Have You Seen This Goat?
by Jen See on Aug 3, 2009 5:47 PM EDT
in Cafe Happy Hour!
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Missing!
Name: Tourbecco
DOB: 3 July 1999
Height: Goatish
Weight: Climberish
Last seen: On or around 26 July 2009
Tourbecco was last seen cavorting and grinning leerishly in a field of sunflowers in Southern France. Since then, he has vanished without a trace. Unconfirmed reports suggested that he had headed to Switzerland, perhaps to meet up with his close relative Tourbeccow. But no leads have so far been uncovered in the land of cheese and money. Other sources claim that Tourbecco was seen lurking in the Swamps of Txingudi, where he may have or may not have come into contact with the dread sea mollusk Txirla. Search teams have been dispatched to the fearsome swamp, but have yet to find any sign of the lost Tourbecco.
One widely-held theory claims that Tourbecco was kidnapped by Zombie Girbecco. A photograph even surfaced of Tourbecco with his Zombie stalker closing in. But close forensic examination has shown the photo to have been digitally altered. Upon further questioning, eyewitness accounts of the Zombie encounter seem to have been induced by the Green Fairy making mischief. So much trouble, she causes. Or, maybe it was the soup. In any case, firm evidence supporting the Zombie Theory has proven elusive, despite a desperate search throughout Southern France.
Reward!
If you see the missing Tourbecco, do not approach him. Carefully note the time and place of the sighting, and contact authorities immediately. Anonymous tips welcome. There is a reward for any and all information leading to the recovery of the missing Goat.
Got Information? Call: 1-800-GOBECCO
Milk Carton graphic copyright Veloki, all rights reserved. Thanks Vee!
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I heard a rumor
that anyone providing information leading to the location of Tourbecco will receive either a replica yellow jersey, two inner tubes, or a contract from Silence-Lotto.
ABRUZZIAM...uh oh
by Chris Fontecchio on Aug 3, 2009 6:09 PM EDT reply actions
two inner tubes, then
I thought you wanted people to find Tourbecco. Even if they know where he is, telling them they’ll have a Silence-Lotto contract is a sure way for them to keep schtum.
Damned chinese whispers
the rumour I heard only mentioned a slightly worn pair of socks with a slight smell of goat.
Today I declare...
… there is no website, cycling related or not, that is anywhere near as cool as Podium Cafe. This thread is so genius, it’s subgenius.
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
No, it's ingenious
What does that mean, in-genius?
Oh, Dusty. In-genius is when you’re MORE than genius. This website Podium Cafe, it’s not just famous, it’s IN-genius.
Subgenius...
I’d tell you what it is… but I just can’t be bothered right now….
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Bloody hell
I feel rather feeble now, even with El Guapo by my side.
I would like to volunteer to search the Dread Marshes of Txingudi.
I don’t have any sniffer dogs but my marmotte has a good sense of smell. He may have got lost on his way to visit Euskbekko, a rare orange Pyrrenean goat, and fallen in.
Adrenalina Italiana!
We did mention that you'll have to pay your own way to Txingudi, right?
PS: Oh dear GOD what is that thing!??!
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Hmm. Not sure they'll let me take my marmotte on Ryanair....
Don’t you get orange goats in Cali? You amaze me…
Adrenalina Italiana!
That thing looks like a Salvador Dalecco...
… or a Hayao Miyazecco
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
I was told there'd be no art appreciation.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
ha....ha....ha...ha...Miyazecco!...brilliant crashdan!!
Totoro had his Cat Bus…
Will we see a Goat Bus?
All signs point to...
… no.
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
brilliant!
George bunny-hopped my bike somehow. He's like a cat. -- cvv
by cg. on Aug 3, 2009 8:48 PM EDT up reply actions
Report from Txirla
It says it hasn’t seen Tourbecco either. It only said one other thing- it would love to see Albertina.
Then it clammed up.
http://www.instantrimshot.com
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Txirla escaped the mascot curse?
I assumed Txirla met its end in one of the following ways:
1. In a “hot tub” with some minced onion, diced potato, butter, and cream.
2. Mistaken for an enormous loogey and mopped up with a handkerchief.
3. Freeze-dried and dissected to clear up that “it” status once and for all.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
or
on the half shell with some lemon juice and a pinch of horseradish?
ABRUZZIAM...uh oh
by Chris Fontecchio on Aug 3, 2009 8:31 PM EDT up reply actions
perhaps there would be a sighting
if Tourbecco was labeled missing on a container of Goat’s milk, rather than a container of cow’s milk.
i meant it the other way...
maybe drinkers of goat’s milk are more aware of the goat/goat zombie world which could lead to more potential information. definitely not a knock on the graphic…my favorite is still savant.
At this point we need all the help we can get.
if there is the possibility of goat milk drinkers being in tuned to his whereabouts, I’m all for it!
But Dan
Didn’t someone send you a picture that might constitute evidence? I know, fotoshop and all, but still.
ABRUZZIAM...uh oh
by Chris Fontecchio on Aug 4, 2009 1:22 AM EDT up reply actions
I've been hesitant to post about it, I didn't want to rile up the crowds...
… get the pitchforks out and start the witch hunt. I mean, the photo I received was… shall we say… provacative.
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
I think
for the sake of the investigation, it’s time.
ABRUZZIAM...uh oh
by Chris Fontecchio on Aug 4, 2009 11:35 AM EDT up reply actions
Unclean! Abomination!
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
I thought the ~beccos were ibexes
Ibices?— anyway, those things — rather than goats.
(Is my pedantry of doom coming out again? I hope not.)
What is a goat, really?
Does the wild nature of the goat make it a goat no longer? I mean, is a wolf a dog? Or a wolf? How about a dingo?
Maybe a dingo has Tourbecco.
well, there you go getting all literal-minded and stuff
do you want us to send you to silence-lotto, hmm?
Geez, steady on
No need to make heinous threats.
It was more a philosophical meandering than anything else. Feel free to ignore me; most people do. [sobs, quietly, then fades out to whimper]
thanks
I feel much better now.
[wipes nose with hanky, straightens up, blinks and smiles wanly]
No more histrionics
from me. I’ll just have to take my lumps, I suppose.
Those who can use nested threads...
… and those who have yet to figure out which of the comment windows to use.
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Point to crashdan.
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
Well, if you're doing a Boonen
don’t forget to say you did the whole sprint in your 12-cog
Garmin only sacrifices humans and witches
"On a personal level, I have never had admiration for him and I never will"
~AC about LA, me about Johan "drama queen" Bruyneel
Come on
I mean we all know that I’m an optimist and all, but face it people…. deep down we know what happened to Tourbecco. He is an ex becco, he has gone to meet his maker, he is pushing up the sunflowers, he has ceased to be. Let’s sharpen the spit and get the fire going cause it’s becco-que time!
Mandatory Python reference..
well played sir.
by Christopher See on Aug 3, 2009 10:43 PM EDT up reply actions
Poor Tourbecco was busy these past few weeks
not only was he a wonderful mascot, but he did double duty as one of my passwords at work during the Tour. But now that the Tour is over and my password changed, maybe he’s just relaxing somewhere on a beach – perhaps Goat Rock Beach?
that's interesting
because it seems every year someone dies there. Wouldn’t that be ironic if Tourbecco came to NorCal to end up as fish food at the bottom of Goat Rock.
"I had a cameraman filming me on the back of a bike, I rode up to him and
said: 'hey, this is a pretty shitty situation, why don't you just leave me alone with my misery? I was close to punching him off his bike … but I didn't, of course."" Jens!
New reports suggest
that Tourbecco might be vacationing at Goat Island Marine Reserve in New Zealand. Julian Dean was seen talking to Tourbecco at the Tour, which supports the theory that Garmin is somehow involved.
Although there were some reports that Dan Martin was seen recommending a beach in Ireland.
Does that goat in Ireland sound like our hero?
Not my goat! My Billy is friendly and neutered. This one is vicious, bollocks-intact and he butted my head really, REALLY hard while I was offering him an apple core. It hurt. I should have smashed him round the head with a rock instead of taking his picture.
If it’s the same, he’s dyed his hair, shaved his horns and put some contact lenses on. Seems keen to go incognito. That would explain his being upset at being photographed.
Perhaps he’s in tax exile?
some evil genie
just put the song ‘Echo Beach’ in my head after I read your post.
I blame Garmin.
If you
can talk Veloki and Nikki into it, fine by me.
ABRUZZIAM...uh oh
by Chris Fontecchio on Aug 4, 2009 11:36 AM EDT up reply actions
but the character is adapted material
and I’m not sure I’m comfortable putting it on a product for sale. Chris do you think this would be an issue?
i'm sure it's just a matter of time before Savant or Txirla show up on a milk carton too...
… this sport is dangerous for it’s mascots.
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
OK,
will look into the adapted material limits. For now, let’s hold off.
ABRUZZIAM...uh oh
by Chris Fontecchio on Aug 4, 2009 12:09 PM EDT up reply actions
We're probably safe for now
Italians don’t really do the internet thing very well. Does it count as parody yet? How many beccos have to die just for a few cheap laughs and a couple of pretty insecure passwords.
Dunno...
… how many you got?
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Well....
Mr Google says: Results 1 – 10 of about 380 for tourbecco
Wherever he’s been he’s been having a pretty good time.
viz
Wow.
PdC turns up in the oddest places… Gandhi?
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
how the hell did it scrape my signature and associate it with Tourbecco???!
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
I wonder how long this takes to get through
if I should claim that Tourbecco was second only to Parmenio in the esteem of Alexander the Great, until he was debudded at Gaugamela.
Nothing yet...
… not sure the comments are indexed. We may need to write a full story on the history of the ‘Becco family and it’s roots in the various regions of Europe.
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Bud is to flower
as debud is to deflower?
Throughout the stage all I kept on thinking was: ‘don’t finish second, you can’t finish second again’.--Heinrich Haussler
Only in Brooklyn
sheesh dese dames dey don’t know nuttin’
because the web suspects YOU!
George bunny-hopped my bike somehow. He's like a cat. -- cvv
by cg. on Aug 4, 2009 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions
And you're going to trust something like the web?
"Jens! is my favorite rider. I love watching him handing out plates of hot, steaming suffer!" - Mahatma Gandhi
Nobody's there
I think they’re focusing on Mallorca.
ABRUZZIAM...uh oh
by Chris Fontecchio on Aug 4, 2009 11:49 AM EDT up reply actions
a simple answer?
the average life span of a goat is 10-12 years. tourbecco turned 10 this year. maybe on the rocky slopes on the ventoux he knew it was time. perhaps he nestled up for the eternal sleep against the backside of the tom simpson memorial?
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