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Ricco's Lament

Ricco's Lament (sung to the tune of "Que Sera, Sera")

When I was added to the team
I asked my teammates what lies ahead?
Can we ride cleanly, and still win a race?
Here’s what my teammates said.

Take CERA, CERA,
That shit gets you up the hill
If you don’t use it, your rivals will
Take CERA, CERA
And go in for the kill.

When I was training for the Tour
I asked my doctor, "Hey, should I dope?
Will I get tested, will I get caught?"
He smiled and just said "Nope."

Take CERA, CERA,
Invisible in the test
They’ll all think that you’re the best
Take CERA, CERA
When you line up at Brest.

Now I am thrown out on my ass
My team’s disbanded, what did I do?
Will I be employed ever again?
Will all my sponsors sue?

Blame CERA, CERA,
The Cobra they once adored
Won’t be racing anymore
Blame CERA, CERA
All done at twenty-four.

—Marlys Pearson (if you like it, feel free to pass it on--just credit me, please)