Unofficial 2009 Tour de France Podium Cafe Awards
by crashdan on Jul 29, 2009 1:17 PM EDT
in Cafe Happy Hour!
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The time to celebrate the achievement of Alberto Contador, Thor Hushovd and Franco Ppeelliizzoottii has arrived; But let us also consider some of the other awards that we, the fans of the Tour and members of the Podium Cafe, could see fit to award to various people who have come to our attention over the course of Le Tour.
updated: now with even MORE FRS Energy hatred
Most Ravenous Fan Award
Winner: bradBordeaux - It's something of a counter-award, but seriously, there is no confusing where he stands on the issue of Mark Cavendish. You don't like this choice? Bah! Go make your own awards.
Runner Up: Majope - Oh, you thought this was all about the riders, right? Nope, Majope is a 100% full blooded fan of statistics. It's an unholy love, but it's one we treasure around here.
Honorable Mention: Frinking - Nominated for his being such a huge fan of the English language. I think there's probably only one way that Frinky will feel about this, he'll be feverished, or the way you want to spell it. Last year, the honorable mention went to ElvisGoat for his passionate defense of the 2008 Green Jersey winner. How's that working out for you in 2009 Goaty?
HTFU Award
Winner: George Hincapie - This dude fractured his collar bone on Stage 17 and finished it. Then he finished Stages 18, 19, 20 and 21 too. Finally I know what Hincapie means in French: "grinta"! Rumor has it, he and Jens! have decided to create and race stages 22 and 23 as well.
Runner Up: Jens! - I know that all of you probably think that Jens! should go in the top spot, but in the end, his injuries were simply too extensive to allow him to even proceed despite them. Big ups to Jens! though for using his face as a paving tool.
Honorable Mention: Sven Krauss - still gets honorable mention status in 2009 for what he did in 2008.
Biggest Douche Award
Winner: Marc Sergeant - That's two years in a row big boy, way to continually field a disjointed team that couldn't possibly support your GC threat. Do you realize that without Cadel Evans, I would have been just as surprised to find out your team was at The Tour de France as I was to find out you guys were at the Giro? Your sponsor must love you.
Runner up: Di Luca - There's a special spot in hell reserved for people I don't like, that convince me to like them, then turn out to have been cheating to get me to like them. You and Ricco can go sit in that oubliette and hopefully you'll get to see your own fame wash away from the memory of those around you.
Honorable Mention: Ever single swinging dick that thought they could come into the Cafe and sling their hate filled lingo. You all know where the exit is, we have no trouble throwing you through it again, and again, and again.
Most Quoted Movie in Comments Award
Winner: The Big Lebowski - obviously, this award is locked up nearly in perpetuity, but that's ok, I can get you an award... hell, I can get you an award by three o'clock.
Runner Up: The Big Lebowski - come on, every other movie was mentioned in passing, maybe once or twice. Lebowski shatters the competition here like a bowling ball dropped on a tile floor. How many threads have you seen devolve to the right hand side of your screen with the following sequence of names: Drew, Jimbo, Crashdan, Jens, Jimbo, Drew.
Honorable Mention: Running Man - user Runitout has only been a user for five days now, so I suppose they can be forgiven for being impressed that he can reference Running Man and then have it referenced right back to him within seven minutes. After 9PM no less. Come on, do you think we're amateurs here? Do you think we're last season's losers? Mark it zero, dude!
Most Uncelebrated Rider Award
Winner: Bingen Fernandez Bustinza (Cofidis) - A diligent search through the Podium Cafe reveals that Bustinza was only mentioned once, ONE TIME, in all of 2009! In fact, the only time this guy ever gets mentioned here at all, is in Cofidis team line ups, and that only has happened seven times in the last three years. As with last years winner in this category, Massimiliano Mori, there is so little information to be had about Bingen, that one can't really say anything about his character, his abilities, his personality, etc. One thing is certain: Mr. Bustinza finished 120th in the field of 156 riders to complete the 2009 Tour. Respect
Runner Up: Again, pretty much everyone else got into a breakaway or had someone make a joke about their name... I'm looking at you Jussi and Loosli. I had to look really, really hard to find someone that had skipped everyone's attention, and I think that says alot about how comprehensive the understanding and coverage is around here.
Greatest Unacknowledged Sacrifice Award
Winner: The employers of Podium Cafe members - Seriously, they got a sum total of zero productivity out of us for nearly an entire month (not including classics season, the Giro, Tour build up, and right now as you read this). If they only knew...
Runner Up: Family and Friends - chances are, we weren't as sneaky about our July Passion with them as we were with our employers so the are relegated to being the runners up. Always remember, they are still around... and the Tour isn't. Thanks Friends and Family.
[and yes, that's a shameless cut and paste from last years... it's just as applicable :) ]
Most Annoying Advertisement Award
Winner: Fanarchy - if there is one thing guaranteed to make your ears bleed as bad as a 24 hour Yanni marathon, this show will do it.
Winner: FRS Energy Drink - Will is so completely correct on this, how could I have possibly overlooked it. Some may have found the Fanarchy ads interesting, maybe, or maybe raised an... eyebrow... at the Cadillac Lady... but no one, NOT ONE OF US, has felt anything other than unrelenting hatred for those "Are you tired of being tired" ads. Those have become advertising Kryptonite!
Runners Up: Fanarchy - if there is one thing guaranteed to make your ears bleed as bad as a 24 hour Yanni marathon, this show will do it.
Honorable Mention: Cadillac - No, lady, I do not want to have sex with your car, or look at its ass as you drive away.
Rider with Greatest Increase in Fandom Award
Winner: KENNY VAN HUMMEL! We all hope you're doing well and everyone one of us would be happy to pace you up any climb in your future!
Runner Up: Bradley Wiggins - Twiggo opened a lot of eyes with a climbing prowess we weren't aware he posessed. Also, apparently he trains in the off season like Jan Ullrich devours pretzels.
Most Necessary Technology Award
Winner: Blackberry - My blackberry is my primary alarm clock. Without it, my stage previews would never have made it in on time. That said, hardly any of them ever made it in on time, making my self imposed 9AM deadline a grand total of twice, I think.
Runner Up: SopCast - if you don't know what it is, I ain't gonna tell ya :)
Most Hated Technology Award
Winner: Twitter - We hates it! We haaaates it!
Runner Up: Race Radios- I'm ambivalent, but those that like them seem to just say "yeah, I see a need for them", but those that don't like them, well, wow... tune the station to KHATE, Radio Polemica on the FM dial.
Best New Word Award
Winner: Feverished - PodiumCafe, rebuilding the English language one Dutch guy at a time.
Runner Up: Asshat - although not a new word, it has certainly had new life breathed into it since I posted the "disagreement pyramid" a week or so ago. I chuckle everytime someone uses it now, for some reason. By the way, if anyone was curious what an asshat looks like...
Grinta Award
Winner: Tony - Yellow Jersey, getting in breakaways, dropping back to pace Saxo Bank team members, riding support for Andy. This guy is the full 100% real deal package. Whatever you want in a sports star, you'll find in this guy. Considering that it's almost impossible to take anyone with a Swiss accent seriously, this is saying something.
Runner Up: Lance Armstrong - the simple truth is that once you strip away everything else: the team bs, the twittering, the hype, and just focus on the race itself, you realize that someone that has been away from the sport for three years, just came back and only two months after fracturing his clavicle, rode faster than all but two of the best damn cyclists in the world in the sports premier event.
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Runners Up: Cadillac - No, lady, I do not want to have sex with your car, or look at its ass as you drive away.
bahahahaha, nice
by whistlingmountain on Jul 29, 2009 1:21 PM EDT reply actions
When you think of the lean, streamlined ...
… look of Grand Tour cycling … Cadillac is exactly what comes to mind.
I thought “Saab, Born From Jets” was stretching … until I saw Cadillac, “let’s sell Cadillacs to cycling fans based on how sexy they are”.
that Caddy
has a bigger ass than Tony, and that’s saying something…
"The soul selects her own society then shuts the door" - wise words from Majope
I wake up in the morning
with the caveman song in my head. I hate that song. And as much as I dislike the cavemen, I do think the motorcycle cavemen are very sexy. And I feel sorry kinda for the bowling cavemen. Also I was thinking that, with white shirt and khaki pants as the look, why Bernard Hinault could be a caveman!
Pedaling as fast as I can
On the HTFU front
Surely Kenny deserves an honorable mention, no? How many stages did he ride practically alone to make the time cut?
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
If he had finished the stage to Grand Bornand...
… or however it’s spelled / hyphenated. The Tour’s over; I recycled all the aigus, graves and cedilles I had left over into fire lighters.
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
Fair enough.
He wasn’t unconscious after that crash.
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
We sat around heartbroken in our campervan upon finding out Kenny had abandoned.
Total cult hero.
Adrenalina Italiana!
I believe I was the one who mentioned Bingen
but that was only to ask who the hell he was.
"On a personal level, I have never had admiration for him and I never will"
~AC about LA, me about Johan "drama queen" Bruyneel
A search for "Bingen" reveals a few more...
… but most of them were of the “Who is this guy” variety…
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
I believe I once spoke of Hildegard of Bingen in the context of Senor Fernandez...
Adrenalina Italiana!
About three years ago he wrote a diary at the Vuelta for the daily peloton.
I remember posting about it. I believe it was ‘06 and he commented about how there were fewer and fewer vendors and displays at stages, less excitement. OP sucks. But he really doesn’t do much besides carry water, got a mention for just that on one stage this year.
The first cyclist to stand up to him. And he did it in silence.
How about the "Dude, WTF Award"?
Winner: Carlos Sastre, because…well, because WTF? Little dude’s just fried from riding four consecutive GTs, I guess.
Runnerup: Denis Menchov, who rode like he could use a course at the Frank Schleck School of Bike Handling.
Have you ever considered that?
Man?
Sir?
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
This is our concern Dude.
My strategy of picking bottom podium finishers in all three tours instead of just picking Contador only works when the people I picked, actually step foot on the fucking podium..
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
Is that sort of like comparing a hangnail to accidentally chopping off your hand with an ax?
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
That's what we need in VDS--an element of the bizarre.
Or at least the perfectly random…at least once per season, Chris should draw the name of a Cat 5 stage race out of a hat, and score it as a GT. Take that, all you careful planners!
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
Boonen, WTF were you doing there
Other than proving a point at ASO’s expense?
Jens Voigt doesn’t know where you live, but he knows exactly where you will die.
Thank you for the Fanarchy thumbs down
That’s guys remind me of balloons, you just want to stick a needle in and watch them explode.
Oh c'mon, what is not to like about this guy?
http://fanarchy.versus.com/uploaddir/7ea51c02jerseyjoker.jpg
"On a personal level, I have never had admiration for him and I never will"
~AC about LA, me about Johan "drama queen" Bruyneel
i for one
am glad that we now have a name for our little friend
"Never swing a small stick. " Andy Hampsten
Yes, if we've developed no other information during this year's tour...
… at least now we’ll always have Bluffy.
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
And where does he like to eat? Why
of course.
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
that's his son - duh
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
Serious?!?!! Can you advertise with a big belly in the USA?!!?
Muahahahahaha that makes my day hahaha
I know where he lives.....
BAH!!!!....Cavendish?!
TLP 7.0 Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent
by bradBordeaux on Jul 29, 2009 4:50 PM EDT up reply actions
He can't climb
and he can’t TT or get in a break away…but man can he go downhill like a demon!
Who at Vs. thought
that having a fat guy belittle cycling would get cyclist to watch their show?
by australopithecine on Jul 29, 2009 2:27 PM EDT up reply actions
I suspect it was their Vice President of Consumer Marketing
T. Billdozer
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
^ that pic tells us everything we need to know about jerseysjoker's entertainment options
"Race radios in Cat 4?"
hang on crashdan....while I tweet about you hating the tweeting
…and an honorable mention for the chowchillas please.
As we speek tedvdw records history:
nttawwtWorld first? Rider Thijs Al tweeting live from the race (all right, it’s a post-#tdf crit). RT @thijsal Kopgroep http://mypict.me/fcnp
Yesterday as well, although that was more or less at the gun and no more after that: http://twitter.com/thijsal/status/2894616716
this is a form of communication??
ABRUZZIAM...uh oh
by Chris Fontecchio on Jul 29, 2009 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions
There are *rules* in Post-Tour crits at all?
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
chowchillas? wtf?
"Wizard's first rule. People are stupid. They will believe anything they want to be true or fear to be true." -- Terry Goodkind
yes, that one was quite amusing
"Wizard's first rule. People are stupid. They will believe anything they want to be true or fear to be true." -- Terry Goodkind
You're not even in the top 5
Top 10 yes, but top 5…..those people are professionals.
;-)
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
No, but biggest asshat probably
"On a personal level, I have never had admiration for him and I never will"
~AC about LA, me about Johan "drama queen" Bruyneel
well I do have a rather large posterior
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jul 29, 2009 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions
hey speaking of douches that cadillac commercial reference reminded me of that other commercial “welcome to the new cool” or whatever it was ;)
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jul 29, 2009 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions
"The New Hotness"
from CTV… the one you had to listen to 5 gazillion times while trying to get a connection… I think that the brown jersey definitely goes to that new cadillac commercial. But I kind of like the lady. Mrrrreowww.
She always reminds me of that old joke:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says “hey, why the long face?”
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
Do you know what it's like to have your heart shot out of season...
… and have it strapped to the hood of a car?
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar
and the bartender says “Why the long face?”
Pedaling as fast as I can
Exactly
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
But us dudes ain't the target audience for that ad
It’s cougars . . . or cougar wannabes.
Any want to ‘fess up about whether it worked for ya’ll
you'd never catch me in a Cadillac. I drive a Subaru.
and if I chose to do so I am the perfect cougar age.
by ZoeRochelle on Jul 30, 2009 12:16 PM EDT up reply actions
I think the proper word is
Dame. See my post in this regard in another thread.
:-)
Sometimes you have to give luck a kick in the balls - Jens Voigt
Pliny the Younger.....now there was a douche!
oh and for the record…Bah Cavendish!
BAH!!!!....Cavendish?!
TLP 7.0 Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent
by bradBordeaux on Jul 29, 2009 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions
hehe
yeah these young up-and-comers think they know it all ;)
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jul 29, 2009 3:45 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm sure that Pliny the Younger won't bonk on Vesuvius ;)
Staring at the swim team gets you killed by a gang of dancing ninja men who know how to twirl.
by TheFigurehead on Jul 29, 2009 4:36 PM EDT up reply actions
I forgot to eat OK
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jul 29, 2009 7:51 PM EDT up reply actions
I thought you rowed over to get a closer look
and that was the problem, more than the food situation
Oh you had to bring that up!
Soy Tranquillo…
Oscarito is on the mend and NOT on my team this year. So that’s cool.
Cav and The Viking made up as they now have a relationship similar to Roy Ragers and Trigger, in which The Viking gets ridden around but get’s some green along the way (and in the end).
Too bad about the relegation, Thor would have won any how, but it would have been a much more exciting race at the end.
"…I saw bloody Cavendish coming, really fast…"
HH
So...if anything happens to bradBordeaux, I get the sash and tiara?
Just asking…
No reason.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
i confess
to being somewhat relieved for not making the cut for this one with my Cadel rants… :)
"The soul selects her own society then shuts the door" - wise words from Majope
Tiara, Sash?
BAH!!!!....Cavendish?!
TLP 7.0 Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent
by bradBordeaux on Jul 29, 2009 3:17 PM EDT up reply actions
oh, my
very nice
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jul 29, 2009 3:46 PM EDT up reply actions
wow
you really can find everything on the ‘net. (and that’s disturbing. not zombiecco stalking tourbecco in a field disturbing, but up there…)
George bunny-hopped my bike somehow. He's like a cat. -- cvv
by disturbing you meant, of course, brilliant...correct?
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
All that pink, even down to the feet...now who does that remind me of...?
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
proportionally speaking, he looks like he's riding a 29er
650c for the diluca comeback bike build!
"Race radios in Cat 4?"
I am impressed at how well Frinking has progressed in his English use.
Next time I learn a new language (as if) I plan on finding an internet forum in that particular language to help me practice. Seems to work well.
Don't forget the Favorite New Word of last year...
“ploegmanager”
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
um, Will - is that a real sentence?
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
Much better
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
Wait, isn't Frinking Dutch though?
I know they’re similar, but not identical.
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
you didn't notice Jurgen?
better not tell Douche Sergeant and his equally Douche sponsor CEO Coucke that…
"The soul selects her own society then shuts the door" - wise words from Majope
Oh, no... I noticed Jurgen
… but Sergeant sure as shit didn’t.
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
the usual chaos there
plan a party then equivocate about who the guest of honour is or make it dependent on wind direction…
"The soul selects her own society then shuts the door" - wise words from Majope
Very good summary
although I’m surprised Jenizotti winning King of the Mountains while weighed down with hair gel did’t get some sort of mention.
Also surprised more acknowledgement wasn’t given to the role of the Black Unicorn.
And next year you might want to add a best quote category – there were so many possibilities for that category this year. Especially if by “best” you really mean “worst”
I was a little hampered this year...
… as I wasn’t able to participate in many of the live threads where most of the best material is to be mined.
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
I'll granite you that there was probably some good stuff in there that I missed entirely.
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
You and me both.
I love C, not because he rocks as a cyclist, but because deep down he's a band geek! LOL!
as I wasn’t able to participate in many of the live threads
Is Chris banning you from the live Vuelta threads as well?
sometimes life is a false flat
Don't get will started on Grand Teton...
… he descends into a fit of girlish giggling everytime he reads that, the child.
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
Eventually...
… everyone quotes Lebowski. I believe that is a direct quote from the Buddha.
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
Hmmm... new signature test...
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
and Buddha knows a thing ot two about 'suffering'
“What is the noble truth of suffering? Birth is suffering, ageing is suffering and sorrow and lamentation, pain, grief and despair are suffering."
BAH!!!!....Cavendish?!
TLP 7.0 Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent
by bradBordeaux on Jul 29, 2009 4:52 PM EDT up reply actions
But what has he to say about the crushing of enemies, seeing them driven before him...
… and hearing the lamentation of the women?
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Don't talk about my governor that way...
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
PS:
Crom laughs at your four winds, Jens.
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
If you guys aren't nice
I’ll take you on a tour of Cross Plains, TX, home of Robert E. Howard.
(And one drive-through goes a long way to explaining why he’d cook up Cimmeria . . .)
He laughs at your four winds too R Mc
… he laughs.
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Will's cow has retired I believe, though may be mistaken, hard to tell
BAH!!!!....Cavendish?!
TLP 7.0 Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent
by bradBordeaux on Jul 29, 2009 4:48 PM EDT up reply actions
too far, yet too funny
Surely, this is the cover to “A Cows Guide to Existentialism: Futility and the Udder Anguish of Being”
BAH!!!!....Cavendish?!
TLP 7.0 Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent
by bradBordeaux on Jul 29, 2009 4:54 PM EDT up reply actions
This raises an interesting question for vegetarians
Is it immoral to eat this cow? It’s basically the same scenario as fruitarianism, right? Discuss…
Sir, my hat is off to you....
BAH!!!!....Cavendish?!
TLP 7.0 Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent
by bradBordeaux on Jul 29, 2009 4:58 PM EDT up reply actions
I think that cow needs to HTFU
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
+1
Hahahahahhahahahahahahah!!!!!!!
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
+1
And for the love of God, someone, anyone, please give us some bike racing soon. It’s only been three days and look at what’s become of us!
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
The Post Dandark Rundt
Isn’t good enough for you? Picky, Picky.
"I had a cameraman filming me on the back of a bike, I rode up to him and
said: 'hey, this is a pretty shitty situation, why don't you just leave me alone with my misery? I was close to punching him off his bike … but I didn't, of course."" Jens!
Video, Damnit...
All the Post Danmark Rundt did for me was make me wonder why the hell I picked Simon Gerrans for my VDS squad instead of Matti Beschel.
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
Because you're smart?
Breschel: cost 8, earned 495, PPS 61.88
Gerrans: cost 2, earned 470, PPS 235
Gerrans, so far at least, looks like the better buy.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
I knew there was a reason....
…I’d just forgotten what it was lol.
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
saved by stats once again!
i need all the encouragement i can get right now…
"The soul selects her own society then shuts the door" - wise words from Majope
Wow... nice retort!
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Isn't "not having your Swiss Army Knife" considered a felony in Switzerland?
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
It's been replaced by the Leatherman
try to keep up
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
Are you fucking this up, Dude?
Gerber is the new Leatherman.
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
They make knives as well as baby food?
Chilling combination, that.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
If you're going to arm your toddler, you don't want them hungry do you?
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
An excellent point.
And in the running for Comment of the Week.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
in the running!
I think that wins, hands down. Genius!
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
Look man,
I’m not handling the thread, and the leatherman, and driving, ok?
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
Have ya paid your dues, Drewd?
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Yessir, the check is in the mail
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
For the HTFU award might need to be edited because of one particular ride this Tour...
I’d have to say that Gesink, who rode on a broken wrist for 80k, trying to get onto the tail of a flying peloton only to be shot out the back again has to be mentioned somewhere. It was a heartbreaking to watch
We might need co-HTFU winners
Since Jens actually suffered a broken jaw in that crash as well, as was reported earlier today.
holy shit! what and he didn’t realize it til now? the guy’s on another level!
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jul 29, 2009 3:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Yes, they found it odd
that he kept quiet for 15-20 seconds at a time and figured speaking must cause him excruciating pain for that to happen.
It was only when his caloric intake dropped to 4000 per day
that they realized he wasn’t opening his mouth fully. X-rays followed.
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
Just read that news..
But the German federations has still nominate him for the worlds!!
"the rest was over 30. And that doesn't mean old and useless, but experienced and with the stamina"
Jens! Voigt, Crit Intl Interview, 2009
Jens! would crush the skulls of the german federation's top guys had he not been on the list
actually, that may be a good thing, those guys are morons!
"On a personal level, I have never had admiration for him and I never will"
~AC about LA, me about Johan "drama queen" Bruyneel
My awards... I make the rules...
… honestly though, every member of Rabobank should be given a HTFU award just for being on that team this season.
Respect the Shit List; it respects you.
Best Avatar
Frinking by a whisker. Sorry Black Unicorn.
ABRUZZIAM...uh oh
by Chris Fontecchio on Jul 29, 2009 3:14 PM EDT reply actions
I'm sure Black Unicorn will be very forgiving.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
Forgiveness is not a quality
I would think Black Unicorn possesses.
by australopithecine on Jul 29, 2009 3:22 PM EDT up reply actions
one word:
Jalen Fucking Rose
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jul 29, 2009 3:47 PM EDT up reply actions
He is the man.
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
I've just figured out who Frinking is...
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Perhaps you're not aware
that some energy drinks have up to 12 teaspoons of sugar!
"I had a cameraman filming me on the back of a bike, I rode up to him and
said: 'hey, this is a pretty shitty situation, why don't you just leave me alone with my misery? I was close to punching him off his bike … but I didn't, of course."" Jens!
No tengo los peliculas de podium muchachas...
… or however you say “I never got to see video of the podium girls”. (Psst… Emilia… I never looked at the podium girls!)
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
HTFU award
I think that a mention should go to the Aussie (& NZ, ok Shades) cycling fans. The timezone thing makes watching the Tour an act requiring serious dedication and suffering. We endured… and still managed to post here, and do so coherently (on the whole). AND we managed not to start any wars, even when Seriously Provoked by fans of the English Cricket Team ;-)
LoL... I'll second that.
We also endured the Tour everynight drinking one or maybe two bottles of wine (well some of us did), and then at least function at work the next day!!..
"the rest was over 30. And that doesn't mean old and useless, but experienced and with the stamina"
Jens! Voigt, Crit Intl Interview, 2009
Multiple bottles of wine?!
The only alcohol that I consumed was the Leffe that I drank in Tony’s honour, at the end of Stage 4 ;-). I did, however, manage to acquire a caffeine habit :-(. I’ve had withdrawal symptoms for the past two days at work… to the point where I felt compelled to avail myself of the Coke vending machine (and I’m not a fan of the stuff!)
Waiiiiiit a minute - you stopped drinking caffeine?
Are you fucking this up Dude?
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
nah all aussies are weak
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jul 29, 2009 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions
oh shit
was referring to a conversation…that wasn’t with you! sorry Aussies
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jul 29, 2009 8:29 PM EDT up reply actions
nothing is wrong here, Dude
at least I think not
I realise
that’s not a quote, as such. Give me time to get into the whole cussing thing, though. I already use the Great Australian Adjective, so I’m on the way at least.
But surely
the Great Australian Adjective isn’t considered profane, these days? Not really…? (Or perhaps just not in Australia, LOL)
Oh, I got a lot of grief
for using the Great Australian Adjective when I was in the UK. That was last century ‘n’ all, but even so…
Some of them just can’t handle it.
Can we have "put on a new CD award".
Awarded to Phil Liggett – CD called “Everyone is wrong except Lance”.
"the rest was over 30. And that doesn't mean old and useless, but experienced and with the stamina"
Jens! Voigt, Crit Intl Interview, 2009
worst ads, best ads, misc
1) didn’t get any FRS ads on the Versus tv coverage where we are, so I really have to go with the Cadillac chick – by the second week I was muttering vague hostile comments like “if I never see you again it will be too soon” while punching the mute button (live) or fast forward with a force previously only seen during some Smilin Ed, AOL and weird kid ads in past years. By the third week I was shouting at the TV “I’d love to watch you leave if you’d just GO!”
2) nominee for worst ad – anything having to do with the Orphan movie
3) worst music – the Versus high-pitched shrieking choir of vaguely religious/demonic music…maybe they were trying to be in sync with the Orphan movie thematically; runner-up, some of the sad music in the last couple of stages
4) never want to see again – anything to do with Danica Patrick or car racing (is it more or less painful for Phil to have to voice over promos for car racing or PBR?)
5) thank heavens they got rid of – the horrible noise and speedy car graphic for car race promos
6) best (or at least most watchable) ad nominee – Levi’s ROADID ad(s)
7) rider you wish a team had brought to the Tour – Chris Horner, just because
8) rider you wish a team hadn’t brought to the Tour – I’ll leave this one open
9) Thanks to Versus for … Bobke! Even toned down a bit – all together now, you know you missed it….Tour DAY France And the commercial free times on the mountain stages, though we paid for it up front.
Did miss Al T and his son tho. Hummer is improving and I mostly have stopped throwing things at the set when Andreu or Ventura are on (Vaughters OTOH…) Enjoyed the Versus streaming live coverage and the extra interviews w/ Gary Imlac (I think).
Here in Oz,
we missed out on the very best ads this year :-(.
Usually we are treated to imaginative ads from a company who offer treatments for erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation etc etc. Their very best effort was a year or so back, with an ad featuring two blokes playing a piano with their todgers.
There were no ads from that mob this year. I had been looking foreward to seeing what they would come up with… terribly disappointed :-(
But we did get the specialized SexyBank adds..
Sweeeeeeet!!
"the rest was over 30. And that doesn't mean old and useless, but experienced and with the stamina"
Jens! Voigt, Crit Intl Interview, 2009
and those bloody Rabobank ads
with the bloke in the bath.
Aw, and ‘Bikeforce’, who have at least toned down their effin’ bloody song. Last year’s version drove me to drink. [thinks] Well, that was one good thing to come out of it, I suppose.
And I must admit
that I was quite taken with the LG ad at first (you know the one… “I fell asleep during stage 7, can you start from there?”). It was getting a little bit ‘old’ by the second week, though.
I never tired of the shoe-throwing thing, though
mainly because I wanted to throw one at him, as well
It was a bottle, wasn't it?
The shoe was Austin Powers…
For run262 -
The tour lost out but we enjoyed him here on Sunday and we get him all this weekend too. :-)
I love C, not because he rocks as a cyclist, but because deep down he's a band geek! LOL!
*groan*
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Phil Liggett awarded TDF lifetime achievement award in the 'Past It' category.
The Haussler as proud German thing was especially and spectacularly off.
Setting the table – the night before the Tour started, I tuned into Versus only to watch and hear Phil call out demonstratively for Kloden’s Alps ‘victory burst’ in 2005, with superlative and superlative, and then Armstrong at the line.
by thisisntthezodiac on Jul 29, 2009 10:39 PM EDT reply actions
Apparently he couldn't tell the difference between Pozzato and Hutarovich for ages.
Er, the clue might be in the hair, the Italian champs jersey, the Katusha kit, the tattoos…..still think that’s Huta?! He also couldn’t tell Zubeldia and Paulinho apart.
Adrenalina Italiana!
Chris is riding on the front of the peloton making his patented CAS pain face
And Phil is all “this is Nicki Sorenson, who won the stage yesterday…” It’s not as if he didn’t get a good look at them!
don't you mean "paulini"
"Wizard's first rule. People are stupid. They will believe anything they want to be true or fear to be true." -- Terry Goodkind
How on Earth Bruyneel doesn't get at least an honorable mention in the douche cat
is beyond me, but this tweet pleases me
Back in Madrid. Catching up on the spanish newspapers… Think I’d better stay in the house for a few days…
Yes JB, be afraid, be very afraid!
Of course then he went on to bash the journal AS by saying it needs another S and then went on to post an incredibly lame message of umm motivation?
Don’t ask yourself: “What do I want or what are my goals?” But: “What would excite me?”
Umm, huh?
"On a personal level, I have never had admiration for him and I never will"
~AC about LA, me about Johan "drama queen" Bruyneel
damn that's the best one yet
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jul 30, 2009 12:24 AM EDT up reply actions
Is he pretty much telling us not to pursue our goals and instead try to kill ourselves?
by doing crazy shit that excites us?
"On a personal level, I have never had admiration for him and I never will"
~AC about LA, me about Johan "drama queen" Bruyneel
JB twittered the following aimed at AC
and somehow missed the irony that it was better applied to JB himself
Sometimes it is better to be silent and thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt!
Moo
That is the trouble with twitter
…people prove they’re a fool to the entire world. The irony of doing so while castigating others for speaking up is pretty amazing. But imagine how much richer things are for all of this direct testimony. Imagine twitter in the days of Lemond and Hinault; Poulidor and Anquetil; Hannibal and Scipio. I imagine the sledges emananting from Maitre Jacques’ twitter account would be a sight to behold – not like the rubbish we’re putting up with from the Hog.
C’mon Johan – let’s see something really entertaining!
Hannibal: @scipio
come back and fight, you yellow bastard!
there’s no ‘i’ in elephant
That was Fabius Maximus
Scipio was at Zama. Sorry to be a pedant. Fabius’ response – “@Hannibal: I’ve a heart condition. If you hit me it’s murder.”
Listen, I don't know what my f- ... acquaintance ... did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me
I admit, I got them confused. But it actually works better for Scipio Africanus, given the context of the quote.
So, find your neutral space. You got a rush. It’ll pass. Be seated.
And as Presuming Ed has consistently pointed out...
by Runitout on Jul 30, 2009 8:27 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
They're selling hippy wigs in Woolworths, man.
The greatest decade in the history of mankind is about to end, and as Presuming Ed has consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black.
****
If there is any film in history more quotable than The Big Lebowski, it is Withnail and I. I’m not sure this lot know it. Which is a shame. Besides…
This doll is extremely dangerous. It has voodoo qualities.
Actually, that reminds me, it has relevance to cycling
At some point or another, I want to stop and get hold of a child.
What do you want a child for?
To tutor it in the ways of righteousness… and procure some uncontaminated urine.
This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser… and cellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Then you get horribly drunk, and they can’t f@#king touch you. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. You undo your valve… and give ‘em a dose of unadulterated child’s piss, and they have to give you your keys back.
Danny’s a genius.
I've tried watching Withnail and I a dozen times...
… can’t get into it. Probably shouldn’t start it sober…
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Thanks for the post Dan!
These are now expected annually. :-)
I love C, not because he rocks as a cyclist, but because deep down he's a band geek! LOL!
I heart Hetbecco.
And Torobecco, and and Fogliebecco and Mondobecco. But my favourite is Txirribecco.
Do you think we'll need a ____becco of the year award this year?
The first cyclist to stand up to him. And he did it in silence.
That's a tough one.
I certainly would have voted for Girbecco—the first, the original, whose brutal and senseless death plunged the whole Cafe into deepest mourning. But now that he’s an evil murderous Zombecco I’ve kinda lost respect for him.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
wait um...
…can beccos be held responsible for the actions of their reanimated zombie doubles?
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
The buck's got to stop somewhere.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
But but but...
…if the becco lived a good life, raised a good family, helped old lady beccos across the street and what not, how can you just throw all that away based on what the poor becco’s corpse does under the influence of some crazed wizard? Its…its…heartbreaking I tell you! And if beccos know this might be coming, why even bother trying to live a good life? Why not just laze around on the side of some mountain smoking grass and trying to corrupt all the rest of the woodland animals? Humm?
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
Oh, Ed, Ed...
Girbecco was Italian, for Chrissake. Roman Catholic, of course, and you know that beccos especially consider Last Rites their get-out-of-hell-free card. The stories of what he’d get up to in the discos of Milan during Fashion Week would make Tom Boonen blush.
Unfortunately, instead of dying comfortably in his bed with the attention of a priest, Girbecco was struck down by a godless Swede who doubtlessly forced him to renounce his faith before the blade fell. That’s why Girbecco walks the Earth now, and why his zombification is a lesson to us all. Had he actually lived a good life, things might have turned out differently.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
But in that case, doesn't the blame for the horror of Girbecco's fate...
…rest principally on the godless Swede? Sure, he partied, a lot…it was milan, what did you expect?—but that’s his nature. Surely beccos are close cousins of the Satyrs, and favored by Dionysus. But none of that matters.—The Swede tricked him, played on his willingness to believe, even at the end, that he’d have a chance to make things right, then cruelly cut him down at the moment when he was most vulnerable… metaphysically that is. Good Lord, he probably made him take the socks off his horns before the end, exposing him to all those freaky cosmic rays and whatnot… oh the horror, the horror.
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
Why do you love zombies, Ed?
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
Well um...
…would you believe that recent studies have shown that they are good for the environment? They absorb and neutralize sixteen commonly occurring airborne toxic chemicals, three of which are known to contribute to global warming. Also, they’re at least as interesting conversationally as the Versus TDF broadcasting team. ‘Braiiiiiiins’ is no worse than ‘Laaaance,’ is it?
You see how calm Vaughters is? That’s because he’s really one giant seething ball of Evil inside. With like, extra Evil.
Cosmic rays?
Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
Oh, dear, I’ll stop this now.
He whom the gods love dies young. So too with Girbecco.
It's between Het Becco and Muurbecco
Imagine a rampant stambecco on the cobbles. Like a dog on lino. With horns.
by Runitout on Jul 30, 2009 8:22 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
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