Since his retirement, a 70 year-old man has done little other than steal bikes and resell them. The government finally caught him but his tally was up to 873 stolen vélos. Nice. His punishment? 2 years probation and he has to pay back taxes amounting to 45,000 euros on his illicit bike sales.

Moral of the story? 1) If you're going to steal bikes, do it in Switzerland. And 2) don't let any 70 year-olds get too close to your new Pinarello.