Podium Cafe is a magical place where people of all nations gather in peace and harmony to talk cycling, and happy little internet gnomes translate tweets and articles for us. So it's no surprise that we have our very own unicorns, too! And they're ready and willing to help you pick your 2012 FSA DS team.
Because, face it--it's a hard task. Is Eddy worth the premium, especially now that he's given up the yellow shoes? Does a victory in Qatar prove Boonen is back to his winning ways, or are early-season SSR results meaningless? How's Renshaw going to do now that he's not towing Cav to the front? How many freaking points can Bert rack up after August 6th, anyway?
Take the anxiety out of it and ask the unicorns instead! Go to the links below, enter a name in the box, and see what they have to say. There. Now you have time to obsess over your women's team properly.
Are you pure of heart and full of sparkling goodness? Ask the White Unicorn!
Um, not so much? Ask the Black Unicorn!
Somewhere in between? Try 'em both, and average the two! It's still better than spending hours hunched over a spreadsheet. And, sadly, in my experience has at least as much predictive value.
BROWSER NOTE: The unicorns work for me in Safari, IE, and Firefox. For some reason, they utterly refuse to answer in Chrome (perhaps you consider selling your Google stock?). Your mileage may vary--the internet is weird. But I thought I should warn you. Thanks to the incredible help of SuperTed, the unicorns should now work in ALL browsers! I so owe Ted a beer. Or three.
Virgin Majope and Unicorn, Domenichino [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons; Abduction of Prosperine on a Unicorn, Albrecht Dürer [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons