You don't want to get sued by the UCI, do you? I don't. I'm sure none of us do. So we shouldn't say certain things. Fair enough. But what things shouldn't we say? Well, I have a list. I probably can't say any of these things, or else the UCI will sue me, but I can tell you what the things are that I can't say. Specifically, this is the list of things that Floyd Landis has been banned from saying - moving, with elegant escalation, from the specific to the general. Landis is banned from: "stating that the UCI, McQuaid and/or Verbruggen have concealed cases of doping, received money for doing so, have accepted money from Lance Armstrong to conceal a doping case, have protected certain racing cyclists, concealed cases of doping, have engaged in manipulation, particularly of tests and races, have hesitated and delayed publishing the results of a positive test on Alberto Contador, have accepted bribes, are corrupt, are terrorists, have no regard for the rules, load the dice, are fools, do not have a genuine desire to restore discipline to cycling, are full of shit, are clowns, their words are worthless, are liars, are no different to Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, or to make any similar other allegations of that kind." I don't know about you, but next time people are angry with the UCI, I intend to remind them quite specifically NOT to say that the UCI are liars, clowns and corrupt terrorists who have no regard for the rules, whose words are full of shit, who are fools, who have no desire to restore discipline to cycling, and who are no better than Colonel Muammar Gaddafi. And boy am I grateful to Judge Piguet for providing a succinct list, all in one place, of the things we might be tempted to say but oughtn't to. Let's all spread the word! This is what we should remember not to say...