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Tour de Suisse... Cancellara Coronation... LIVE!

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Today is the day Fabian Cancellara is elected king of Switzerland. By, what, 5pm local time(?) Tony Spartacus will have completed his 38.5km circuits around Bern at a rate that will leave not only his rivals but an entire country gasping. The response will be swift and severe, with the current Swiss government swept out of office by Monday morning to make room for Cancellara and a phalanx of domestiques to serve in his cabinet. All that remains unknown at this time is whether Cancellara will use his new offices for good, or will run amok on power, glutting himself at the Swiss National Chocolate Reserves deep underneath Lake Geneva... thus rendering his form unsuited to further stage racing and undermining his authority at home.

Aw, hell, I'll pick Tony Martin for the overall win. Hey, whatever happens, it'll be a fun day. It's also Father's Day, speaking of running amok on power. I plan to wake up in time for the final riders, whom I will watch as my kids feed me challah French toast smothered in syrup. And not that manufactured crap -- real maple syrup from New Hampshire (which is every bit as good as the pricier Vermont stuff). Yep, this is gonna be fun.