An Ardennes Haiku

by Chris Fontecchio on Apr 17, 2009 3:17 PM EDT in News

Côte, Berg, Mur: in any language
the Ardennes ascents
still hurt like hell.

Show me what you got.

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Comments

haiku = 5/7/5

no? still, I enjoyed it.

by Merry Crankster on Apr 17, 2009 3:22 PM EDT reply actions

picky

that’s the old-skool version. I just take the 17 and spread em around.

CQRanking.com, you complete me.

by Chris Fontecchio on Apr 17, 2009 4:59 PM EDT up reply actions

haiku for Davide

Amstel, Fleche, and Liege
Rebellin rides one more time.
Triple crown again?

by Merry Crankster on Apr 17, 2009 3:27 PM EDT reply actions

Lets see,

You see all those climbs?
They separate the Ardennes
from the cobbled classics.

Brooklyn Chewing Gum: Vlaanderens Mooiste

by Koppenberg on Apr 17, 2009 3:32 PM EDT reply actions

I like the Ardennes
Even though the Italians
win most of the time

"Sean Kelly? Sorry, I am not so good with cycling history. I just want to race." --Edvald Boasson Hagen

by majope on Apr 17, 2009 3:36 PM EDT reply actions

here

Ciolek falls splat
J-Rod works for Valverde
Drunk fans don’t notice

by ursula on Apr 17, 2009 3:43 PM EDT reply actions

In the Netherlands
Wind blown cyclists climb quickly
To win the beer race

by William H on Apr 17, 2009 4:06 PM EDT reply actions

Seeking victory
arrow of wallonia
flys up the steep mur

by William H on Apr 17, 2009 4:18 PM EDT up reply actions

Hey that's a nice one!

Beauty.

"....Up Sestriere on a rental clunker in jeans and loafers? Brother, lemme buy you a beer."

by Rolls on Apr 17, 2009 4:21 PM EDT up reply actions

A race in Holland
is one where someone steals first
Rabo come second

Moreover, it is my opinion that Alejandro Valverde is an asshole who should not be allowed to compete in bikeraces right now.

by Jens on Apr 17, 2009 4:09 PM EDT reply actions

Who can’t steal first. Duh.

Who is already at first,
What to be, Rabo?

by thisisntthezodiac on Apr 17, 2009 4:24 PM EDT up reply actions

These bergs hold hard bite
These winds too hold roaring bark
Perhaps Puppy wins

"....Up Sestriere on a rental clunker in jeans and loafers? Brother, lemme buy you a beer."

by Rolls on Apr 17, 2009 4:14 PM EDT reply actions

Nuts

Nuts, the Germans learned,
Wegman, It’s hard to attack,
Liege-Bastogne, nuts

General McAuliffe when asked to surrender Bastogne: “Nuts!”

formerly known as cyclingchallenge

by Willj on Apr 17, 2009 4:25 PM EDT reply actions

+1

by ursula on Apr 17, 2009 4:29 PM EDT up reply actions

No disrespect meant

I am a big Wegman fan (and read a lot of history)

formerly known as cyclingchallenge

by Willj on Apr 17, 2009 5:02 PM EDT up reply actions

Funny, i'm just reading the Amstel-piece on PEZ

and looking at his picture I found myself thinking that Wegmann is a guy who really deserves a big win soon. Hard to not like a guy who rides with so much heart.

Moreover, it is my opinion that Alejandro Valverde is an asshole who should not be allowed to compete in bikeraces right now.

by Jens on Apr 17, 2009 5:06 PM EDT up reply actions

yes, he's an exciting rider

just a little bit short of greatness (so far)

formerly known as cyclingchallenge

by Willj on Apr 17, 2009 5:29 PM EDT up reply actions

Are his legs really that little

I can’t quite figure out why he looks so short. Unless you cheated by tilting him forwards.

by Monty. on Apr 17, 2009 5:34 PM EDT up reply actions

I can’t quite figure out why he looks so short.

I am huge

formerly known as cyclingchallenge

by Willj on Apr 17, 2009 5:37 PM EDT up reply actions

I’ll just wait for Ryan to appear and tell me exactly how tall you are, what size shoes you wear, how long your femur is, what angle your elbow works best at and how often you should shave your legs for optimal wind resistance on that particular bike.

by Monty. on Apr 17, 2009 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions

No beach? No half-clothed
lean brown cyclists? Oh, hell—that’s
Amstel Curacao.

"Sean Kelly? Sorry, I am not so good with cycling history. I just want to race." --Edvald Boasson Hagen

by majope on Apr 17, 2009 4:26 PM EDT reply actions

Them poor boys.

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 4:42 PM EDT up reply actions

Hahaha!

We so need to go to Curacao this year….

by Albertina on Apr 17, 2009 5:10 PM EDT up reply actions

very nice

by plinytheelder on Apr 17, 2009 9:55 PM EDT up reply actions

Hmmm...

Shit, I got nothin’
Had a late night with Jimbo
Awake by Sunday

Dude... why WOULDN'T Thor ride the chicken?

by crashdan on Apr 17, 2009 4:26 PM EDT reply actions

Oh, Emilia
Spend a late night with Jimbo
Poor substitute was

Moreover, it is my opinion that Alejandro Valverde is an asshole who should not be allowed to compete in bikeraces right now.

by Jens on Apr 17, 2009 4:44 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

Emilia

you don’t know what you’re missing…

More Muur...

by Jimbo... on Apr 18, 2009 12:09 AM EDT up reply actions

Overdone:

Potent promises
Of golden beer ought to force
Racers to ride fast.

Daggered stare-downs ’twixt
Favorites leads feted field
To drown their sorrows.

Victory denied
To hungry Lottomen when
Dekker bonked on berg.

Cadel, where have you
Been? Wheelsucking so that I
Am declined the win.

Which skinny Schleck will
Fail to outsprint froth-mouthéd
Frenzied climbers? Both.

Cunego of bleached
Locks stands lower than others
On podium steps.

If Garmin grabs win
Will Vaughters forbid them beer
For it be “unfine.”

Beware those clothed
In black, be they from Caisse
or new Cervélo.

If old Tintin wins
All podium hottitude
Sadly disappears.

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 4:41 PM EDT reply actions

Nicely done!

Love the skinny Schleck one in particular.

"Sean Kelly? Sorry, I am not so good with cycling history. I just want to race." --Edvald Boasson Hagen

by majope on Apr 17, 2009 4:45 PM EDT up reply actions

Now what would happen if Frank and Andy have to sprint against each other for the win?

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 4:51 PM EDT up reply actions

"Andy, remember that time Dad asked where you were...

and I said you were over at Grandma’s? You owe me, bro."

"Sean Kelly? Sorry, I am not so good with cycling history. I just want to race." --Edvald Boasson Hagen

by majope on Apr 17, 2009 5:18 PM EDT up reply actions

Then again they could come across the line together...

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 6:33 PM EDT up reply actions

+1

although I hate to see Cervelo linked to Caisse. Especially for wearing black.

by Monty. on Apr 17, 2009 5:37 PM EDT up reply actions

They're just different types of danger.

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 6:32 PM EDT up reply actions

Jebus!

That be good stuff

Moreover, it is my opinion that Alejandro Valverde is an asshole who should not be allowed to compete in bikeraces right now.

by Jens on Apr 17, 2009 4:47 PM EDT up reply actions

Danke.

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 4:50 PM EDT up reply actions

+1

formerly known as cyclingchallenge

by Willj on Apr 17, 2009 4:54 PM EDT up reply actions

What a tour de force!

by Albertina on Apr 17, 2009 5:11 PM EDT up reply actions

More like...

Tour de BS.

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 6:35 PM EDT up reply actions

har!

by plinytheelder on Apr 17, 2009 9:56 PM EDT up reply actions

+9

Viva la Lactique

by nrs5000 on Apr 17, 2009 6:16 PM EDT up reply actions

lol, awesome

Alas, poor Rebellin, he will never win the hottitudde classification.

by Jen See on Apr 17, 2009 6:28 PM EDT up reply actions

Alas indeed...

He is in a class of his own like Chickenman.

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 6:32 PM EDT up reply actions

Btw, just noticed

love the sig line :-)

by Jen See on Apr 17, 2009 6:33 PM EDT up reply actions

Finally someone noticed!

Too bad I have no Snuggie prizes to give away…

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 6:34 PM EDT up reply actions

lol, that's okay

Getting to be Spring/Summer in Cali – too warm for Snuggies ;-)

by Jen See on Apr 17, 2009 6:46 PM EDT up reply actions

If there were prizes, how about Champ Bear?

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 7:01 PM EDT up reply actions

lol :-)

The sideways cap, so makes it.

by Jen See on Apr 17, 2009 7:03 PM EDT up reply actions

And not the fact that

wherever he walks he leaves a little trail of hearts

by Monty. on Apr 17, 2009 7:05 PM EDT up reply actions

Don't forget the wee little heart on his derriere.

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 19, 2009 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions

I totally had that bear as a kid!

Sadly, no sideways cap though.

by celerity on Apr 18, 2009 6:16 AM EDT up reply actions

Care bears!

I had so forgotten about them! I had a yellow one, once upon a time….

by Albertina on Apr 18, 2009 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions

Did it's name start with an "A" too?

Dude... why WOULDN'T Thor ride the chicken?

by crashdan on Apr 18, 2009 4:00 PM EDT up reply actions

For sure. It was called Athanasius.

by Albertina on Apr 18, 2009 6:34 PM EDT up reply actions

I bet

that while your friends were hosting teddy bear tea parties, you were secretly using yours to reenact the seven ecumenical councils

by Monty. on Apr 19, 2009 6:57 AM EDT up reply actions

Hahaha!

You seem to know me so well…..vicar’s daughters are strange beings ;-)

by Albertina on Apr 19, 2009 7:23 AM EDT up reply actions

I can picture it now

He’s not stored on top of the wardrobe, that’s Simeon Stylites.

by Monty. on Apr 19, 2009 7:34 AM EDT up reply actions

Very cool

a magnum opus

by Steno on Apr 19, 2009 1:13 AM EDT up reply actions

This is what happens when lapsed English/Literature majors have time to bullshit.

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 19, 2009 8:05 PM EDT up reply actions

Cobbles are Ended!
Cheer Euskaltel-Euskadi
Hoste weeps softly

by William H on Apr 17, 2009 4:49 PM EDT reply actions

Gora Basque Boyz
Rejoicing in green mountains
Samu takes the txapela?

by Albertina on Apr 17, 2009 5:18 PM EDT up reply actions

Woops, too many syllables...it's Friday night....I've had wine

by Albertina on Apr 17, 2009 5:19 PM EDT up reply actions

Danger in the grape!
Albertina’s haiku wrecked
by one glass too much

"Sean Kelly? Sorry, I am not so good with cycling history. I just want to race." --Edvald Boasson Hagen

by majope on Apr 17, 2009 5:23 PM EDT up reply actions

this one made me truly laugh out loud

You may very well think that; I couldn't possibly comment.

by nicknorco on Apr 17, 2009 8:32 PM EDT up reply actions

Oui, very funny, and exactly right......

I slept for 12 hours last night!

by Albertina on Apr 18, 2009 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions

Climby Euskie hordes
Rejoice for lack of cobbles
Glory is orange

by Albertina on Apr 17, 2009 5:23 PM EDT up reply actions

Albertina dear
Tricky does the Haiku get
Mixing basque and wine

Moreover, it is my opinion that Alejandro Valverde is an asshole who should not be allowed to compete in bikeraces right now.

by Jens on Apr 17, 2009 5:25 PM EDT up reply actions

lol

Distracted I got
By exciting pelota
On ETB Sat

Wine, pelota, verse
I know now they do not mix
Tough it is to multi task

by Albertina on Apr 17, 2009 5:32 PM EDT up reply actions

Oh no! I just did it wrong again!

I think I’d better go to bed now…….

by Albertina on Apr 17, 2009 5:33 PM EDT up reply actions

and this one

You may very well think that; I couldn't possibly comment.

by nicknorco on Apr 17, 2009 8:33 PM EDT up reply actions

SaminSane speeds down
Banshee on a brace of wheels
But Cauberg goes up

by Uncle Ted on Apr 17, 2009 5:15 PM EDT reply actions

+1

CQRanking.com, you complete me.

by Chris Fontecchio on Apr 17, 2009 11:05 PM EDT up reply actions

just to be contrary

The Cobbles leaders
Now must fulfill their duty
by carrying water.

by jsallee00 on Apr 17, 2009 5:27 PM EDT reply actions

crap

math is hard

by jsallee00 on Apr 17, 2009 5:27 PM EDT up reply actions

;)

I am just glad we are asked to do haiku

Iambic pentameter? now that would be difficult

formerly known as cyclingchallenge

by Willj on Apr 17, 2009 5:33 PM EDT up reply actions

it shouldn't be that hard to count to five

it’s not like I’m missing any fingers…

by jsallee00 on Apr 17, 2009 5:37 PM EDT up reply actions

nice theme regardless

Viva la Lactique

by nrs5000 on Apr 17, 2009 6:17 PM EDT up reply actions

Rules

Shmules. I lived in Japan…

Dear Japan,

You have too many rules. Please eliminate three of them.

CQRanking.com, you complete me.

by Chris Fontecchio on Apr 17, 2009 11:07 PM EDT up reply actions

lol, very hard

which is why haiku it totally beyond my abilities.

by Jen See on Apr 17, 2009 6:28 PM EDT up reply actions

I doubt that.

Modesty is nice though.

"....Up Sestriere on a rental clunker in jeans and loafers? Brother, lemme buy you a beer."

by Rolls on Apr 17, 2009 7:28 PM EDT up reply actions

My head hangs today
for the first American
who won L-B-L

"Sean Kelly? Sorry, I am not so good with cycling history. I just want to race." --Edvald Boasson Hagen

by majope on Apr 17, 2009 5:30 PM EDT reply actions

+1

formerly known as cyclingchallenge

by Willj on Apr 17, 2009 5:35 PM EDT up reply actions

I didn't see that one before I wrote mine.

Go in peace, Tyler.

Get better!

Racing for Victory and Free Beer!

by DemonCats on Apr 17, 2009 9:27 PM EDT up reply actions

Beaten cyclist
Struggles over rainy hills
Race already lost

by William H on Apr 17, 2009 5:59 PM EDT reply actions

Beautiful

Valiant he is
Sad his fate makes me. And still
my spirit he lifts

Moreover, it is my opinion that Alejandro Valverde is an asshole who should not be allowed to compete in bikeraces right now.

by Jens on Apr 17, 2009 6:10 PM EDT up reply actions

Ahh...

Like Yoda you speak
Good you look, in blue and gold
Too bad you’re from Norge

Dude... why WOULDN'T Thor ride the chicken?

by crashdan on Apr 17, 2009 7:12 PM EDT up reply actions

can't resist

When 800 years
You reach look you this good youl
Will not young Jedi

Viva la Lactique

by nrs5000 on Apr 17, 2009 7:18 PM EDT up reply actions

Another typo
Where is the edit button
Please Sports Blog Nation

Viva la Lactique

by nrs5000 on Apr 17, 2009 7:20 PM EDT up reply actions

Tall, blonde, and Swedish
beat that for a chat up line
Mr motorbike man

by Monty. on Apr 17, 2009 7:24 PM EDT up reply actions

Unlike Swedes, I don’t
have to rely upon my
looks. I am German.

Dude... why WOULDN'T Thor ride the chicken?

by crashdan on Apr 17, 2009 8:04 PM EDT up reply actions

Short and Italian
yet still I have succeeded
my rule: learn to cook.

CQRanking.com, you complete me.

by Chris Fontecchio on Apr 17, 2009 11:14 PM EDT up reply actions

Cooking is vital
knowing what you look like in
your Rock Racing kit

Dude... why WOULDN'T Thor ride the chicken?

by crashdan on Apr 17, 2009 11:19 PM EDT up reply actions

and....

we’re done.

CQRanking.com, you complete me.

by Chris Fontecchio on Apr 18, 2009 1:25 AM EDT up reply actions

That's only four syllables

Dude... why WOULDN'T Thor ride the chicken?

by crashdan on Apr 18, 2009 1:52 AM EDT up reply actions

Dios mio man
That is bush league psych-out stuff
It’s laughable man

Moreover, it is my opinion that Alejandro Valverde is an asshole who should not be allowed to compete in bikeraces right now.

by Jens on Apr 18, 2009 2:30 AM EDT up reply actions

har!

by plinytheelder on Apr 17, 2009 9:58 PM EDT up reply actions

Traffic furniture
Descending steep berg or cote
Watch out Mister Schleck.

Viva la Lactique

by nrs5000 on Apr 17, 2009 6:21 PM EDT reply actions

Awesome!

Mon coeur appartient à les forçats de la route.

by Josenka on Apr 17, 2009 6:36 PM EDT up reply actions

Tommeke doodsmak
Haussler on vacation too
Wake me in July

by samboo on Apr 17, 2009 7:33 PM EDT reply actions

Remember Tyler
winning La Doyenne. Solo.
How many here smiled?

Racing for Victory and Free Beer!

by DemonCats on Apr 17, 2009 9:25 PM EDT reply actions

my white shorts are wet
rainy squishy and so wet
man these shorts are wet

by plinytheelder on Apr 17, 2009 9:59 PM EDT reply actions

BAD image there....

by Albertina on Apr 18, 2009 2:52 PM EDT up reply actions

just thought up another!

got me some black socks
putting on my high black socks
goin’ for a road ride

by plinytheelder on Apr 18, 2009 7:17 PM EDT up reply actions

Don't remind me....the shame!

by Albertina on Apr 19, 2009 7:24 AM EDT up reply actions

snort

And now, a stink joke:
What smells worse than Limburger?
The Cauberg.

by Steno on Apr 18, 2009 2:16 AM EDT reply actions

meant to say

And now, a stink joke:
What smells worse than Limburger?
The Cauberg, moron.

by Steno on Apr 18, 2009 2:19 AM EDT up reply actions

race report by william blake

WALLONIE WONDER
SHOOTS ARROWS OF DESIRE FROM
CHARIOT OF FIRE!

by Steno on Apr 18, 2009 2:31 AM EDT reply actions

yes!

CQRanking.com, you complete me.

by Chris Fontecchio on Apr 18, 2009 5:27 PM EDT up reply actions

oopsies!

Mom! I won Bastogne!
No, baby, you gotta go
back to Liege now.

by Steno on Apr 18, 2009 2:51 AM EDT reply actions

:-D

Moreover, it is my opinion that Alejandro Valverde is an asshole who should not be allowed to compete in bikeraces right now.

by Jens on Apr 18, 2009 3:02 AM EDT up reply actions

hehe

formerly known as cyclingchallenge

by Willj on Apr 18, 2009 3:31 AM EDT up reply actions

funny

by Monty. on Apr 18, 2009 4:53 AM EDT up reply actions

lol

CQRanking.com, you complete me.

by Chris Fontecchio on Apr 18, 2009 5:27 PM EDT up reply actions

Frank Schleck can not sprint
past Cunego, Valverde
he must win alone

by mysterion on Apr 18, 2009 4:39 AM EDT reply actions

Yesterday

Blue sea, green mountains
Riders attack, are brought back
Hard fought Turkish Tour

Loosli throws his bike
Stopped three times after a crash
Impey in Yellow

Hondo celebrates
but much too prematurely
Finetto takes it

Roubaix

Grey skinned bike riders,
mud covered, bruised and bloody,
most beautiful race?

Don’t compose Haiku
just before going to bed,
very hard to stop.

by William H on Apr 18, 2009 5:53 AM EDT reply actions

cannot write Haiku
that betters humour quotient
of entries above

You may very well think that; I couldn't possibly comment.

by nicknorco on Apr 18, 2009 9:48 AM EDT reply actions

Much though I love you guys....

you’re all starting to scare me slightly….

Kidding…haiku are not the easiest things to compose – tell me again why we do these things?

Roll on Sunday and Amstel Gold (not that this has been one of the races that has caught the eye of Aussies, on the whole, given that we are sadly lacking in European racing….

"If winning isn't everything, then why do they keep score?" Unknown

by Jodes67 on Apr 18, 2009 11:13 AM EDT reply actions