First star: "The Look, 2013"
"Are you kidding me? That's not supposed to happen."
Well it did. And all signs point to the possibility that it may happen many more times in the future. Let's see how our Manx hero handles this new development.
Second star: Andy "I found a new brother" Schleck
Being replaced is never a fun feeling for anyone and you have to feel for Fränk, sitting there on a couch in Luxenbourg eating Cheetos and yelling at the TV, as Andy is starting to get his career back on track and has also gone out and found himself a Fränk II . All that's missing is for Laurent Didier to develop a disdain for races decided downhill and a love for fishing and Andy is ready to phase Fränk right out of the picture. Fränk is dead, all hail the new Fränk.
Third star: Anyone not wearing these sunglasses
Sweden had two contributions to this year's Tour de France. Fredrik Kessiakoff, who had to abandon early, and these abominable sunglasses from Swedish sport equipment company POC. You may know POC from such trainwrecks as the orange Swedish Olympic penishead-helmet and ........ well that's pretty much it. Lets face it, the penishead-helmet looked pretty good in comparison.
EDIT UPDATE: BONUS FOURTH STARS: Weird OPQS frenchies
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/lDQ4bv4pJlI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Photo credit: Cav/Kittel - Bryn Lennon, Getty , Hesjedal & The New Schlecks - Fotoreporter Sirotti