Welcome back, people! You know what happens here. I try to make sense of the craziness that is the professional cycling world. Which isn't nearly as easy as you think people - trust me on that!
So what are we dealing with this week? We have races to talk about. Multiple, in fact! Tirreno, Paris-Nice, Strade Bianche, Drenthe. Infamous interviews too, as well as tridents!
Winners
Skeletor Bradley Wiggins
He's won every important stage race in France except for the stage race in France. At this rate, he might take that one as well. And, in a world where headlines generate revenue and make sponsors happy, Sky's overlords must be pleased. Everything is going according to plan. Now the question is whether Bradley and Brailsford can marginal gain an extra 2 weeks of whoopass...
So, what else do we have to look at? Below the jump, peoples!
Marianne Vos
Weekend. Two races, two wins. Big surprise, eh? I feel like I should just leave Marianne in this section on principle for the rest of the season.
Vincenzo Nibali
Small Motor 1, Big Motor 0. It's not the size of the motor that matters, it's how you use it. And oh how think of the things he can do with that enormous trident.
Tommeke, baby, Tommeke
Make the break, work the echelon like a madman, win the sprint. Paris-Nice stage win a week before the real Classics start, won in true hardman fashion? Check. That's got to keep the confidence up. But even better? We almost forgot how good Boonen looked when Cancellara went crazy at Strade Bianche and then won the TT at Tirreno-Adriatico. Flying under the radar for a week? Check. Maybe. It may just be me being hopeful.
Losers
Roman Kreuziger
Oh Roman, remember that time years ago when, in an interview with Cyclesport magazine, you said Nibali had a "small motor?" Yeah, that time. At the time, we kind of believed you were the stronger one. I mean, you were two years younger and had finished ninth in the tour to his seventh. And! You beat him the year prior! Oh, to re-live those days...
Now, your "small motor" comment is the one thing people remember from that interview. Or any interview with you, really. Silly words, probably spoken without much forethought in the spur of the moment. But, every time he beats you (which is often these days!) or wins a Grand Tour, we remember them. Sorry Roman, we like you - we really do - but you're not going to live that comment down unless you take it up a level STAT.
Jens! Voigt
Of all the people in the peleton to get in a break with, he chose LL Sanchez. Who might be the only person we expect to totally work over his break mates, lay down some massive watts, and take the win more than Jens. Poor Jens! I think we all knew, deep down, how that race was going to play out.
My Brain
So, did you hear the news? Fuentes (Yes. I'm bringing him up again.) admits to having given riders blood transfusions. But he claims he wasn't breaking any laws when he did so. Really, dude? Whatever you're smoking, I want some. Or maybe not, it sounds scary potent.
So.... did I miss anything?