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Around SBN: VIDEO: Veterans Share Favorite Sports Memories

FSA DS - The Wacky Racers

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Climbers, sprinters, cobbles, monuments, grand tours, SSRs, value youngsters, and the like are all admittedly important. Find yourself constantly swapping riders and strategies? Is it all just giving you a headache? Becoming more like this?

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Then maybe time to theme that team.

Challenge - to let (imho) one of Hanna Barbera's greatest cartoons be the guide to FSA DS selection. Selections matched to each car follow.

Star-divide

The Slagg Brothers in the Boulder Mobile

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A few choices out there. Go with Boulder and whole of Garmin team and others available, go with brothers then can go with Schlecks, Sagans etc. Choice - Velits brothers. Deciding factor, just like in the cartoon nothing ever disturbs the hair, which seems impervious to weather conditions, climate, wearing a helmet etc Always always lustrous.

Hired - Peter Velits (8) and Martin Velits (2)

Professor Pat Pending

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Wacky inventor type. Brain power required, self confessed geek preferably. Choice - Adam Hansen. Computer background and go to guy for teammates when phone is broken etc.

Hired - Adam Hansen (1)

Red Max

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Only one rider is in a team that wears red (pesky national champs kit) and goes uphill/puts in an attack etc at the end of races like he is jet propelled.

Hired - Phillippe Gilbert (36)

Peter Perfect in the Turbo Terrific

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Only two real choices say the hottitude threads. Cant have Fabian under the price rules, leaving Tom as the obvious choice. Wiki describes PP as "a gentleman racer" which fits, and describes the Turbo Terrific as "despite its name and ..adulation, is highly unreliable; it often falls to pieces in the middle of a race" - which you can make up your own mind about... (Also there is small resemblance, more so than to Fabian)

Hired - Tom Boonen (12)

Rufus Ruffcutt and Sawtooth in the Buzz Wagon

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One look at that physique, choosing a cyclist to fit the description of "tough, muscle-bound lumberjack" and the name in the frame is The Gorilla, and Lotto Belisol leadout train is becoming the February Buzz Wagon.

Hired - Andre Greipel (14)

Ant Hill Mob

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For some reason conjures up the mental image of Erik Zabel (Clyde) yelling at a bunch of dum dums Katusha's young riders trying to turn them into an effective leadout train.

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For team picking purposes (need for seven riders) substituting Oscarito for Zabel - who can no doubt look equally unimpressed when he tries/the situation demands.

Hired - Oscar Freire (6), Tromifey Kritskey (2), Alexander Porsev (1), Aleksandr Kuschynski (1), Alexey Tsatevich (1), Vladimir Isaychev (1), Marko Haller (1)

The Gruesome Twosome in the Creepy Coupe

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Another no brainer. Michael Rasmussen and Stephan Schumacher are as gruesome a twosome as can find on the rider list. Worrying signs that Dragon Power could be against the WADA code, though others say such claims are "ampaw".

Hired - M Rasmussen (1) and S Schumacher (1)

Penelope Pitstop

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Linus Gerdemann Well known for her mid race beauty regimens - can only be one choice, with a name that is Italian for cosmetics

Hired - Manuel Belletti (2)

Luke and Blubber Bear in the Arkansas Chuggabug

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Having pondered long and hard over who Luke bears a certain resemblance to

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have finally stopped listening to the voices in my head saying pick Marco Pinotti and plumped for Bradley Wiggins. Swayed by use of "hot air power" and having a "fat mate" (overlooking/taking into account - you decide - Blubber Bear got his name from crying a lot rather than is overweight) meaning a Sky rider the obvious pick (plus if you squint carefully the resemblance is uncanny)

Hired - Bradley Wiggins (18)

Army Surplus Special

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Time to cheat and up the number of riders from 2 to 6 to fill up the rest of the spaces on the team. Looking for ex soldiers etc. Results of the World Military Cycling Championships over the years checked and hired accordingly (Juraj Sagan eligible but overlooked, National Service abolished in Slovakia just in time for Peter to concentrate on cycling career with no time out)

Hired - Vasil Kiryienka (4), Kanstantin Siutsou (4), Janez Brajkovic (4), Grega Bole (6), Stefan Denifl (2) and Kristjan Koren (1)

Dick Dastardly and Muttley

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Dont want to name a cyclist as dastardly. Very few riders called Richard. Couldn't find any with an obvious dog related name. And there is a dearth of moustaches in the peleton it seems.

As such going to the opposite end of the spectrum. Bjorn Leukemans translates as Bjorn Niceman and Oscar Gatto translates as Oscar Cat. That will have to do.

Hired - B Leukemans (16) and O Gatto (4)

Job Done.

25 riders, 149 points spent.

Sad thing is, think above may be better than the team have compiled without using a cartoon as a reference point.

Comment 37 comments  |  10 recs  | 

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Briljant!

De cross gaat out that door.

by Chris Fontecchio on Feb 15, 2012 6:25 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

The Gruesome Twosome in the Creepy Coupe

HA!

by swells on Feb 15, 2012 9:48 PM EST up reply actions  

Wow, so cool.

The high point of the VDS pre-season so far, IMO. I had a sticker set from this cartoon back in the day. I had Dick Dasterdley and Mutley on my bike. :-)

"If Peyton Manning crashed onto a barbed-wire fence and returned to a game, you’d never hear the end of it for the rest of your life." Jason Gay

by ELVISGOAT on Feb 15, 2012 7:30 PM EST reply actions  

oh... my... word. fantastic.

"Wizard's first rule. People are stupid. They will believe anything they want to be true or fear to be true." -- Terry Goodkind

by umwolverine on Feb 15, 2012 7:36 PM EST reply actions  

I've rec'ed this. Amazing :)

"How strange it was to see men doing something beautiful. Something pointless and elegant." Tim Winton, 'Breath'

by Seahorse on Feb 15, 2012 7:51 PM EST reply actions  

Outstanding

PopUp – we need your orange asterisk thingy back.

by PopUp Rolen on Feb 15, 2012 8:10 PM EST via mobile reply actions  

That was awesome :D

Totally rocks the casbah.

~ Gavia ~

by Jen See on Feb 15, 2012 9:30 PM EST reply actions  

Trying to find the words....

I can’t !!! Amazing…! Great..!! Blah blah..! I rec’d…!!!

Strava...? We are going for the TOP 10 this year...! Are you going to be part of something great or not?

by pablo777 on Feb 15, 2012 9:52 PM EST reply actions  

I have no idea what the hell any of this is

but I still think it’s kinda awesome

"I’m pretty disappointed, but if this is what people want to see, a race decided on a downhill," Andy Schleck said. "I don’t think that. A finish like this should not be allowed."

by jsallee00 on Feb 15, 2012 11:11 PM EST reply actions  

Very, very fun idea!

"How strange it was to see men doing something beautiful. Something pointless and elegant." Tim Winton, 'Breath'

by Seahorse on Feb 16, 2012 12:31 AM EST up reply actions  

Agree

Love this team, would be very amused to watch it through the season. Already alive to the possibility of being beaten by it…

by EdredonBrowny on Feb 16, 2012 2:37 AM EST up reply actions  

I rec'ed the idea, hoping someone will check with the editors whether it's possible.

"How strange it was to see men doing something beautiful. Something pointless and elegant." Tim Winton, 'Breath'

by Seahorse on Feb 16, 2012 2:42 AM EST up reply actions  

I think Andrew already set up a 2nd account

(Which we keep track of in order to protect the 1 team per person rule. So don’t get any ideas.)

by tedvdw on Feb 18, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions  

yep

used in error below. Used it to do the flag thing as didn’t want to turn my team upside down just or the flags. (Going to use it on the horse racing blog as prefer to not to use my “real” name there sometimes)

by andrewp on Feb 19, 2012 4:44 AM EST up reply actions  

Thanks

and done.

(though did hire and fire MR & SS a few times just to dissipate the inherent ickiness)

by andrewp on Feb 20, 2012 6:56 AM EST up reply actions  

Awesome team!

You may not be ab;e to submit 2 teams but I at least hope we can track the progress of the Hanna Barbera inspired team!

by RollinRollinRolland on Feb 16, 2012 12:38 AM EST reply actions  

Track the progress?

they’ll all go the same speed ‘cos they’ve all got the same body

by Monty. on Feb 21, 2012 5:28 PM EST up reply actions  

Awesome stuff :-)

Magnificent :-D

'When playing a game, the goal is to win, but it is the goal that is important, not the winning' - Dr. Reiner Knizia

by bought with blood on Feb 16, 2012 2:12 AM EST via Android app reply actions  

Fantastic

Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger...

by TheFigurehead on Feb 16, 2012 3:19 AM EST reply actions  

Glad people liked

Very kind comments. (Lost a happy hour to youtube – loads of episodes up there in full – forgot just how much liked the cartoon)

Team looks like this (cant get to work up top)

BEL GBR BEL GER BEL SLO ESP SLO BLR ITA BLR ITA AUT GER SVK SLO SVK RUS AUT AUS RUS BLR RUS DEN RUS

by Drat Drat and Double Drat on Feb 16, 2012 3:47 AM EST reply actions  

Enjoyable

Probably will outperform my team :)
But there’s a lot overlap.

by CelticPride on Feb 16, 2012 1:53 PM EST reply actions  

THis is excellent

Really, really excellent :D

Coffee cures all. ~ Gav

by tgsgirl on Feb 16, 2012 4:12 PM EST reply actions  

I don't know enough about the riders personalities

But for the one that one to makes something like this the smuffts is a great cartoon for it.. Just an idea.

Strava...? We are going for the TOP 10 this year...! Are you going to be part of something great or not?

by pablo777 on Feb 16, 2012 4:30 PM EST reply actions  

Muttley fan here

I take great comfort from this great post that the average age of PdC is higher than I expected. I think I enjoyed this cartoon +35 years ago?

moo

by Willj on Feb 16, 2012 6:22 PM EST reply actions  

Oh don't worry.

I played the game like muchos hours.

by Frinking on Feb 20, 2012 5:41 AM EST up reply actions  

+1

Late to the show as usual but this is hilarious. Well done.

by ZoeRochelle on Feb 18, 2012 12:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Thinking about this, we should have such an event after the racing season...with categories like,

Best Live Thread
Best feature by an Editor
Best Techs Mechs etc

"How strange it was to see men doing something beautiful. Something pointless and elegant." Tim Winton, 'Breath'

by Seahorse on Feb 18, 2012 8:12 PM EST up reply actions  

Great idea, Seahorse!

Can you organize that? Pretty please!

In loving memory of the HTC- Highroad


.

by holmovka on Feb 21, 2012 9:32 PM EST up reply actions  

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