Some people will roll their eyes--doesn't everyone know this crap? Um...based on recent evidence? No comment.

Note that this is not about weakening an opinion. It's about a) not projecting onto others and b) not claiming that our opinion is fact. "I loathe kitties and puppies and Lance with a deep personal antipathy, and every word or yip or mew they produce grates on my brainstem"--that's an "I" statement, and no-one can (or rather, no-one should) challenge your right to have, and state, that visceral reaction.

"You must be nuts to hate apple pie or Cance's butt"--that's a you statement. And innocuous though it looks, it may rub the wrong way if someone is diabetic, or gluten-intolerant, or on a diet, or just doesn't like...apple pie.

If someone's wrong on a fact, correct that fact. If someone's "wrong" on tone, it's harder to correct. They may know that they commonly piss people off, but not have any sense that their conversational patterns are triggering the problem.

In general, remember to

a) speak for yourself, not for "people" or "everyone" or your state / country. Or at least, don't confuse the two.

b) avoid telling other people what's going on inside their heads or second guessing their motivations.If people wanted free, unsolicited psychoanalysis via blog post, they'd be logging in to ShrinkCafe.

c) distinguish between discussions (or attacks, even) on riders and discussions (or attacks) on people posting on this board.

d) if you use a rhetorical device or phrase that can be misread as an insult, and someone gets insulted, don't tell them they're idiots for being insulted. Re-read to see what you said and correct it, or go with "I said that badly, no insult intended."

e) de-escalation means you win.

f) White unicorn has sweetness. Black unicorn has wit. Embody one or the other most of the time, and much will be forgiven.