The ultimate cycling flame post
by kos on Jan 20, 2012 4:31 PM EST
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PrintIf nothing else, cyclists are opinionated. Even crappy ones like me have opinions, and damn it, we're right and you're wrong! So stick with me as I step on every third rail of cycling, or at least the ones I could think of while putting off real work this Friday afternoon.
Clinchers vs Tubulars
I had no idea what "supple" meant until I rode on tubs. It means, "If feels f'n awesome, as long as I don't think about how much each flat costs me." (And yes, I can change a flat tub faster than I can a flat clincher.)
Training with power or not?
The grizzled vets tell us how they don't need stinking electronics to tell them how they're doing. Me? I'm not winning any races or even town-border sprints anytime soon. All I've got to motivate me forward is a 5-watt increase in my CP-20 power test.
Helmet or no helmet?
Sure, that helmet will be useless in a head-on collision with a car at 40 MPHs. But that's the no-helmet argument?
Campagnolo vs Shimano (and maybe SRAM)
My current bike uses SRAM Red. But the only reason I'm running SRAM is because I'm such a shitty cyclist that I can't do rides like Death Ride without a 32 in back. But if I could climb 15,000 feet in a single day on a 28, I'd be riding Campy. And sure, I can use a 32 with Shimano, but just because I suck doesn't mean my bike should look like crap.
Aero versus weight weenie frames
It depends. Do you live in Florida or Illinois?
Gel vs blocks vs energy bars
In that debate, everyone loses.
Zipp vs Enve
In that debate, everyone wins.
Electronic vs mechanical shifting?
I only want bike parts I can fix myself!
Just don't ask me to fix a derailleur. Also, don't ask me to spell "derailleur" without looking it up.
(I reserve the right to change my answer if I become a millionaire.)
Are Rapha and Assos really that good?
Unfortunately ... yes. [sob]
Trek or Specialized vs actually cool bikes
It used to be that everyone had Treks, which made them extremely uncool. Probably had something to do with that guy from Austin. But that was years ago. Now, half of the bikes we see on the road are Specialized, making Treks increasingly rare. So increasingly rare, in fact, that they may soon be cool again.
Specialized are fine bikes, sure, but is there any glory in being the Toyota of the bike world? Give me a Cervelo, a Willier, Time, Colnago, or even a brick-heavy Pinarello (for aesthetics alone). Better yet, give me something custom built -- a Seven, Calfee, Serotta, Parlee or Crumpton. Those are real bikes! Because nothing defines "real" in bicycles than riding something that few other people do.
Mark Cavendish versus Tyler Farrar
If you are a Yankees fan, root for Cav. If you're stuck being a Cubs fan, then Farrar is your guy. Except, of course, Farrar sometimes wins.
Garmin vs Polar
Just kidding. No one uses Polar.
Does getting rid of one pound on your bike really matter?
Yes. It does, if you're showing off lifting your bike with your pinky.
Strava vs MapMyRide
What's "MapMyRide"?
Should you wave to other cyclists on the road?
Absolutely not, if you're a dick. Otherwise, even that overweight noob with Performance Bikes bargain gear should be encouraged for participating in a healthy activity. That is, unless you're barreling downhill at 40 mphs.
Disc brakes on road bikes?
That's a preview of coming attractions.
Conclusion
I'm right and anything you might have to say in rebuttal is wrong! This is the internet, after all.
And in case it's not clear, this is all in good fun. I suck too much at this sport to worry about what anyone else is riding or wearing.
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and what kind of cheese?
Aka Pigeons!
by Sarah Connolly on Jan 20, 2012 4:48 PM EST up reply actions
if it's shaved, sbrinz.
If it’s waxed, Gouda.
"It is unfortunate that the Wall is not plugged in correctly."
Man
I’ve been debating doing my legs for a long time but haven’t caved to do them yet. It just seems like such a permanent choice even though it isn’t.
I have been shaving my arms but that’s mostly because I have pretty hairy arms and it makes it a LOT easier to get sunscreen on my actual skin.
by Tyler Bleszinski on Jan 20, 2012 9:37 PM EST up reply actions
Dude you should totally put sunscreen on your legs too.
Problem solved.
It’s for your health.
I'm not just a smartarse. Other parts of me are sometimes clever as well.
by omnevelnihil on Jan 21, 2012 2:45 AM EST up reply actions
Fucking hell, you had a lot of free time this afternoon.
And you still got half those comparisons wrong.
All I've had today is, like, six gummy bears and some scotch.
ROLLERS!!
Trainers are evil.
De cross gaat out that door.
by Chris Fontecchio on Jan 20, 2012 8:06 PM EST up reply actions
Skis
riding indoors is for smucks.*
*extensively guilty of said sin
I NEED MOAR MUD
by Douglas Ansel on Jan 21, 2012 7:00 PM EST up reply actions
Well, not you of course
But some others I’m sure
All I've had today is, like, six gummy bears and some scotch.
It'll certainly speed up your ride.
Chuck Norris isn't fit to wear Jens! cleats.
by Millsy_1989 on Jan 21, 2012 11:54 AM EST up reply actions
Amazing...!
Felt identified..!
Strava...? We are going for the TOP 10 this year...! Are you going to be part of something great or not?
Well on this one
“Give me a Cervelo. . . Because nothing defines “real” in bicycles than riding something that few other people do." you can’t say that about Marin, where there are as many Cervelos as Audis.
"As a young man in Germany I longed to shop at RadioShack. My family never had enough transistors or extra batteries. It is a dream."
Andreas Kloden as translated by Will.
Wait a second
On one line you say “if I ever become a millionaire” and on the next line you answer the question about Rapha and Assos seemingly from personal experience. How do you reconcile those two assertions?
De cross gaat out that door.
by Chris Fontecchio on Jan 20, 2012 8:07 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
I'm not
Which is why I sob when I realize that I can’t have an exclusively Rapha or Assos cycling wardrobe.
by kos on Jan 20, 2012 9:57 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Then again...
My kids don’t really need to go to college, do they?
by kos on Jan 20, 2012 9:58 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
If they really want to go to college
they’ll find a way to pay for it themselves.
I'm not just a smartarse. Other parts of me are sometimes clever as well.
by omnevelnihil on Jan 21, 2012 2:46 AM EST up reply actions
Bicycle cap underneath helmet or not?
"Age and treachery will overcome youth and skill" - Fausto Coppi
funny, I can’t ride without one anymore, what’s wrong with me?
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jan 22, 2012 9:17 AM EST up reply actions
Leg warmers over or under
Or is that just too freaking obvious?
I mean it is to me…
"Age and treachery will overcome youth and skill" - Fausto Coppi
Leg warmers over the shorts or under the shorts
Warmers on first or last?
"Age and treachery will overcome youth and skill" - Fausto Coppi
Indeed
You’d have to look quickly.
De cross gaat out that door.
by Chris Fontecchio on Jan 21, 2012 7:44 PM EST up reply actions
couldn't afford
the punctures on tubs so stuck to clinchers.
hairy in winter, shaved in summer
sunglasses outside straps
so winter boots or normal with overshoes????
"Gels vs Blocks vs Energy Bar"
Jelly Belly’s…
"..In Belgium for sure they would try to stop the train."
Peter Van Petegem
stinger waffles
De cross gaat out that door.
by Chris Fontecchio on Jan 21, 2012 11:02 AM EST up reply actions
Give me a slice of pizza..!
Strava...? We are going for the TOP 10 this year...! Are you going to be part of something great or not?
almond butter and jelly sandwiches
and, my accidental energy bars,
discovered when, while making cranberry sauce, I wondered, what would happen if I threw some polenta and oats in there?
roast beef, yorkshire pudding with all the trimmings
Warning... not everything I say should be taken entirely seriously
sounds great! Do proportions matter?
Let stiffen, then cut in squares?
"It is unfortunate that the Wall is not plugged in correctly."
wound up having to bake for 30 minutes and still moist
tastes great though.
put a cup each, polenta and oats in.
1 : 1 : 1 bag o' fresh cranberries (+sugar, lemon zest etc)?
or to 1 can o’ pre-cooked cranberry sauce?
"It is unfortunate that the Wall is not plugged in correctly."
def fresh cranberries and 1:1
although . . . that results in a very soft product that’s kind of midway between a clif bar and a pudding.
I’ve been playing around with sort of a cookie recipe: creaming coconut oil and sugar together, BUT I’ve also been playing with different carbs: most recent batch included rice, polenta, and buckwheat.
Oh . . . and cinnamon and ginger for spices . . .
OK, ingredients assembled.
now, only need some time to do it. (Wonder how rye flour would work, as a small percentage, or einkorn/primitive wheat. Sounds like you may be going gluten free, which this isn’t, but they are lower gluten, I believe.)
"It is unfortunate that the Wall is not plugged in correctly."
Too sweet for me.
Better if you eat them with a handful of salted nuts.
Luxembourg is very close to Belgium--Frank Schleck
Nutella and jam sandwiches
I NEED MOAR MUD
by Douglas Ansel on Jan 21, 2012 7:00 PM EST up reply actions
Wheat bread (or tortilla), nutella, little bit of jam (not much)
Sweet, yeah, but nutella makes it heavy enough to last a while. Key is not too much jam, but if you put too much in it will spill out the sides anyways.
Also – tortilla/nutella/banana wrap.
And snickers bars.
I NEED MOAR MUD
by Douglas Ansel on Jan 22, 2012 12:24 PM EST up reply actions
The secret food ingredients Stef Wyman fed the Horizon Team included
Sandwiches made out of sweet waffles, filled with nutella, and of cake, filled with jam!
Aka Pigeons!
by Sarah Connolly on Jan 22, 2012 1:00 PM EST up reply actions
Simple carbs. When you're riding hard, it's what you need.
And, way cheaper than proper energy bars. The day I realized snickers cost 1/2 as much as clif bars was an amazing day. (Thanks @_Gavia_)
I NEED MOAR MUD
by Douglas Ansel on Jan 22, 2012 6:53 PM EST up reply actions
Nutella coated bacon
http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2012/01/21/om-nom-nom-nutella-coated-bacon-pics/
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger...
by TheFigurehead on Jan 22, 2012 4:04 AM EST up reply actions
Paracycling superstar Sarah Storey
Talks about her food here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/20/sarah-storey-paralympics-2012-diet
“I can be in the saddle for six hours so what I eat is crucial. For an event like the end-to-end, where you’re riding 90 to 130 miles a day for nine days, the fuel isn’t just for that day, it’s also to make sure you’re not in deficit the next morning, so I eat protein every three hours and have jam sandwiches passed out from the support vehicle.
When I’m riding on my own from home I stuff my back pocket with bananas, protein bars, flapjacks, gels and brioche. On the longest rides I’ll eat something every half an hour. My drink bottle is full of prohydrate – an electrolyte solution, and at the top of a climb I’ll have a mix of prohydrate and Coke, for that balance of caffeine and sugar. In heavy training it’s physically impossible to take on enough nutrition from diet alone so you do rely on sachets.
Aka Pigeons!
by Sarah Connolly on Jan 22, 2012 6:29 PM EST up reply actions
i have discovered this weekend
that mc donald’s fries are a cure for bonking. must be the grease/salt/carbohydrates combo. works wonders.
"Ants don’t worry, they operate like a fantastic team, they accept obstacles and deal with them in a positive manner, they don’t complain and remain positive. An ant doesn’t work on emotion, is proactive and always chooses the ant role."
why are those so good anyways?
they shouldn’t be but they are. I haven’t had them in years and now suddenly feel like some.
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jan 23, 2012 7:35 PM EST up reply actions
salt would be my guess
"Ants don’t worry, they operate like a fantastic team, they accept obstacles and deal with them in a positive manner, they don’t complain and remain positive. An ant doesn’t work on emotion, is proactive and always chooses the ant role."
the new BK fries are good too...damn fast food places...
my guilty pleasure…
by JustJoshinYa on Jan 23, 2012 10:21 PM EST up reply actions
Also...
Clincher (but big ones with lite tubes), no power (too cheap), Campy, Mechanical, Garmin, Rollers, FS 26", Roubaix over Flanders (but only barely).
"..In Belgium for sure they would try to stop the train."
Peter Van Petegem
tubular or tubeless (stan's is your friend).
quarq/srm vs p-tap vs. garmin vector (or possibly polar) .. .
definitely rollers (or Lemond Revolution)
what about slime filled tubes?
"..In Belgium for sure they would try to stop the train."
Peter Van Petegem
Or just really badass tires?
4,000 outdoor miles on Specialized Armadillos, no flats. Period.
Of course, if I lived in Arizona and had cactus thorns on the side of the road, that might be a different story.
I NEED MOAR MUD
by Douglas Ansel on Jan 22, 2012 6:54 PM EST up reply actions
It's funny, here we'll slime commuter tubes and tubed mtb tires
but use the Stan’s for road bikes and tubeless mtb.
Think it’s how much slime you need to inject.
It amuses me how different regions seem to wind up preferring different high-mileage tires.
Wallonia over Flanders
by a country mile ;)
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jan 22, 2012 9:21 AM EST up reply actions
Trek or Specialized?
Orbea… coming soon.
"..In Belgium for sure they would try to stop the train."
Peter Van Petegem
Is this
about litigation? Go with Trek.
De cross gaat out that door.
by Chris Fontecchio on Jan 21, 2012 11:03 AM EST up reply actions
speaking of mountains, did you see the pic pablo posted in the tour de san luis preview thread?
"Wizard's first rule. People are stupid. They will believe anything they want to be true or fear to be true." -- Terry Goodkind
hehe Valverde or Gerrans?
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jan 22, 2012 9:21 AM EST up reply actions
cycling is like religion
in that people seem to be so irrational about some things it’s comical. I am, of course, the most rational person on the planet. Obviously.
good post.
That's apprentice terrorism
That game is truly nuts.
What are you talking about when you use the term "hockey"?
Aka Pigeons!
by Sarah Connolly on Jan 21, 2012 5:39 PM EST up reply actions
Green fields and inappropriate length skirts
Warning... not everything I say should be taken entirely seriously
Cricket
is that the sport where you try to hit the ball through the little gates?
De cross gaat out that door.
by Chris Fontecchio on Jan 21, 2012 7:45 PM EST up reply actions
rugby is phenomenal
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jan 22, 2012 9:23 AM EST up reply actions
Can I sadly confess...?
Though i do try to avoid matching top and bottoms…
Warning... not everything I say should be taken entirely seriously
Me, too.
Although I was tempted to buy a Garmin jersey, since I have Garmin bibs and didn’t have anything that went with them. Ended up buying a plain white jersey instead.
Luxembourg is very close to Belgium--Frank Schleck
For what it is worth
Think the summer/tdf garmin jersey is pretty nice (I have one) – return of argyle was alarmingly a good thing. Pretty snug fit though if you are feeling like buying one. Mine is temporarily retired while I work off Xmas (white does not = flattering…)
Warning... not everything I say should be taken entirely seriously
by addict on Jan 23, 2012 10:39 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Yes!
I wear my Lampre jersey everytime Cunego wins.
De cross gaat out that door.
by Chris Fontecchio on Jan 21, 2012 7:46 PM EST up reply actions
simple...! LOL..!
Strava...? We are going for the TOP 10 this year...! Are you going to be part of something great or not?
Heh, or in maillot jeune/Worlds stripes?
Aka Pigeons!
by Sarah Connolly on Jan 22, 2012 11:07 AM EST up reply actions
black or red crotch?
I'm feverished, or the way you want to spell it
by plinytheelder on Jan 23, 2012 7:36 PM EST up reply actions
white shorts, red crotch...
oh the humanity!
by JustJoshinYa on Jan 23, 2012 10:22 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
red shorts, white crotch?
Aka Pigeons!
by Sarah Connolly on Jan 25, 2012 7:46 AM EST up reply actions
Campagnolo vs Shimano (and maybe SRAM)
Seriously though, what the hell is the difference?
More you pay = better quality regardless.
I got a new Colnago and wanted Campag, just to keep Italian with Italian. But in the UK almost everything is Shimano. Do I want to have to buy a bike with Shim and then buy the Campag also? And have the bike shop mechanic looking at my Campag when he almost always just deals with Shimano?
ie. US vs UK
cf fixie vs fixed
diapers vs nappies
restroom vs toilets/lavatory
ass vs arse
you say totato, I say totato
(It’s the oysters line I find problematic…)
Aka Pigeons!
by Sarah Connolly on Jan 25, 2012 4:15 AM EST up reply actions
oh, or better yet, different uses of the same word!
for good times and cultural confusion!
randy, fanny, pants, jumper, wifebeater, bog, etc
Aka Pigeons!
by Sarah Connolly on Jan 25, 2012 4:17 AM EST up reply actions
There is a third way
Campag and campy are both abominations in my mind. Neither sound like Campangnolo. Campag in particular sounds very much like an Englishman tryig to avoid soinding foreign at all costs.
I propose Campa as a comprimise.
But do the Swedes also have square melons?
And vending machines that dispense used schoolgirls’ panties?
Alright guys,
don’t beat around the bush. What you’re trying to say is the Brits and the Americans and the only non-advanced countries?
They're in the shwag box
next to the goat heads.
De cross gaat out that door.
by Chris Fontecchio on Jan 25, 2012 3:56 PM EST up reply actions
Wow. It's like a Godwin's Law for cycling threads.
"His grandma must have been a sight to see on the descents." - Jens
by SpaceGuy on Jan 31, 2012 9:02 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I had to google that...funny...and true...
by JustJoshinYa on Jan 31, 2012 10:40 PM EST up reply actions
I, also, had to google that. Amazing the things you learn at PdC.
You all are awesome!!!!
I’m pretty much convinced that you’re all batshit insane there. ~gavia~
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