Hey Humans! We clams have awoken from our winter nap and all of the Bay of Biscay is abuzz in preparation for this Most Beautiful Race. As usual, please disregard the meat grinder located just pass the finish line with the tube extending out into the bay to spray fine nutrients for all us bivalves to snack on. Better than popcorn!

The early handicapping suggests a two-man sprint to win between Phil and Al.

6 MONTHS HUMANS! THE BIVALVES ARE EXCITED!!!!

It's Friday. Really! It is! I know my days of the week, and I know that right now, it's so totally Friday. And that means review time. Do you remember what we did last week? Don't worry, I'm here with this handy cheat sheet to help you remember. Because I'd hate to think of you going forward through life with no recollection of this week.

We did a preview of the Amgen Tour of California from a Ferrari. Also, we went shopping on Rodeo Drive. Now, we have no money, but we had a fabulous time.

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You think the road season is in full swing now that Qatar is in the books. This must mean cross season is over, right? Nope, you'd be mistaken! For you fellow cross junkies, there are not one but two (TWO!) chances to catch some more muddy action before the season is well and truly over. The two big Belgian cross series - Superprestige and GVA - hold their final races over the next two weekends.

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The Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) handed down a verdict in what has been a simmering case involving former Tour winner (and 5-time runner up) Jan Ullrich. What? A case involving Ullrich? Didn't he retire back in 2007? Yes, evidently Operation Puerto, the 2006 doping case against Dr. Eufemiano Fuentes and his clients, is the gift that just keeps on giving. If you didn't hear, Ullrich was suspended for two years and all his results from 1 May, 2005 onwards were stripped.

The Ullrich case is a true labyrinth of legal proceedings. Really, it's convoluted. I don't know if I could have made it through the ruling without a glass(es) of wine. But! I did read the whole thing! And so you don't have to, I have a greatest hits, plus juicy tidbits from Ullrich's personal website in response to the ruling.

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Ronde van Vlaanderen director Wouter Vanden Haute spoke to the press today defending the massive changes to Flanders' mooiste (most beautiful) and laying out the particulars of the route. Get all the data here. A few take-home messages:

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My goal of world domination winning a CX race seeing the Tour of Flanders live on American broadcast TV is ever closer to reality. NBC Sports Network is planning to show the Tour of Flanders and Paris-Roubaix live via their cable and online sources. [Full schedule here.] This is a step up from the last round of Versus, since gobbled up by NBC, which showed the races on tape delay. I am all for tape-delay, but that doesn't mean you need to squander the far more exciting spectacle of live racing in favor of a pre-recorded fishing infomercial.

[Adding, sponsorship by Competitive Cyclist made it happen, apparently.]

Anyway, apart from the move to live, and the move to a network which could throw a single switch and send it to every TV in America for free, there's this:

The Tour of Flanders is a Flanders Classics road cycling race held in Belgium every spring, a week before the Paris-Roubaix road race. It is part of the UCI ProTour and one of the so-called monuments of the European professional calendar, and contributes to the UCI World Ranking points. It is the most important cycling race in Belgium and, along with Paris-Roubaix, the world's most important cycling race held on a single day.

Um, can I get a hell yeah!!? Finally, someone understands us. And they have a nationwide broadcasting license!

Meanwhile in bike racing... The dudes really go at it in this one, eh? A fun finish to this stage 4 of the Tour of Qatar. It was not exactly the routine march to the bunch sprint we sometimes see in the early season. Yay bikes!

Yes. Yes it is. Wielerman, a/k/a Renaat Schotte, twitpics a photo of the printed race guide (a pretty good sign), which reveals some tasty nuggets of information:

• Final distance is 234.6km, finally crashing the 230km barrier that G-W has threatened for a couple years now.
• After messing around in France, the decisive climbs are as follows:

1. Vidagneberg, km 170
2. Baneberg, km 172
3. Kemmelberg, km 180
4. Schomminkelstraat, km 185
5. Baneberg, 189
6. Kemmelberg, 196
7. Monteberg, 200

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