Ten Things More Difficult Than The Contador Case
by Jen See on Jul 26, 2011 12:36 PM EDT
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So maybe you've heard by now that the Contador case will be delayed (yet again!) until November. The delay came at the request of WADA and with the agreement of Contador's lawyers. Unanimity reigns! At this point, I expect WADA to pull unicorns out of their shorts or announce the discovery of Alien Planet Plasticizers in Contador's pee samples. Apparently, these things are very complicated. While we wait for the final act of this rather lengthy drama, I have made a list.
Ten Things More Difficult Than The Contador Case
- Herding cats. Seriously, have you tried it lately?
- Beach parking at noon in July. Not. A. Chance.
- Everest. Though it seems like everyone's doing it now? So maybe it's not all that?
- Getting a wave at Malibu.
- Pushing a rock uphill. Don't believe me? Go ask that guy Sisyphus. Super rock pushing expert!
- String theory. What is it?
- Needle in a haystack, change between the couch cushions. Some things are just so hard to find.
- Your bike is creaking and you can't figure out why. Also, your mechanic now hates you.
- It's like rain on your wedding day. Wrong list, maybe.
- Bike racing results. Does anyone know who won anything anymore?
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Nice list!
If I had any faith left in the “system” that’s supposed to jurisdict cycling sport infractions, this episode takes all the doubt away.
General theory of relativity.
Piece of cake compared to this.
"It's the greatest job in the world until Peyton comes off the field and you think his thumb might be broken and there's three minutes left in the AFC Championship Game and you're down by three to New England and you haven't taken a snap all year. Yeah, it's a great job until that point." - Jim Sorgi.
"If I couldn't play for the Colts, I would probably stop playing football." - Peyton Manning.
Relativity, yes!
I can’t believe I forgot that one. Also, that thing with the strings sounds pretty hard, too.
by Jen See on Jul 26, 2011 1:11 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Harp?
I’ve heard that’s a beast.
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger...
by TheFigurehead on Jul 26, 2011 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions
But it has SIX pedals!
"First you have to be cool, after you are cool then you can be strong" -- Davide Appollonio
Seems like a lot of overkill just to
slice an egg
I suck at VDS but at least I chose the right bottle of wine for this stage.
by omnevelnihil on Jul 26, 2011 7:55 PM EDT up reply actions
So which ones do you clip into?
Do not interfere in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!
whoever told you that is a lyre.
"Ants don’t worry, they operate like a fantastic team, they accept obstacles and deal with them in a positive manner, they don’t complain and remain positive. An ant doesn’t work on emotion, is proactive and always chooses the ant role."
Boooo
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger...
by TheFigurehead on Jul 26, 2011 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpYEJx7PkWE
"On paper, your team is awesome." -- Pigeons on my WVDS team, and life in general.
Violin sure can sound as if it's hard.
"It's the greatest job in the world until Peyton comes off the field and you think his thumb might be broken and there's three minutes left in the AFC Championship Game and you're down by three to New England and you haven't taken a snap all year. Yeah, it's a great job until that point." - Jim Sorgi.
"If I couldn't play for the Colts, I would probably stop playing football." - Peyton Manning.
by gizzardfanny on Jul 26, 2011 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions
You know what's really hard? Remembering to use your freaking Groupons before they expire.
Off for some barbecue, whether I want it or not.
I'm still young--Andy Schleck
Why do they make the zippers so hard?
Forget saddle positions, UCI, how about zippers? Way, way more important.
by Jen See on Jul 26, 2011 2:39 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
my gore zip off sleeve thing is impossible to remove while riding...
by JustJoshinYa on Jul 26, 2011 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions
I have (twice) tried to take a jacket off while riding and ended up riding no hands with both arms stuck behind back …. not good.
Always impressed when pros do wardrobe changes at high speeds often on hills
moo
+1 on this
The first time this happened to me I was >< that close to freaking out and a nasty crash.
I was near the bottom end of a long descent; at Clear Creek Station on the Angeles Crest Highway, having started the descent up at Newcomb’s Ranch in LA for those in the area. I had warmed up and decided to ditch the jacket.
Suddenly I was gathering speed and realised I had no way to slow down, let alone stop, and was probably going to have to throw myself to the road, with my arms stuck behind my back, as the best of a bunch of bad options.
One final attempt and an arm came lose.
The funny thing was I did almost exactly the same thing to myself two weeks later. Same climb, same jacket.
Slow learner.
"Age and treachery will overcome youth and skill" - Fausto Coppi
I always opt for the vests with arms. More for the money. ;-)
There are so many aspects to the sport that you have to take into consideration. Cycling is not like math. You can't plan things exactly. - Alberto Contador 24/07/10
I don't know about my LBS
I went in there and asked for a vest with arms and they looked at me like I was crazy. They tried to interest me in a jacket but I told them that just wouldn’t do.
Funny
but jackets/vests with zip-off arms do exist. (I prefer vest + arm warmers.)
"On paper, your team is awesome." -- Pigeons on my WVDS team, and life in general.
I don't know what's more astounding about Malibu
That you can pass dudes like that on waves, or that nobody else seems interested in doing anything cool with the wave.
Seriously, all I want to do today is surf now. Want to teach me how to Gav?
My fruit bowl is full of sex wax--gavia
Supposedly
I haven’t found it though. Closing the tab(s) is a hard enough task
My fruit bowl is full of sex wax--gavia
by Douglas Ansel on Jul 26, 2011 1:35 PM EDT up reply actions
I liked Inner Ring's take on it
The wheels of justice need new hub bearings
Seriously, though, this is getting way old. Like, WADA, why didn’t you use the June – August period to get your extra work done?
On a more serious note, does anyone know if there is a statute of limitations on doping charges? Cuz that’s starting to scare me with how this case is going.
My fruit bowl is full of sex wax--gavia
IIRC, 8-year statute of limitations on erasing earned race results
… though I don’t think there’s anything that would stop them from suspending someone from future competition…
E.g., they can’t take Jan Ullrich’s TdF victory or Olympic gold medal away from him, but they could suspend him from racing for the next two years, as if that would mean anything.
MJB
Lance Armstrong just clinched his fifth Tour de France
"You better have a schleckond helping (of crow). You earned it."
--Paisley
by dees ees en drama on Jul 27, 2011 5:33 PM EDT up reply actions
They didn't expect the Tour to be so exciting this year
Basically they lost July and are now hedging their bets that the Vuelta through to Worlds will also hold some epic racing.
I suck at VDS but at least I chose the right bottle of wine for this stage.
by omnevelnihil on Jul 26, 2011 7:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Well also if they can manage to postpone this for 8 more months they can suspend him two years from his infraction date..
and he never stops riding and only the retroactive results are different.
'When playing a game, the goal is to win, but it is the goal that is important, not the winning' - Dr. Reiner Knizia
by bought with blood on Jul 28, 2011 11:46 AM EDT up reply actions
You know what else is really, really hard?
Is facing the combination : First week of work after vacation + Case of severe TDF withdrawal effect!
"I love bike races warm up, warm down, cobbles mountains or flats."
perezbike
.
I gave up on trying to be productive - and ironically won a work award during the race (announcement interupted the Galbier stage though...geez).
by JustJoshinYa on Jul 26, 2011 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Kayaking in the sunset, fun filed Tour, work Award, looks like you have pretty nice July!
Sorry, Cav spoiled it a little for you with his 5 victories! :)
"I love bike races warm up, warm down, cobbles mountains or flats."
perezbike
.
(don't tell anyone...Cav's growing on me. Notice I don't call him Bahv anymore.)
In all seriousness, aren’t we lucky to witness someone who might just be the greatest sprinter of all time (not ready to say he is yet)? I think it’s cool and willing to become a fan…
by JustJoshinYa on Jul 26, 2011 11:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Cav winning heart of the one more fan!?
Yeah! Now my July looks pretty good too!
"I love bike races warm up, warm down, cobbles mountains or flats."
perezbike
.
Planned
I think this is being carefully planned to make Contandor suspension start on the same day as Valverde’s end.
Cadel!
by perezbike on Jul 26, 2011 2:21 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
valverde to saxo?
That would be too rich.
by mr. rogers on Jul 26, 2011 2:39 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Perhaps...
But I would guess that safely riding a bike while holding onto a surfboard isn’t a walk in the park.
Don't you have a rack for that?
I had no idea they were that common.
There are so many aspects to the sport that you have to take into consideration. Cycling is not like math. You can't plan things exactly. - Alberto Contador 24/07/10
ha ha, yes, you can get a rack
But if you want to take a couple boardsand maybe a beach chair? You might need a car.
Also, the surf is best here during the winter. Wetsuits are really heavy when wet.
You said Noon in July, for everything else get the trailer.
There are so many aspects to the sport that you have to take into consideration. Cycling is not like math. You can't plan things exactly. - Alberto Contador 24/07/10
Ha! That side rack is a little gem!
Just imagine riding with thing in some crosswind! I think you probably end up surfing the tarmac, with your face!
"I love bike races warm up, warm down, cobbles mountains or flats."
perezbike
.
What else is difficult
Driving a beat-up old car through Eindhoven.
Or: Andy and Fränk get in trouble with the Dutch police. A film
I am ready to hug the world - Tony Martin.
Embedding disabled by author Eindhovens Dagblad
Original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrNv89dqMP0
"On paper, your team is awesome." -- Pigeons on my WVDS team, and life in general.
Being Jens! can be pretty difficult, too.
Jens Voigt currently riding the entire Tour de France route backwards, picking up everyone’s water bottles.
Meh
1. There are tranquilizers for that
2. There’s an oversized car for that
3. A teenage boy has now done that
4. There’s global warming for that
5. There’s the “strongest man in the world” Scandinavian for that
6. There are beds to sleep on when one starts to wonder about that, for that
7. There are forensics for that
8. There’s an app for that
9. There are roofs for that
10. There are Dutch or incompetent Aussie websites(one which has employed you) for that
But the Bert case? There is nothing…
Don't need a bed for string theory.
Just find a kitten. They’re experts.
by LurkerMcLurkerson on Jul 27, 2011 5:25 AM EDT up reply actions
ha
yep
Europeans don’t tip …. (included)
That’s why american/canadian servers are so polite …. :)
moo
Easy...
1$ for every 5$, or so, round up or down depending on whether the service was good or not.
calculating tips is convenient in my province
where the federal GST is 5% and there is no provincial sales tax – 3-4x the GST depending on how generous one is feeling/how the service actually rated
Abacus
Seriously. What the fuck?
If cobble delusions are wrong, who wants to be right? -JFS PGH
by Chris Fontecchio on Jul 26, 2011 4:42 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Atticus
Unless I’m totally oblivious to the wordplay between you two…
My fruit bowl is full of sex wax--gavia
by Douglas Ansel on Jul 26, 2011 6:49 PM EDT up reply actions
heh heh heh
My fruit bowl is full of sex wax--gavia
by Douglas Ansel on Jul 26, 2011 8:32 PM EDT up reply actions
Gregory Peck...mmm
"First you have to be cool, after you are cool then you can be strong" -- Davide Appollonio
Don't be surprised if
the parties announce a settlement of the controversy – with Contador accepting the loss of the 2010 TdF and a time served suspension.
All other results hold..
They don't plea bargain in Europe?
Maybe a de facto deal processed through CAS (i.e. sentence sought by WADA/UCI will be x in exchange for Contador not contesting finding of clen sort of thing.)
Where's the punishment in a time served penalty if Contador kept racing?
He didn’t serve any time! except in the offseason.
by LurkerMcLurkerson on Jul 27, 2011 5:28 AM EDT up reply actions
I'll tell you what's hard...poor Cav had to sprint against Andy and Frank for the win in Stiphout today.
Beating the 2nd and 3rd best sprinters in the peloton can’t be easy, even for Mark Cavendish.
I'm still young--Andy Schleck
They should of use some sort of handicap system!
Or Cav have to sprint on tricycle!
"I love bike races warm up, warm down, cobbles mountains or flats."
perezbike
.
+1
but for me it’s risotto, I always do too much
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger...
by TheFigurehead on Jul 26, 2011 5:20 PM EDT up reply actions
see - this is easy for me...entire package.
Left overs FTW!
by JustJoshinYa on Jul 26, 2011 5:26 PM EDT up reply actions
The right amount of spinach is a brain-twister too
Like, I know it shrinks, but I always forget by how much.
I am ready to hug the world - Tony Martin.
Toss it in still warm skillet with pancetta, roasted tomatoes, some olive oil, and pasta
That’s as close to cooking it as I come. And it wilts some then.
But, really, Arugula is where it’s at for that dish :D
My fruit bowl is full of sex wax--gavia
by Douglas Ansel on Jul 26, 2011 8:34 PM EDT up reply actions
It's also good
If you put the fresh spinach into the colander and then drain the pasta over it so it wilts a bit from the water and the heat of the spinach.
I am ready to hug the world - Tony Martin.
I have the trick for fusilli...
I use trivelle most of the time – close enough to fusilli. And The best way of measuring is without a doubt ‘the handful’. I nail it every time :-). That said, I have found that changing brands of pasta can cause problems with the ‘handful’ measure… and another person’s ‘handful’ is not the same as my own ‘handful’…
Truer words...
and another person’s ‘handful’ is not the same as my own ‘handful’…
“There are many handfuls like it, but this one is mine.”
I suck at VDS but at least I chose the right bottle of wine for this stage.
by omnevelnihil on Jul 26, 2011 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Is that the Alice Roberts woman from Coast...?
"First you have to be cool, after you are cool then you can be strong" -- Davide Appollonio
yes
I know this because she’s lovely.
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger...
by TheFigurehead on Jul 27, 2011 8:24 AM EDT up reply actions
+1
not the knowing part, the lovely.
"Ants don’t worry, they operate like a fantastic team, they accept obstacles and deal with them in a positive manner, they don’t complain and remain positive. An ant doesn’t work on emotion, is proactive and always chooses the ant role."
Yep
screencap from yesterday’s rerun with the mostly annoying Neil Oliver presenting instead of Nick Crane.
"On paper, your team is awesome." -- Pigeons on my WVDS team, and life in general.
Is Neil the Scottish bloke with the long hair?
Did you see the episode they did on the Dutch coast?
"First you have to be cool, after you are cool then you can be strong" -- Davide Appollonio
Easy solution
If you do a long enough ride, “too much” is certain to be the right amount!
My fruit bowl is full of sex wax--gavia
by Douglas Ansel on Jul 26, 2011 6:50 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh totally!!
"First you have to be cool, after you are cool then you can be strong" -- Davide Appollonio
Euskera. That's, like, really hard.
And Ibert’s flute concerto. And getting medical students out of the library by 7pm. And getting a seat on the Central Line. And my effing tax return!
"First you have to be cool, after you are cool then you can be strong" -- Davide Appollonio
My tax return was marvellous this year
I completed it unintentionally, and much to my surprise. I downloaded the software in preparation for tackling it at a later stage, and just somehow kept going…
Would be far better than a garden gnome
"First you have to be cool, after you are cool then you can be strong" -- Davide Appollonio
Convincing my little brother
to drink his milk. Maybe I need a giant fibreglass cow.
by LurkerMcLurkerson on Jul 27, 2011 5:21 AM EDT reply actions
From the start, I was expecting the Contador case to be resolved in time for the 2012 Olympics
So any resolution before then will be a pleasant surprise for me.
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