team, whoever I am it is. After all, it’s all about the message: I was the greatest cyclist ever cancer must be beaten like a little Spanish girlyman
Google is my domestique.
by majope on Jan 8, 2009 8:44 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Brilliant!
"If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don't go for it, you definitely won't win."
~ Jens Voigt
Dekker's resolutions
January 1: Take more risks! This six-day thing I’m starting tomorrow is going to be a blast—I might do six-days the whole off season next year. Hey, Zabel did it even when he was old, not young like me, so I’m sure I’m going to do just fine.
January 2: Well, maybe I’ll just do a few next year. A little harder than I thought, but I’ll get the hang of it. Must tell Jens that I’ll get less fan mail if he actually manages to pull off one of my arms. Ha!
January 3: Resolved: learn how this madison thing works, even if it takes me the whole night on the internet. How can the Crown Prince of Dutch Cycling be down by 11 laps after only two days?? Never been more humiliated in my life, but we’ll catch up.
January 4: Can no longer move arm. Jens must die. Resolved: less beer. It really doesn’t help the pain. Must call team doctor and see if there’s anything legal that will help.
January 5: Fuck it. I’m calling Boonen.
January 6: Round. Round and round. Lights. Lights dancing across my eyes. I swear I hear bagpipes. I have to go back out there now? Oh, God. It hurts. Make it stop. If I live, I am never setting wheel on track again, I swear it.
January 7: STANDUPSTANDUPSTANDUPFORTHECHAMPIONSSTANDUPSTANDUP
STANDUPFORTHECHAMPIONSSTANDUPSTANDUPSTANDUPFORTHECHAMPIONS
STANDUPSTANDUPSTANDUPFORTHECHAMPIONSSTANDUPSTANDUPSTANDUP
FORTHECHAMPIONSSTANDUPSTANDUPSTANDUPSTANDUPSTANDUPSTANDUP
STANDSTANDSTANDSTANDSTANDSTANDSTANSTANSTANSTANSTASTASTASTASTS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Google is my domestique.
George Hincapie will
NOT fall, break equipment, get stuck at a railroad crossing, or otherwise fall victim to ANY bad luck, thus winning Paris-Roubaix in 2009.
Leif Hoste resolves to stop his spastic arm waving and starts taking
fro now on he will be known as |o|
\o/ is going to start "taking fro"?
Is that what the kids are calling it now-a-days?
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.
George Hincapie resolves
to avoid breaking bones, puncturing tires, snapping steering columns, or any other such nonsense that prevents him from his glory in Roubaix.
(cg beat me to it by seconds but I reiterate.)
George Hincapie also resolves to never ever wear that horrid yellow thing his DS is calling a team kit.
you're fishing for a rehash of those nasty pix
of the chicken or of ricco, and we’re just NOT going to do that, are we?
as long as it's not that one
of brakovic at lombardia, or the auschwitz survivor one of the almost naked spanish cyclists from several years ago, I’m ok . . .
Philippe Gilbert will consult with CycleGirl
on his 2010 schedule, in order to ensure his races fall in line with her holiday plans.
Dito Dekker.
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
Frank Schleck will make good on his question to CycleGirl.
C’mon Frank you asked me to marry you, where’s my ring…hahaha
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
Alejandro Valverde resolves....
to put three full weeks together and win a GT …..then fly to California to visit his fav fan -smile-
Quit chuckling Lyne….it can happen!!
ditto
"Wizard's first rule. People are stupid. They will believe anything they want to be true or fear to be true." -- Terry Goodkind
OK another Milram Photo Good Hair/Bad Hair
But Hair again Linus….
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
Sorry
But there is something mildly erotic about that photo.
Bork, bork, bork!
by TheFigurehead on Jan 9, 2009 4:28 AM EST up reply actions
Eh?
I just see the start of a couple of Bobby Charltons. Combover nursery.
Don't mention the combovers
It’s a touchy subject with the hotitude-crowd.
(I did it once but I think I got away with it.)
Carlos Sastre - Tour de France winner - Born From Jets
What we really need to find
is a shot of Bennati with a zit.
My conspiracy-theory
is that a secret society, The International Sisterhood of Bennatistas, has infiltrated every website and photoshopped all existing photos so that he always appears to have perfect, silky smooth olive skin.
Carlos Sastre - Tour de France winner - Born From Jets
you ladies need to watch out the stalker cops are watching.
by Christopher See on Jan 9, 2009 11:51 AM EST up reply actions
I expect
there’s a picture in his attic, growing more and more foul every day.
Google is my domestique.
Back to the Milram pic...
Bob over at Cycleto has great photos of the new Milram kit and he called them a “herd of Milram.” Lordy, I laughed so hard I hurt myself; can we add that to our lexicaon?
Thanks Ruthann
best yuck of the morning so far
Sometimes I wonder...why is that Frisbee getting bigger?...and then it hits me.
I too see all-boy porn viddy cover
The hand placed just so, facial expressions, guy #3 to the side looking at the camera. Don’t think I better google for an example here at the Denver airport, tho.
That would arguably make a hotter cover than actual cycling porn.
And, please. We’re supposed to believe this guy is a cyclist? He’d never get up a hill carrying all that upper-body weight. Sheesh. Bet they didn’t even bother to shave his legs.
Google is my domestique.
Pffft.
You do notice the word “classic” on the first cover? Right up there with Breaking Away and American Flyers.
Google is my domestique.
Perreiro Sio resolves,
To learn to fly without auxiliaries or to stop driving of cliffs. But maybe a parachute in his cycling costume would be an option too. Choices, choices…
You are waaay out of line
“• Signor Basso resolves not to mix blood cells with his blood cells.”
Obviously what you meant to say was “• Signor Basso resolves not to plan to mix blood cells with his blood cells.”
Carlos Sastre - Tour de France winner - Born From Jets
Good point!
Him nor his dog or his friend or any other relatives and relations shall have any such intentions!
Various nameless cyclists resolve to
name their blood bags after the hamster in future. The dog was too obvious.
Heh. How about not naming them after anything that can be remotely connected to said cyclist. Ah, duh.
Hamsters can still be traced.
Filippo Pozzato,
after seeing the nasty photos from the Katusha training camp, resolves to cease purchasing hair gel from that little corner shop just off Red Square. He will in future have it sent from Veneto where the manufacturers know what they’re doing.
The Accountant resolves...
… to find some other Italian punk into who’s grill he can jam a banana or two.
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.
Jimmy Casper resolves
to win another stage of the Tour de France, and to capture yet another prestigious Lanterne Rouge title which, with the retirement of three time Tour de France Lanterne Rouge winner Wim Vansevenant, is well within the range of talent of Mr. Casper.
Sometimes I wonder...why is that Frisbee getting bigger?...and then it hits me.
Tom Boonen resolves
not to start celebrating before he gets to the white line…the one on the ground that is.
But it was funny
and Dito, Tom is one of my favourite hotties, but because of his stupid line sniffing, i missed out on seeing him at the TdF, so he messed up my Holidays… BUt hey this april, he better be ready :-)
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950
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