Le Tour VDS Smack Thread!

Gesink, Kreuziger, EBH, Boom, T-Martin, Roelandts, Seeldraeyers and Valls Ferri and maybe another one in Roux, since FdJ hasn’t announced anything. Since my whole team is U-26, they better grow up to full maturity fast and get me some damn wins

I would like to get over 700 with a few stage wins and high placing in G.C. but the way my team is going, they will all crash out at various points

i.e.: Roman, Jaun Antonio, T-Mart, Mick, Bernhard & Mark Renshaw
Pulling For Cadel – His Year!!
BTW- any word on separate Tour Vds contest?

Thanks mostly to Cancellara and Farrar (who might give me a few points in the tour)…

We all know Lulu will win this whole thing, so he’s my best hope – although Radioshack is sending their A-Team to support Horner (we all know it’s true). I’d say Chavanel is due to break out of his big old goose-egg during the tour but he couldn’t win the French TT title, so that doesn’t bode well. Besides “break” and Chavanel in the same sentence is not a good thing…

Anyway, I guess what I am getting at is post-tour, if I am in the top 50%, I’m a happy camper. My team isn’t too bad – but it’s not the GC we’ll be aiming for. If I get a couple stage wins I will be happy, and Cance in yellow after day one would be FANTASTIC…

Haussler, Dumoulin, Farrar, Vansummeren, Chavanel, Boom. Boasson Hagen, Lofkvist, McEwen, Ciolek, Gerdemann, Kluge

Plus, in the Ed’s league: Evans, Wiggins, Gerrans, Klier, Konovalovas

I use both cycling fever and cycling startlists, but I never know which is the most accurate and up to date. Are there others I should be aware of?

big guns Evans, Basso, Schleck the elder, and Vandevelde (I’m being optimistic!) and second tier GC contender Karpets (I’m being optimistic dammit!).

For sprinty stages I have Boonen (assuming he starts). I also have hard men Vansummeren, Eisel, Terpstra and O’Grady who could win a stage somewhere…especially if there happened to be one with some cobbles or something on it.

I have the original BCS Seeldrayers for when it starts getting hilly. Non-confirmed starts (all of whom could do something nice) include Uran, Spilak and Trofimov.

for sures: conta, farrar, basso, lulu, levi, thomas

possibles: hincapie, spilak, rojas, vogondy, duque, casar, ignatiev, arashiro, pereiro, vanotti

I say Farrar

After a good showing at Paris-Nice and Dauphiné (I’m 18th overall for Cat 3 races in France), le Tour is obviously a major target for “La tête dans le guidon”. Losing Nibali hurts but his Giro-Vuelta combo is nothing to sneeze at. Here is what the team is looking like:

AG2R:
 - Gadret: after an impressive Giro, expectations are high but as I showed in a previous posts, his performances in the mountains were not that amazing… Don’t think he will challenge for the KOM, so I guess I’m just hoping for a top 20 finish.
- Bouet/LeLay/Champion: Bouet is having a good season and will be a valuable domestique for Roche and Gadret. Not sure he will earn me many points. Le Lay will have a tough time to crack the top 25 GC and CHampion hasn’t done much so far…

Astana:
- Contador: well, a part of me wants to see a thrilling Tour, another wants to see Alberto crush the opposition, freed from the Bruyneel’s reins. I expect 2 stage wins and the GC.

Rabobank:
- Gesink: still not sure what happened in that TdS TT, the montainous profile of the Tour should suit him anyway and he should definitely finish in the top 10. Hopefully a stage win in Les Rousses or Avoriaz. Top 5 would be an awesome accomplishment.

Cofidis:
- Dumoulin: for a repeat stage win?
- Moinard: top 20 will be tough this year
- Pauriol: was having a great Dauphiné before his crash. Hopefully he is 100% healthy, could score some points…

BBOX:
- Vogondy: will sport the national champ jersey in Rotterdam after his win today in the TT. Has been having an awesome month of June, can only hope it carries to July !
- Rolland: 8th in the Dauphiné is encouraging but he is here to learn I guess

Columbia:
- Martin: not a good Tour profile for him, it’s gonna be a long wait between Rotterdam and Bordeaux for some VDS points. Will be helping Cavendish’s train I guess in the plains, and pace ROgers in the valley in the Alpes and Pyrénées?

Liquigas:
- Chicchi? Any chance he is selected? What is Bennati status?

FDJ:
- I’m assuming Di Gregorio and Le Mevel wil be in….

Absentees:
- Nibali: resting for the Vuelta
- Deignan: always sick
- Sicard: protected?
- Taaramae: appeared out of shape at the Dauphiné
- Casper: Saur Sojason not invited
- Mollema: needs rest after exploding in the end of the TdS
- Daniel Martin: I’m assuming he won’t be selected as he is not having the time of his life…
- Brice Feillu: Vacansoleil not invited
- Geniez/Hupond: Skil Shimano not invited

Overall, not as good as I could have hoped but this is what you get with a mostly French team :) Seriously, with Nibali, Deignan, Taaramae and Martin sidelined, that’s 44 VDS points not on the road and that hurts a bit ! Good luck to everyone !

Fabian Cancellara
Ivan Basso
Chris Horner
Robert Gesink
George Hincapie
Luis Leon Sanchez Gil
Lance Armstrong
Lars Boom
Levi Leipheimer
Marzio Bruseghin
Johan Vansummeren
Juan Mauricio Soler Hernandez

Definites: Cancellara, F. Schleck, Matti Breschel, Fuglsang (the saxo special there), Ciolek, Karpets, Spilak, Cobo

Maybes: Rojas, Arashiro, Hutarovich, Chicchi

If all those sprinters make their team, Team agl will be okay. If not, better hope for some stage wins from cance, ciolek, and good gcs from frank, cobo, karpets.

new sig

Not many favorites (Basso maybe), but many riders to follow

Depending on the final Bouygues, FDJ and Caisse d’Épargne selections, I could go to 18 riders.

Daniel Navarro Garcia
Alexander Vinokourov
Samuel Dumoulin
Ryder Hesjedal
Danilo Hondo
Ivan Basso
Jurgen Van den Broeck
Tom Boonen
Dries Devenyns
Lars Boom
Robert Gesink
Edvald Boasson Hagen
Roger Kluge

Maybe Trofimov?
Maybe Rolland?
Maybe Sulzberger?
Maybe Hutarovich?
Maybe Uran?

Take that spammer.

If I hadn’t been at Toy Story 3…

And I DO NOT Come In Peace:

Alberto Contador
Tyler Farrar
Oscar Freire
Lulu Sanchez
Gerald Ciolek
Carlos Sastre
Jurgen Van Den Broeck
David Zabriskie
Lars Boom
Manuel Cardoso
Ryder Hesjedal
Jurgen Roelandts
Rafael Valls
Johan Vansummeren
Martyn Maaskant
Jose Gutierrez

I got a feeling I am so screwed for the Tour of Austria.

eat my dust. If I had bigger balls, I’d have Vino on my team too, like Sui Juris has on his team. I miss Jan Ullrich. Just sayin.’

There is an ad on the front page asking me to create my Zwinky. I just want to say that my Zwinky has been in place now for 50 some odd years. For those who need to create a new Zwinky, my condolences.

Evans
Boom
Oscar
LuLu
CVV
Hink
Huta ?
HH
Iglinsky ?
Gaspa ?
Hondo
Remi Di ?
Moncoutie ?
KAA ?
Cookie ?

I am up to 390th place so you should all be shivering right now. My team? Powerhouse.
Bert to win it. Haussler to get revenge on spit boy. Maybe Cunego to hunt stages. Jens! to be awesome and crush pavement with his wheels this time. Leenoos to…..Lenoos is on my team. Ciolek to…….Ciolek is on my team. Maybe Chicchi who will lead Leaky’s sprints once Benna gets hurt again. Le Mevel to win on Bastille Day. Remi Di to finish 2nd on Bastille Day. Chavanel to help polish the dog house, El fares to provide the awesomeness in the names category. Trophy mom? Louder and Santa? If so to provide a lack of support for Cadel. Rafael Valls to provide the “wtf did I pick this guy for?” question.

Finally a race that should go to plan … and if it doesn’t then BAH!! So far have:

Michael Rogers
Frank Schleck
Andy Schleck
Chris Anker Sorensen
Mr. Tree
GHH
Daniel Navarro Garcia
Juan Antonio Flecha
J-Rod
Dave Z
JM Soler
Franco Pellizotti

Hoping these guys will ride too:

Oscar Pereiro
Wes Sulzberger
Yury Trofimov
Alex Kristoff

Are any of you guys in the top 10? I am. For quite a while now. I am here starting the crusade to say it as many times as I can before I loose my status.

I will be back sometime between the start of the A Volta da Franca and Brazil winning the 6th WC title.

PS To my aussie friends. I barricaded for Australia on that last game (is that right or what?)

Perez, in the VDS TOP 10 checking briefly on cycling during the world cup.

I’ll be back.

BRASIL HEXA!!!

…will go as well as my Giro did (three GC top fives and five stage wins). But I’ve got a few guys who should do things.

Cadel
Lulu
J-Rod
Horner

And a few who could do things.

Kolobnev
Dumoulin
Chicchi (is he in? I wouldn’t send him if I was Liquigas, but what do I know?)
Hincapie

And a few who probably won’t do things.

Cardoso
Pauriol
Santambrogio
Valls
Pereiro

I’ll wait to unveil my team since I don’t have the heart to stomp on all the happy deluded people here. Plenty of time to destroy people’s hopes and dreams in July. Today is Midsummer. Today is the time to drink and be merry.

I have the podium..
A. Schleck
R. Gesink
A. Vinokourov

Some nothing
C. Sastre

Stagehunters
L. Boom
M. Frank
Y. Trofimov

Vogondy is going to win the KOM but second is of course
T. Voeckler

Some sprinter
O. Freire
G. Ciolek
D. Bennati, if he starts else Garnieri..

And that was pretty much it…

Average

you can hear the VDS’ in places 1 – 331 trembling with fear, and with good reason –
Funky Finger Velo presents
Armstrong
A. Schleck
Farrar
Haussler
Fuglsang
Burghardt
Hincapie
Fedrigo
Seeldrayers
Pauwels
Pauriol

And once Trofimov and Ignatiev are confirmed, I recommend you (pointing to VDS’ 1 – 331) send Chris or Ted an email respectfully requesting withdrawl from the VDS competition. Just a recommendation. Just trying to help you out here.

P/S: as of right now, I don’t see BBox or Katusha’s TdF starters. Weird, since I’ve spent a good, solid 45 seconds searching for them on Google.

the squad is going to dominate as the following happens

The Accountant – the winner
Tommy Voeckler – housewives swooning across France when he scores his second stage win
Nicholas Roche – another stage winnar!
Robbie McEwen – socks it to the young’uns with a few stages and the green jersey
Christophe le Mevel – stealths his way to top 10
Stephen Cummings – a few days in polka dots and maybe a stage win
Manuel Quniziato – clearly the man for the faux-Roubaix day
Geraint Thomas – edges Cance out for the prologue
Alessandro Ballan – another stage winnar!
Serge Pauwels – another stage winnar! – no waiting for Carlos this time
Christian Vandevelde – 2nd or 3rd spot on the podium

I might let one of the other VDS teams take the yellow jersey for a few days and the white jersey at the end….

Where I was supposed to go on about having all the young French hopefuls – the Feillu brothers and Coppel. If only they had had the decency to get invited to the Tour.

I have: Ciolek, Luke Roberts, Rodriguez, Boom, Zabriskie, Farrar, Manuel Cardoso, Christophe Kern*, Haussler, Evans, Fédrigo, Roche*, Pereiro* (*=rider on longlist). The only other ‘possible’ on a team unlisted is Chicchi, although I have it in mind that he isn’t riding, for some reason.

Carlos “L’il Carlito” Barredo Llamazales
Fabian “Tony Motorna” Cancellara
Bernhard “DJ Diesel” Eisel
Ryder “Ryder Strong” Hesjedel
Manuel “Rider’s Manual” Quinziato
Nicholas “Roche Motel Junior” Roche
Luis Leon “Yellow Shoes” Sanchez Gil
Mauro “No Longer Under Investigation” Santambrogio
Chris Anker “Ankerman” Sorensen
Rein “Reign of Terror” Taaramae
Johan “Summertime” Vansummeren

If only Vacansoleil were going because then I could include Borat Bozic, Romain Feillu, and Jens Mouris.
David “Nuts” Zabriskie

Echelon of fools are going to continue their GT domination

GC “threats”
Ivan Basso
Jurgen Van Den Broeck
Carlos Sastre

Green Jersey “threats”
Thor Hushovd
Matti Breschel

Stage win “threats”
Mauro Santambrogio
Eros Capecchi
Manuel Cardoso
Ryder Hesjedal
Sylvain Chavanel
Dries Devenyns
Chris Anker Sörensen
Simon Gerrans

make up the agonized Owls’ tour team. Sammy le petit danseur might be good for a stage win, I suppose.

Carlos Sastre
Robert Gesink
Thomas Löfkvist
Jurgen Van Den Broeck
Tony Martin
Pierre Rolland
Jurgen Roelandts
Serge Pauwels
Samuel Dumoulin
Alessandro Ballan
Mauro Santambrogio
Samuel Dumoulin
(then possibly Hutarovich or whoever)

32 Alberto Contador – It looks good. The Tour de France is a bigger race in cosmic magnitude than any other GT by quite a margin these days.

16 Lance Armstrong – Okay, let’s see it. 2010 is one of the last years to have Lance in fantasy. Can he really drop Basso and Andy?

16 Tony Martin – Co-Second Team Leader along with Michael Rogers. Martin has definitely stopped sucking, but it’s gonna be hard to keep Cancellara from early yellow.

12 Luis Leon Sanchez – TT champion of Spain.

10 Oscar Freire – Green Jersey in 2008, took lead in 2009. Green again 2010?

8 Juanjo Cobo – Nothing to report.

6 Lars Boom – ‘Only’ 6th at Dutch TT championships. A silent tour in support of Gesink?

4 George Hincapie – Riding for Cadel.

2 Rigoberto Uran Uran – Why wouldn’t this guy make the team? Huh?

2 Grega Bole – Hope, yes on the team.

1 Mattias Frank – How many bottles in one go?

1 Eduard Vorganov – Vorgie!

2 Yury Trofimov – On the team?

1Jose Ivan Gutierrez – Whiner.

1 Roger Kluge – just here to get his ass kicked.

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108 (114)

Good luck everyone!

Yours truly!

Thanks top six national champions! In the top 200 now!

And the Tour is going to be good to me!

Ivan Basso
Joaquin Rodriguez
Vladimir Karpets
Tony Martin
George Hincapie
Edvald Boasson Hagen
Geraint Thomas
Marcus Burghardt
Samule Dumoulin
Martin Elminger

Andriy Grivko
Sandy Casar
Dimitri Champion

The DemonCats Lucky 13!!!