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Techs-Mechs-Gear: The "SYSTEM" - Flat prevention during 'Base Training'

I was doing something like this back in '95.

I'm sure many others were as well.

Big Jonny over at http://drunkcyclist.com posted a note back in '02; and then did a nice write-up in June of '07.

Many of us are gearing up to lay down some long days in the saddle commonly referred to as 'Base Training'.
During this time, flat prevention becomes a higher priority then weight, or aero-ness.

On the flip, Big Jonny himself will tell* you what he knows about the system.

*Note: Big Jonny uses language that is a bit more saucy and colorful then typical PDC articles; but nothing more then I've read on some Comment Threads here, so I think it's fine.

What are "system wheels"?

Well, gather ’round children and unkie jonny will share.

Ya see now, it all started many, many years ago in a mythical place called New Mexico.
People out there got plenty of flat tires and they were sick, just sick of it I tell ya.
So what did they do? They ran the system.

With the system, you never flat. In fact, you don’t even carry a pump, tube, patch kit or tire lever.
With the system you won’t need any of that stuff anymore. The only thing you get with the system is tough.

The first fella I heard to dabble in this nonsense was named Garreth. He may have been the first, and he may not have.
He’s just the first I heard about. Big Gay Randy rode with him in Albuquerque and brought the system back to Arizona like some kind of disease.

Now, to really do it right, the ways these boys did, ya gotta be made of fucking steel.
Ya git yourself a 20 – 23 mm tubular and ya full ‘er up with slime, presta seal or some other flat proofing gunk.
Then ya get yerself a 25 – 28 mm clincher tire, preferably something really heavy, steel beaded, thick, unattractive, used, cheap, and shitty.
Get ‘em both situated all cozy like, the tub inside the clincher like an innertube, and snap the whole she-bang on a clincher rim.
Break six tire levers and three of your fingers in the process.

And not just any clincher wheel will do.
No sir.
You need something solid for this endeavor.
I’ll talking ‘bout pain here boy, this is the shit men do all winter, now listen up.
Look at me when I talk to you, boy.

Git ya’ll self a set of heavy, thick, unattractive, used, cheap, and shitty wheels.
Two of the best I’ve seen are a set of CXP 30’s and an old set of spinergeys about a few thousand miles past true.
Loose brakes and some wide ass chainstays mandatory with those bad boys.
Basically something free and with as many spokes as possible. Find the wheels no one else will ride and make them yours.

I got me some God awful Fir rims laced up on Ultegra hubs with 36 straight 14 gauge spokes and brass nipples.
They are tanks. God awful tanks.
Then I got a set of Conti Ultra Gatorskin tires.

Now I cheesed out on one point. I didn’t use a tubular, I used a big ‘ol honkin’ TR tube instead.
Now, before you condemn me as some kind of fucking pussy, you just know I ain’t the only one ‘round here doin’ it what way.
It ain’t worth buyin’ a set of tubs for this little jaunt down to the hurt locker.
This is all about keeping it on the cheap.

Another thing: I didn’t put a tire inside another tire. Some guys do that too.
Take an old clincher and cut the bead off. Use it like a tire liner.
You’ll be surprised how much it sucks. You’ll learn to dread riding.

But, I’m no pussy.
My front wheel weights over three pounds. The pair over eight.

I showed them to Snake and the only thing he said was, "What’s with the Ultegra hubs? These should be 105, tops. What are ya trying to do, lighten them up?"

I showed them to the Gnome and the only thing he said was, "These aren’t that heavy. You should put slime in them."

I showed them to Nic the Dick and the only thing he said was, "I dunno jonny, I think mine are heavier. Nice try though."

I’ve decided not to show them to Big Gay Randy. I can’t handle any more criticism




"Here is what I know of the system."

Author: big jonny

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