FSA DS - Television from MY youth

With a humble H/T to andrewp and his post earlier this week, I was inspired to come up with a FSA DS team using similar tactics based on TV from my youth. There are 2 main rules that I stuck to. 1) Don’t go heavy on pictures - I’m not clear on all the rules anymore, so I’ll stick to some hyperlinks and 2) Keep it simple – I’ll rely mostly on the distant memories stored deep down in the mushy parts of my skull. I purposely did not go-a-googling for fear of ending up on one of those never-ending internet search rabbit trails where you start off looking for heartworm medicine, next thing ya know, you’re staring at pictures of chicks in stormtrooper costumes. Wait. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, using television from my youth to pick a VDS squad. The shows I present below are simply the one’s that came quickly to the forefront of my thoughts as I embarked. The actual details of each TV show and/or its characters may not be totally accurate, but each description is the way I remember them. In other words, your childhood may vary as well as your association to each rider.

Ready? Let’s Roll.

THE ‘A’ TEAM – The first show that popped in my head. Helicopters, damsels in distress, central American makeshift machine-gun pickup trucks and welding. No one got hurt and the good guys always won.

Murdock – Crazy, quirky but you need him to pull you out of tight situations. Dave Zabriskie: 2 pts.

Faceman – Handsome & up front. Michael "Bling" Matthews: 8 pts.

B.A. Baracus – the "B.A." says it all. You need some muscle who ain’t afraid to bring it. Ramunas Navardauskas: 2 pts.

Hannibal – The Field Marshal or Road Captain in this case. Confidently in charge. Stuart O’Grady: 4 pts.

SCOOBY DOO – I was trying to recall the actual broadcast times for this show. I didn’t watch it on Saturday mornings because back then, I was strictly a 90 minute Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner elitist. But yet, it seems like one of those shows that was always on somewhere, but yet again, we only had 4 channels. IIRC, the Mystery Inc. gang was mostly on as background filler in those afternoon hours after school before your parents got home and made you switch to "the news". In any case, here are your picks.

Velma – Analytic and intelligent. She knew how to read a mystery and was always right. Chris Horner: 6 pts.

Fred – Strong and not always silent. Liked to talk but couldn’t always be taken seriously. Was he in charge? Andre Greipel: 14 pts.

Daphne – She was pretty but was she smart? I never could figure it out. She was probably included as Fred’s subtle arm candy…but we’re not sure. Edvald Boasson Hagen: 20 pts.

Shaggy – Duh. Laurens ten Dam: 2 pts.

SLEDGE HAMMER! – OK, this show was only on for 1 or 2 seasons in the ‘80s and it was one of my favs. Sledge was a police inspector, satirically modeled after Clint Eastwood’s Dirty Harry character. One of the funniest shows I remember. I’m gonna get the DVD someday and rewatch, cuz this show was great.

Sledge – The violent, non-politically correct, loose cannon, yet, lovable main character. Jens! 2 pts.

Dori Doreau – Sledge’s partner. Pretty, sensitive and intelligent (she actually did all of the crime solving)…polar opposite of Sledge. Linus Gerdemann: 2 pts.

Captain Trunk – Every loose cannon cop needs the stressed out superior. Thor Hushovd: 14 pts.

HOGAN’S HEROESThis show reminds me of when I would visit my Grandma who absolutely loved this show. We would watch it together while I played with my Hot Wheels on the floor and she smoked Salem’s at the kitchen table whilst expertly working crosswords and anagrams (and I’m talking the advanced ones…my Grandma was a multi-tasker). Again, this is one of those shows that I saw in re-runs after school and during the summer. I’ll try to keep it nationalistic.

Colonel Hogan – Savvy American leader in the trenches. Easy. George Hincapie: 4 pts.

Kinch – Loyal everyman. Jason McCartney: 1 pt.

Carter – You need a bomb diffused or an arrow caught? Sylvester Szmyd: 1 pt. (yeah, I know he’s not American, but c’mon, who’s better at this role?)

LeBeau – Let’s see, plucky French guy. Christophe LeMevel: 4 pts.

Newkirk – Goofy Brit? Are you kidding? Bradley Wiggins: 18 pts.

Colonel Klink – This is tough. The closest I could come is a veteran German with past delusions of glory. Danilo Hondo: 2 pts.

Sgt. Schultz – German laughing stock? How about Patrik Sinkewitz? 1 pt.

EMERGENCY! – "EEH, OOH, EEE – Rampart 51, Rampart 51" This was, without a doubt, my favorite TV show as a kid. Johnny Gage & Roy DeSoto = real, American heroes. Saving lives and driving a cool red truck. Plus, nothing had to be "bleeped" or pixilated out. C’mon, who even heard of the term "paramedic" before this show came on? In 2nd grade, I had an Emergency! lunchbox with Johnny & Roy right there on the thermos. Loved it! Stand-by for creative interpretation.

Johnny Gage – Johnnie Hoogerland: 4 pts.

Roy DeSoto – Jeremy Roy: 1 pt.

Dixie – Reliable, pretty and my first memory of that pseudo-sexy nurse hat thing. Ok, this was tough. The actress that played Dixie was Julie London so let’s go with someone from London…or in this case from Essex. That’s close enough, right? Alex Dowsett 4 pts. (and if that ain’t London enough for ya, have a bag of prawn flavoured crisps and a lukewarm Carling and chillax).

Dr. Kelly Brackett – handsome & confident, guys want to be him and the ladieeez want to be with him. Daniele Bennati: 12 pts.

Joe Early (the ‘other’ Doctor) – played by Bobby Troup = the best I could do here is Bobbie Traksel for 2 pts.

ADAM-12 – Another favorite. Cut from the same mold as Emergency! Good ol’ safe, family viewing where the good guys are wholesome as well as awesome. Heck, even the actors that played the characters had names that could actually be characters. Martin Milner as Pete Malloy and Kent McCord as Jim Reed. Remember that episode of Emergency! where the guys at Rampart wanted to get back to the station to watch the latest episode of Adam-12? Let’s see here…

Pete Malloy – clean cut & wholesome? Ben King: 1 pt.

Jim Reed – dark, handsome rookie? Francesco Lasca: 1 pt. (I picked him for the resemblance).

There you have it. 25 riders using only 132 pts. so you have some substitution room if you wanted to say, bring in some guys from M.A.S.H. I love it when a plan comes together.

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